It's Been a Hard Day's Night In Bed

Overall Album Score: 9.3 out of 10

Oh man! What can get better than this, I wonder? Any album the Beatles put out before their career-altering Rubber Soul was released in 1965, THIS is the greatest early Beatles album. Such a dub is very significant as well! I mean ... this is the Beatles back in the days when they were four guys in dark suits and bushy hair singing love songs. THIS is the Beatles before they started doing stuff like singing about walruses and drugs and stuff like that! Before they started piddling around with that sitar nonsense and those frickin' "Oh-blee-dee Oh-mah-dah" and "We-yall-liv-ina-yella-submari" stuff started happening! It was in that time when men were still men and women were still slaves. Oh yes! This is the Beatles before they went all artistic and stuff on us! Yay!

Well ... pretty much EVERY Beatles album is worth purchasing, but this one is ESPECIALLY worth purchasing. This pop album is -- to put it in layman's terms -- a FRIKIN' AWESOME POP MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!!!

To illustrate this album, it is pure and simple pop rock. Nothing complex ... no anti-War sentiments ... nothing experimental - Just fun!

Oh yeah.

All I need to do is just list some of these names, and the quality of this album ought to become quite clear to you.

"A Hard Day's Night" -- Oooooh yes. 'Tis an excellent song, if I ever heard one.

"And I Love Her" -- Oh yeah! That's that Paul McCartney dilly. I like it. Yup.

"Can't Buy Me Love" -- Oh huh! I know 'dis song, too!

"Dancing Queen" -- Hruh???

(Hah! Fooled yah with that 'Dancing Queen' bit, didn't I? Heheheheeee! I love this job! Even though I'm not getting paid fer it.)

And ... not only are those three famous songs on this album, but every single other song on here are also incredibly awesome! Yep. All hail The Beatles! This album is so good that their following two albums, The Beatles For Sale and Help! don't even seem to come CLOSE to this!

Also, there are no covers on this album! Yay! My biggest complaint about the early Beatles are their use of covers. (Yeah ... I know EVERYBODY was covering R'n'B classics back then, but The Beatles were so talented that they didn't have a good enough excuse to do covers!) But this album is not inhibited by those evil things. This is The Beatles ... in their most simplest and charming form.

Overall Album Score: 9.3 out of 10 (This is an almost ideal set of pop tunes! About the only place you can do better than this is to buy a Beatles compilation ... something which I would never recommend. If you desire to purchase an early Beatles album, this is the place to go! This is 60's pop music at its best.)

Average Song Score: 9.4 (Ohhh! This is the early Beatles at their best! What awesome songs!)

Album Tilt: 9.5 (And ... Oh! ... What a marvelous collection of songs this is!

Artist Rating: 9.0 (This is a fine collection of pop tunes. They're not exactly artistic in that sense, but they're great for parties and stuff.)

Track Reviews

A Hard Day's Night 10plus/10

Oh! If I don't give this track a 10plus, then I should just discard using this rating altogether! This is one of the greatest pop songs ever written! The music is quick, it is performed with great energy and charm, and the melody is so incredibly good that, for me, it has become one of the greatest and largest marble statues in the magical land of ' rock'n'roll. Oh yes ... if I compare a song to a marble statue, you know it's got to be good! This is the best song in this album (but there's still MUCH more to go)! Wow! This song is just perfect!

I Should Have Known Better 10/10

Hey! Another GREAT melody! You betcha this ain't one of those pussy-willow albums that has one great song, which'll automatically make it a commercial success, and make sub-par crap to fill the rest of the LP with. Nope! Not the Beatles! Not here! Strictly speaking, this is kind of like "A Hard Day's Night" except it's a little more romantic. Completely worthy of this 10. Pure pop at its best!

If I Fell 8.5/10

It's slower, but that still doesn't make it suck. It's top-quality, but it's a little too boring for "Ultimate Classic Beatles" standing.

I'm Happy Just to Dance 9/10

As the title would suggest, this is a dancing song! And it's great fun! I'm not gaga over it by any means ... it's just fun. Yup. A strong 9.

And I Love Her 10/10

Man! It's so hard to review albums like this! All I basically do is go through the tracks and practically dismiss them as "wonderful" like I was checking them off on an inventory sheet. Well ... this slow love song is one of Paul McCartney's more well-known bits, and I probably don't need to go any further with it. It's CLASSIC Beatles, clear and simple. Need I say more?

Tell Me Why 9.5/10

The mood is picked up significantly and the subject matter gets a little bit darker. This one is about the Beatles guys seeing the end of a relationship with a girl. Oh yeah. I like this one 'cause it does a good job expressing a sort of frustrated emotion.

Can't Buy Me Love 10/10

The only reason this song is famous is because it was made into a not-quite-Academy-Award-Winning classic film by the 80's best teenage star: "Patrick Dempsey." Naaaaah! That movie sucked! But this song doesn't! You bet your fat beaver bottom it doesn't suck! No way! No how! Classssssssssssssssssssssssssssic Beatles.

Anytime At All 9/10

Anytime at all, John? Really? Sweeeet! More classic Beatles pop stuff. I wiggle my booty with the beat in delight. This rock song is a little bit more rockin'.

I'll Cry Instead 8.5/10

This pop song sort of enters a little bit into folk-country territory (vaguely). It's still undeniably a Beatles song, though!

Things We Said Today 9.5/10

More classic Beatles! Wow! This isn't a song we usually hear a whole lot about, either! This one is a medium-tempoed song performed with kinda minimal instrumentation. Entirely pleasant. Do these guys never let up?

When I Get Home 8/10

Oooo! The Fab Four get a little bit sloppy here! Oh well ... it's still a good song. I don't care much for those sort of soaring vocals in the chorus. A little bit misfired, but it still managed to hit pretty close to the center of the target. It's the worst song on the album and it's still utterly catchy!

You Can't Do That 9.5/10

This one is kind of similar to "A Hard Day's Night" ... which isn't a bad song to start making formulas off of. It has a nice little riff and it's quite a pleasant little tune, if we've come to identify this as typical Early Beatles stuff.

I'll Be Back 10/10

*Puts on Arnold Schwarzenegger costume*

HEY YA SISSY BRIT POP GUYS AND YER SISSY MOP HAIH! ZAT'S MY LINE!

What a great song to close the album with! And that's not only the title of the song, but the tune is -- like -- a prince among Beatles tunes! Well... then it's just awesome, then! It's, yet, another Beatles classic ..... Geez there are so many classics on here that I think my head is starting to get dizzy with all this giddiness. Oh! If I was only a woman, I would make a statue of John Lennon out of Play-Do and throw my panties at him. You know I would, baby.

Was I correct in my assessment of this album? Or, do I have panties on my head? E-mail me here