Joan Baez is the Devil Vol. 2

Overall Album Score: 8.5 out of 10

I really don’t know why I ever elected to review Joan Baez. I think it was because I thought it would be an unusual step and something that we, of the Web Reviewing Community, don’t have much of.

But she’s really not a whole lot of fun to review. I blasted her dearly for doing "Kumbaya," but other than that, it’s been pretty easy-going. Again, I have to reiterate that I am a stupid subjective bastard when it comes to folk music. Some weird chemical/biological processes in my brain tend to reject any type of American folk and embrace British folk. Maybe everyone’s like that! Anyway, her British folk songs are her shining moments on here, particularly "Queen of Hearts."

She starts covering Dylan (her boyfriend), too, which provide some of the best moments of the album. Again, I’m being totally subjective when I suggest that Dylan was better than his predecessors, and I might just enjoy those because, well, I’ve been listening to The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan for quite awhile, so they’re engrained in my mind! But … just take my word for it. They’re awesome.

I really do wish that Baez would have adapted some, I don’t know, personality. Sure she has a pretty voice, and sure she digs up a few good folky songs to cover, but … where’s the personality??? Where’s the stuff that makes me *believe* what you sing? … I only bring that up because I know how effective Dylan is at doing that, even though is voice is ugly. Can’t you ask your boy about some of his secrets????? … I guess not.

To conclude, FOLK IS BORING.

Overall Album Score: 8.5 out of 10 (Baez is still being excruciatingly boring, but this album achieves what it sets out to.)

Average Song Score: 8.6 ("Hush Little Baby" was a misstep in the similar vein as "Kumbaya" was a misstep in her previous live album, but it’s not quite of a groan-inducing one. Other than that, both albums are similar.)

Album Tilt: 8.5 (Beautiful at times … boring most of the time.)

Artist Rating: 8.5 (She doesn’t write her own material, but … I guess you can say that it wasn’t her purpose. She’s a pretty singer and good guitar player … and that’s all that’s really on here.)

Track Reviews

Once I Had a Sweetheart 8.5/10

Joan Baez continues to reap the rich harvest of songs that you don’t have to pay royalties for--I mean, reviving songs long thought forgotten. This old English folk song (which is usually what I prefer that Joan Baez sing, just because I think they’re beautiful) … and this song ain’t no exception. It’s just Baez and her geeeeeeetar.

Jackaroe 9.5/10

Another olden English-type song. (They really had a lot of olden-type English folk songs … Joan Baez keeps covering them.) Her quality of performance is exactly the same as … um … all her songs seem to be. This is a just better song, I think.

Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright 9.5/10

HAH!!! A BOB DYLAN SONG!!! YOU’LL HAVE TO PAY ROYALTIES ON THAT ONE, YOUNG MISSY!!!! …… oh wait, she was dating Bob Dylan …… and she probably had him wrapped around her pinky finger like most women do to their men. … Well, at any rate, she has a much prettier voice than Bob Dylan. And, this was definitely my favorite song from The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan, but … is it better than Bob Dylan’s version? … NO! … It’s not nearly as heartfelt! … DUDE!!!! … Next to Bob Dylan, Joan Baez is such a doodie.

We Shall Overcome 8.5/10

…YEAH, I WOULD LIKE TO SING "WE SHALL OVERCOME" WITH YOU, JOAN BAEZ!!!!!!!!!! (…hey, she asked me, so I thought I’d respond…). The very beginning of this song is very easy to sing, too. It goes like this: "Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm" (and, no, it’s not a sex scene). … Well, this is Baez’s version of that one Pete Seeger song that all the oppressed peoples sang in the 60s. I don’t want to get in the historical significance of it … and I don’t want to divulge what I actually think of the music quality of it (because I’ll probably get hate mail) so … I’ll just leave it at that … (and, for the record, I’m not actually tworked off that we hear the beatnik/protester types singing along with it … That reached the apex of crappiness with that *twitch* one song from Vol. 1).

Portland Town 9.5/10

…Yeah, you can keep singing those Renaissance-era folk songs … BECAUSE THOSE ARE AWESOME, BABE!!!! (…have you noticed a theme in these Joan Baez reviews? Songs about peace, love, and harmony are lesser than the old English stuff…) Anyway, keep doing it, protest lady.

Queen of Hearts 10/10

ANOTHER old English song!!! (…Really, those English RULE…) This one’s particularly nice (and a relatively well-known song) … And … yeah … um … good song. Go England and all your songs.

Manha De Carnaval/Te Ador 8.5/10

My gut-instinct on this one is that it isn’t an English song. But I think it’s European. Yeah … they’re on the Euro … That’s weird … Anyway, this is an old-fashioned folk song that’s NOT ENGLISH and … it’s good as far as those types of songs go. It’s not as pretty as the English ones, but … I wouldn’t want to sound like a racist.

Long Black Veil 9/10

An AMERICAN song this time. Seriously, why did the Americans have to go and make folk music when the BRITISH made such great folk music back in the olden days? … I mean … MAN … what’s the point???? Anyway, I’m a stupid, biased, narrow-minded person. This song is pretty good. So there.

Fennario 8.5/10

Baez says to the audience ‘if no one objects, I’m going to take off my shoes.’ Um … I OBJECT!!!!!!!! … Actually, I am surprised that she even wore shoes. I thought dorky beatnik hippie singers with acoustic guitars who play folk music just went around barefoot in protest of the constrictive nature of shoes. … Anyway, I guess that was a false notion. Well, this song is a pretty good one … I mean, I think this song is pretty famous … um … but it’s BORING … why must these hippie people be boring? I don’t care what you think, o snobby former hippie, B-O-R-I-N-G. I’m still giving it an 8.5. Don’t be hatin’.

‘Nu Bello Cardillo 8.5/10

You know, you really can’t get more dull than Joan Baez as she talks her lines … even though she’s being "funny." There’s NO delivery! She just coldly talks. BLAH! … That’s hippie-folk for ya, I guess. Those types of people never bothered themselves with anything but an over-pretentious and over-serious nature, anyway. BORINGGGGGGG!!! I’ll take my glam-rock any day of the week! … But they don’t make such pretty songs as this! … (Well, this is another song written by Mr. Traditional, so … she didn’t "make" it.)

With God On Our Side 10/10

Baez does Dylan again (maybe literally). I like this rendition of the song better than her other Dylan cover "Don’t Think Twice it’s All Right." It just seems more suited to her voice this time. Of course, the melody’s good and the material is contemporary and powerful. It’s boring, too, of course.

Three Fishers 7.5/10

Joan Baez is BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the end of *this* track review.

Hush Little Baby 7/10

Seriously, what’s the point of covering such universally well-known songs that are so old our great-grandmothers were sick of it since birth? What’s worse, it’s a freaking NURSERY RHYME. So, automatically, any American listening to this would have automatic flashbacks to their childhood, which may not be a good thing. … The song itself is a NURSERY RHYME for a reason. It’s simple and easy for children to sing. It isn’t anything we really want to hear from a FOLK PERSON … though the audience seemed to clap louder on here than any other song … It just adds another piece of evidence to my theory that all folk-lovers are dorks. (Seriously, I think the baby’s mother should make all efforts to find a mockingbird that sings, because diamond rings are EXPENSIVE. Of course, nobody who’s normal takes this song seriously. My mother sure didn’t. I hear mocking birds not sing all the time, and I have yet to receive a diamond ring.)

Battle Hymn of the Republic 9/10

…She sounds kind of smug as she introduces this song … and I’m not sure why (you do know that Baez is the most anti-war person in the world and … I can’t figure out why she’s doing it). BUT THE HIPPIES LIKE IT, BECAUSE THEY’RE SINGING ALONG WITH IT!!!!!!!!!! … Anyway, this as well-known than "Hush Little Baby" if not more-so, but it’s not STUPID and FOR STUPID CHILDREN so it’s much more welcome.

Rambler Gambler 8/10

…I probably shouldn’t count these bonus tracks in the regular album review … but seriously, she doesn’t write her own music anyway, so why not? The songs are as good as the others, so … yeah … Anyway, I don’t particularly like this song! I think it’s boring … more boring than usual. I don’t really like the tune, either. Blech.

Railroad Bill 8/10

Oh, if this song doesn’t strike you as being AMERICAN in the title, then nothing does.

Death of Emmet Till 8/10

I just learned that Joan Baez’s cousin is one of the world’s leading physicists … That explains why Joan Baez is so boring. While this is a pretty good song in its own right (from some songwriter somewhere), but zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Tomorrow is a Long Time 7.5/10

Okay, I just read something by Joan Baez’s cousin (the "Crackpot Index") and concluded that he is pretty interesting. But … dudes … Joan … Zzzzzzzzzzz … This song is so quiet and … I really don’t think I like the melody, either. Wha--?

When First Unto This Country 8/10

It’s a nice ole song … a nice ole song … um … yeah … nice …… It’s bed time now. Sorry folks.

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