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Overall Album Score: 5.0 out of 10

GURRIETIHNGMTIEUROGNEOPEORIP!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the monkey talking. It's been about three years since I reviewed the first Arabesque creation, and Mr. Monkey is still picking at my brain. Thank goodness I graduated college a few months ago, or my GPA would have really slipped.

And now here I am *eyes begin to well* subjecting myself to this bad Europop music for a reason that I forgot. *cries louder* I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ........ OK, I should promise myself to not commit suicide during this review. I know that's a difficult temptation to resist, but ... I promise myself here and---HEY, BRAIN!! I SEE YOU EYEING THAT BOTTLE OF PILLS!!! YOU ARE *NOT* GOING TO MAKE MY HANDS REACH FOR THE BOTTLE!!!!!! (It's good that I need both of these hands to type...... all this incessant typing saved my life.)

So, what's it with this group, anyway? Despite that I lived a decent amount of life between Arabesque albums, I still haven't found the answer to what they needed gas turbines for. But at least there's a few good turns on this album that's worthy of a mention. True, nothing too excellent enough to have received anything higher than an 8 and that's why this album doesn't quite rank as their best. But the supporting material is slightly better (as well as the truly dismal nonsense down there such as "Prison of Love" and the tropicana "Surfing the Bahama."

Some songs like "Moorea" and "Zanzibar" had some nice ideas, instrumentally, but the melodies were so dull and derivitive that it robbed the song of any potential. As far as choosing a best song goes, I'd definitely have to pick the album opener, "Why No Reply?" Yes, it's a disco song released in 1982, but it steals enough from ABBA to be engaging.

And with that, I say...... uhhhhhhhhh .... nice costumes?


Overall Album Score: 5.0 out of 10 I almost get the feeling this band would have been big in a parallel universe. Maybe that's where this came from! ......... Has anyone actually heard of "Arabesque?" How did I run across these albums in the first place????? Holy .......)


Average Song Score: 5.4 (Ick5 ttotpw)

Album Tilt: 5.0 (So the truly abysmal qualities are kept to a comfortable minimum.)

Artist Rating: 4.5 (I did dish out a few compliments for the instrumentation, but there's also VERY SEVERE lapses of taste throughout this.)


Track Reviews

Why No Reply? 8/10

...Because I'm trying it ignore you German freaks! ... Quit stalking me, OK? (Hey, phones don't make that noise anymore ... come on, live with the times!) ... You know something? This is almost a good song. Sure, it takes a hint and a few hooks from "Summer Night City" by ABBA, but this is kind of enjoyable with some nice funky horns and a groovy dance beat. I thought disco was dead by the early '80s, but ............ who's to argue with freaky Germans?

Discover Me 6/10

...Are you a continent? In that case, I'll need a ship. ... I don't have a ship. Oh well. Back to this song. This is the usual blandness I've always come to expect for this band. The melody is a barren wasteland for hooks. It seems like a halfhearted attempt at arena rock except the singers sound like three drunk chicks at amatuer hour in the kareoke bar. OK, that was mean ... I really love these singers. I'm sure they're excellent people ...........

Don't Fall Away From Me 7.5/10

Usually, it's a bad idea for this band to do anything that doesn't sound like ABBA. Everything else sounds pretty idiotic. But for once, their foray into cutesy, shuffling Broadway-style number didn't turn into such a poor experience. There aren't enough good pop hooks, but there are some. The spirit is convincing enough. The session musicians turn in some good brass.

Moorea 5/10

Wow! Great introduction! ... It's enchanting and atmospheric with the nice blend of synth electric pianos and strings. You had me thinking you were going after some Kate Bush stylings. (Maybe you were!) But then the melody surfaces and this *oh horrors* turns into what sounds too much like a country-western ballad. (I hate country-western like the plague ... especially if it comes from Europop musicians). The melody is very trite ........ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .............. really a stomach ache inducing melody. The lyrics are too busy for the vocals and it gets distractingly jumbled. What a shame!!!

A New Sensation 6.5/10

Back to the normal ABBA-esque europop for you! And go to your room for those other songs! (And then go to your room for stealing more of those coveted ABBA hooks.) The instrumentation has a few nice ideas ... kind of a woody synth goes off every once in awhile and there's a nice enough use of a synth string. The song has nice drive, but the melody is so stale that the song grows verrrry old by the end. You're going to have to do more than this ......... not that I was expecting that. This song is boring but not too offensive. I'm delightfully surprised that there hasn't been a really offensive moment yet in the album. .... But let's not speak too soon.

Young Fingers Get Burnt 4/10

...That's why you shouldn't let your kid near the stove. What are you, irresponsible parents?????? (Wait, you had kids together???? ... oh . .. ..................) This is wisely a well-driving Europop song, but it's so desperate for hooks that it's sucking the life force from behind my eyeballs. I still can't say the song is offensive, but it's banal. Very banal. Bleugh!

Rainy Love Affair 5.5/10

.................... A rainy love affair. ................. Do you mean a juicy love affair? ......... or a steamy love affair????? This is another Broadway styled song, but it comes together OK. Granted, it grows extremely tiresome by the end. The instrumentation is very disappointing considering they were vaguely worthy of compliment in other points of the album. The melody is OK but still needs some electric hook therapy. .... The most points were counted off for sounding too damn cutesy. I'll come back when I'm on Prozac ... probably in a few short years.

Prison of Love 2/10

This band has a real talent for squeezing the will to live out of its listeners. Why do I keep going back? .... Um, it doesn't matter, because I'm going to be on Prozac in a few years. I'm not too sure what I find so offensive about this song.......... The melody was probably written by someone without a clue. This song is after my soul. Brururuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Surfing Bahama 3/10

Um............. tropicana coupled with Europop along. Granted, this combination doesn't sound so bad here as it did when ABBA tried such antics. BUT this melody sounds like a very bad nursery rhyme. It's cutesy, but with no substance. I promised myself I wouldn't commit suicide in this review, so I'll just put my fingers over my ears until this is over.

Zanzibar 6/10

A little better here and more dramatic. That means the song has interesting development that keeps the whole thing from sounding like I passed out in the middle of a Sesame Street episode. The song structure really is fairly decent here but the melody is VERY bad. .......... phew.... But as far as torturous experiences go, I've had worse. Much worse. ... Even from bands that aren't Arabesque.


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