Dacht thine deetchenzen foze die grabchen--- Arabesque Veeeeeeeeee Overall Album Score: 4.9 out of 10 The fifth time around, and the band is sexier than ever. Man, if today was 1981, I'd go to Germany right now, go to the recording studio, find these total babes and ask them WHAT THE CRAP IS THE GAS TURBINE FOR???? ... They must be using these to counterfeit money. I'm not sure how they would accomplish this, but I have my suspicions ... ANYWAY, their music surely hasn't improved since their previous album. They're still up to no good -- stealing other musician's songs (even though I can't pinpoint where they're taking it from most of the time ... I'm usually not that good pointing those types of things out). I did feel like giving two of these songs 8.5s ... there are two actual SOLID songs in here, to my surprise. Their previous albums, I only gave out scores as high as eights. I think the aftershock of "Hello, Mister Monkey" is deteriorating the music appreciation area of my brain at a steady, nearly unnoticeable rate. What's interesting about this album (if there can EVER be ANYTHING interesting about such a CRAP album), is that their shift away from doing strictly disco-europop mirrors with ABBA's shift. A few of these tracks are just like songs that appeared on Super Trooper except they're crap. Most notably, "Indio Boy" is a direct response to "The Piper." ... I mean, seriously guys. If you want to be Swedes, apply for citizenship. I don't know why Germans have to be so freaky all of the time. Overall Album Score: 4.9 out of 10 (Nice try, freaks, but you'll never escape the fact that you're German and stupid.) Average Song Score: 5.6 (Oh, these songs are all pretty much stupid. I felt compelled enough to give two of them 8.5s ... and there was a 1 as well.) Album Tilt: 4.5 (This band can go to Japan for all I care.) Artist Rating: 4.5 (Well ... they seem to be expanding their horizons a little bit. ABBA was expanding their horizons at the same time!) Track Reviews In For a Penny, In For a Pound 3/10 ...They're in it for the money, at any rate... How on earth could SONGWRITERS write such cheesy songs! GARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH! The chorus is bleeding awful. Why can't they at least be NORMAL and write NORMAL STUPID SONGS rather than STUPID STUPID songs! The backing music is as generic as it gets. ... Oddly enough, the melodic structure tries to do the whole complex ABBA thing. Surprisingly, at least how they mesh together different melodic ideas, they're marginally successful. The actual melodies they mesh together are crap, though. And the song is cheesy. A mouse's paradise. The Hero of My Life 4/10 These guys are awful singers. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! They could at least SOUND NORMAL! THEY HAVE FREAKING STUPID GERMAN ACCENTS! ... That's why I should never review music that was written by Germans (and one of the songwriter's last name is Frankfurter ... yup, this music does sound like it was written by a wiener). This song sounds like it should be catchy, but it's not. It's just more stupid ABBA-wannabe stuff. Like a Shot in the Dark 7.5/10 The first thing misstep Arabesque took in their stupid career was that they were born in Germany. Why? 1. Germans are STUPID. 2. Germans SUCK. 3. Germans love David Hasselhoff. Nevertheless, of all this German's band effort to try mimicking ABBA, this is one of the successful ones. Ultimately, this is about as good as one of ABBA's worst songs during their 1975-1983 reign. That's not saying much, but it's saying enough. The melody is fairly catchy ... it repeats just a few times too much. If it were shorter, I'd give it an 8. Run the Show 5/10 PIECE OF CRAP! Yeah, this is indeed ANOTHER idiotic Europoop wonder from the GERMANS. The chorus has a hook in it or two, but that doesn't automatically make this a good song. The song is crap. Goodbye. Indio Boy 6.5/10 What the #*$& is an Indio Boy? ... Oh well, it doesn't matter. I learned my lesson from paying attention to Arabesque lyrics a few albums ago. ... Anyway, CAN WE SOUND A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE ABBA'S "THE PIPER?????" ... The day Germans stopped secretly wishing they were Swedes will be the day ... uhhhh ... I don't know what. All that pointless ranting aside, this is among the better songs from the album. Directly copying ABBA will do that to a song. Billy's Barbecue 1/10 Can we be A LITTLE MORE CHEESY??????????? That fake steel drum is total donkey crap stupid jerky pee pee. Thank goodness this song isn't as leech-like catchy as "Hey, Mister Monkey Butt" or I'd probably have to commit suicide again FOR REAL. Billy can stick his barbecue up his big fat barbecued rump roast. The Doctor Likes Music 7/10 It's refreshing to know that the doctor likes something other than molesting his patients ... (what's with those gasps in this song? ... Hmmmm ....) Anyway, this is a total dumbass attempt at doing ragtime. But what can I say? Cheesy ragtime is better than cheesy Europop any day of the week. (Nevertheless, this does reek of a bad Branson, Mo. show tune.) The Rebels of the Bounty 8.5/10 This tune bares an almost disturbing likeness to a song from The Little Shop of Horrors. I don't remember exactly what the song *is* (and I don't have the means of looking it up at the moment). And both songs would have came out at just about the same time ... At any rate, that doesn't matter. This song is based on a surprisingly solid hook and it manages to carry it out for the entire duration of the song. I don't care if it's still unrelentingly cheesy, this is a solid song FOR ONCE. And this is the highest song score I've ever awarded to these stupid Germans ... who happen to be popular in Japan. Let's Make a Night of It 5/10 Oh, dear. We're back to the disco Europop stuff. I paused this song a second to listen to ABBA's "On and On and On" (because I thought this song bared a slight resemblance to that song ... but it doesn't really). AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!!! ... OH, I WANT TO REVIEW ABBA'S ALBUMS AGAIN! WHY AM I STUCK REVIEWING THIS????? Germans. I Stand By You 8.5/10 This song sounds like another song ... I don't really feel like trying to figure out what it is. But ... this is a good song! They copied someone else's song rather well this time! ... The chorus has a few nice hooks in it and well-worked chord changes in it. The rest of the song is a little bit dull and plodding. The wiener served his peoples well this time. And there's another 8.5. Either this is actually a good song, or I've been brainwashed. 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All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He loves the bladies.