Stage Plight

Overall Album Score: 8.2 out of 10

I read other critics' assessments of Stage Fright. I knew the talk! I just hadn't walked the walk! ... Most of them say their third album is a decent one, but nothing like The Band ......... and it's true ................... literally. This album is nothing like The Band!

The biggest disappointment for me was the melodies. They aren't too special on this album. ... And, I mean, those freaking melodies on The Band are so good that I, every-so-once-in-awhile get summa them stuck in my head and pleasant thoughts come with it. (It's been a few months since I reviewed The Band last ... and ... business kept me from updating this site ... and ...... I probably love that album even more now!) Simply put, I'll just never take these songs to heart. They'll never dwell in me.

Another disappointment, about equally as huge, is the freaking atmosphere. You just can't match the atmosphere of The Band, and they don't even appear to try with Stage Fright. ... I'm not even sure what this album is supposed to be! ... Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

Indeed, most of what I'm expressing is sour disappointment (and ... well, I think that feeling's justified!!), but now I have to look at it from The Band's point of view. They're freaking famous at this point. They had just released one of the greatest masterpiece albums of all time. Everyone loves them! ... This is just an unworthy follow-up to a hugely successful album. That's not a concept foreign to our lovely world of ROCK. If you're already successful and you already made your masterpiece, what on earth can you do to be better? ... Yeah, if you try that, you might turn into Brian Wilson and go nuts.

And these are good songs, anyway. Most of the time, they are nicely put, and these guys still know how to play them instruments (which might be their greatest altogether asset, after all). It's just that this album doesn't have that "priceless" feel their previous album seemed to have so naturally. This world could do without Stage Fright.

Overall Album Score: 8.2 out of 10 (I truthfully expected that this album doesn't measure up to The Band ... but I didn't expect that I would actually feel a bit hurt by it. ... I mean ... *sniffle* ... This album seems to lack everything that made The Band so dang priceless.)

Average Song Score: 8.7 (Solid numbers all around ... but ... this sucks compared to that last album they did.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (What a bore! And, it's so unfocused!)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (...You know ... I hate to seem so dang mean, but The Band really seemed to max out their potential with The Band. This seems more like they only put this one out to get every out to the record stores who loved The Band just to make some more dough. Certainly there's more value to this album than that, but ... that's my gut emotion.)

Track Reviews

Strawberry Wine 8/10

A pretty conventional boogie-type song ... but what's with that weird accordion thing going off? It doesn't even seem to be playing an actual harmony ... it's not supporting a dang note of the melody! ... But why is it also oddly appealing? ... I don't know. ... On a different point, I already know this isn't going to be as great as The Band. I can only muster up enough love for "Strawberry Wine" to give it an 8! Oh, dear. And Kermit's singing this. ... Eh, his voice isn't that annoying, even though he does sound like a Muppet.

Sleeping 8.5/10

I like this song, even though I'm slightly dismayed at how unfocused it seems. One minute it's a nice and quiet piano ballad. The next minute it's an upbeat rock ditty. ... All parts of this song are rather nice, but ... it's hardly priceless.

Time to Kill 9/10

Finally a nice, solid, and upbeat song! These guys really are wonderful instrumentalists and such, and they do a superb job here. This does seem kinda cheaply-put though. But I suppose I'm comparing it too much to The Band. This is an excellent song, regardless.

Just Another Whistle Stop 9/10

I like this song, too. This one seems more focused (thankfully) and the melody is nice'n'catchy. I think the instrumentation here is particularly excellent and ... The Band can have my baby any day of the month. Still seems low-key, though. (Dang it ... liking The Band so much ruined this freaking album for me, didn't it? ... Well, this album isn't as good! Can't I just get over that?)

All La Glory 9.5/10

Awwww... Now this is a very nice song, indeed. It's mellow, laid-back, and entirely lovable. I cannot do anything to this song but love it to pieces! ... It might sound a lot like some of the songs on The Band while not exactly being better than them ... but, this such a nice song, anyway. I like it.

The Shape I'm In 8.5/10

An upbeat song ... and it's a solid one, certainly! ... But where are all the freaking catchy melodies??? ... I guess Music From Big Pink didn't have particularly catchy melodies ... so I guess The Band was a one-time melodic deal, but still! ... Eh. This is a perfectly fine song, anyway. That organ in the background doesn't really seem to compliment the melody again ... it's that "Strawberry Wine" song all over again!!

The W.S. Walcott Medicine Show 9.5/10

Oh freaking finally!!! Here's a melody that at least seems to attempt to rival The Band. It's quite a catchy song! ... This seems to even cash in on those old-time American society that was ever-so-prevalent on The Band. ... Yes ... I like this song.

Daniel and the Sacred Harp 8.5/10

I think this melody is fairly nice ... but there aren't any HUGE hooks in it! Still a pleasant song, just the same. It's pritty guud. Yah. Shure.

Stage Fright 7.5/10

Another track. Another song. Another heave ho. ... This is another song where I go: "I wish the melody were a little catchier or there were something interesting about it." ... But ... yeah. This is another mild song. Perhaps even more mild than the other ones on here.

The Rumor 8.5/10

I like this one ... but that might only be because it sort of reminds me of The Band ... barely. ... Um ... I'm not going to get all excited over this.

Don't be frightful ... you can e-mail me your stupid, wrathful comments here!