Help! George W. Bush Just Issued Another Tax Cut, And I'm Not Getting a Cent!

Overall Album Score: 9.2 out of 10

Help!!!!!!!!!!!! I am being chased by Satan [Hillary Clinton]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No really!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SERIOUS! I'm so sorry, but I can't review Help! by the Beatles right now.

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Hey! Why do you have that look on your face? Hmmmm...?

I really am being chased by Hillary Clinton! REALLY! Not physically of course ...... see, she wants me to buy her $&#*$# stupid book, and she won't leave me alone until I buy it. And, I says, NO WAY HOZAY. And, she says, YOU'D BETTA BUY MY BOOK! And, I says, NO CAN DO, BEEEEEEEOTCH!

Hrmm... why do I have to start off these Beatles reviews in ways in such that you'd think yer reading the "The Musings of a Madman" by Hillary Clinton? I dunno! (Well... I did kinda support the whole healthcare thing until I started seeking therapy.)

WELL... ON WITH THE REVIEW!

You know what? A funny thing happened on the way to the forum. I usually listen to these albums quite a bit before I actually review them (like I really needed to, cause I practically know this one by heart). Well, I was listening to them on my CD/mp3 player, where I have all the other Beatles albums saved on one disc. (Modern technology is awesome isn't it?) During these little strolls, when the album are through playing, I normally re-listen to them again. Well... instead of re-listening to it, I just let the sucka play onto their next album Rubber Soul. And, for some reason, I just NOW discovered the main connection between all these Beatles albums!

You see... The Beatles For Sale was where the Beatles finally started developing their depth, but they kinda forgot how to be fun and compose REALLY GREAT melodies. In Help! they returned to writing REALLY GREAT, fun melodies and actually managed to get a little bit deeper (...albeit, there is some sheer goofiness in here). It's in Rubber Soul when they practically abandon the goofiness and concentrate on SHEER BEATLES HEAVEN! And, of course, their next album after that, Revolver, is where the #*#$ really hits the rotating blades!

I don't know ... perhaps I've always seen the connection, and for some reason am seeing it in a new light. Or, perhaps I'm still high on that opium I took last week. Nevertheless, this is the kind of band evolution discussion stuff I should have on this site, 'cause ya know, THIS IS A MUSIC REVIEW SITE AND I'M SUPPOZTA TALK ABOUT MUUUUUUZAK!

Okay, I'm done talking about music. Anybody got any goat's head soup? ........ Ah? You do? ........... Mmmm! ... You know, this is really good, but it's kind of bland. How about some Sgt. Pepper to go along with that? ... Ah. You don't have any. Pooh. ........ Oh, you do? Okay! Cocaine would be GREAT!

..................and he wonders why he doesn't have a girlfriend..............

Overall Album Score: 9.2 out of 10 (Oh! What else can I say about it! It's another classic album by The Beatles. I don't like it quite as much as I liked A Hard Day's Night, but that's like saying I don't like chicken fingers as much as chicken strips.)

Average Song Score: 9.1 (Hey hey hey! These are a collection of GREAT songs! Yay! This is also the album with "Yesterday" in it, which alone should make it worth purchasing.)

Album Tilt: 9.0 (Oh yeah! I LOVE listening to this album! Even the music-fillers are fun to listen to! A highly recommended album!)

Artist Tilt: 9.5 (Oooo! You bet the Beatles deserve some recognition in the artistic category! The first rock album with a song in it to feature a string quartet? Mmmm... There is also some other innovations in here that points the way toward Rubber Soul and then to Revolver. This is where the Beatles REALLY start making some changes!)

Track Reviews

Help! 10/10

Oooo! The Beatles at yet another sheer highlight in their career! Probably one of their more well-known songs, it sports a melody so excellent that it would put Mick Jagger on his knees, beggin' fer it. (ooooooooooooooo.) 'Tis one excellent song. If it wasn't for "Yesterday," this would be the best song of the album. Already, you can tell that this album is more feel-good than The Beatles For Sale.

The Night Before 9/10

Wow! These Beatles songs are so good that they're INTIMIDATING! If it wasn't next to "Help!" I might have given it a 10. At any rate, this is another great melody and another Beatles classic!

You've Got to Hide Your Love Away 10/10

Sing it, John! This one is almost a Bob Dylan song, 'xcept it's not. It definitely has its folk elements and ... actuuuually, is one of the greats among all Beatles songs. Sewper. (Geez! We're in the midst of perfection and stuff! I feel very small and puny.)

I Need You 9.5/10

Hey! The Beatles are really starting in with their innovative instrumentation that will be o-so-more-prevalent in Rubber Soul. (They do somethin' weird to a guitar ... I don't know what the hell to call it.) Another great song. WHEN WILL IT EVER END????????? It won't! Hah haaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahhhhh! (Ooo! I just learned that this was written by nun other than GEORGE!)

Another Girl 8/10

Hay! This song doesn't strike me as particularly great, so I can give it an 8 without feeling like the grim freaking reaper. It's a simple (but with a super melody) ditty about some dude finding another girl who will love him more. I mom!

You're Gonna Lose That Girl 8.5/10

Take note folks ... this is ABOUT the last we're going to see from the R&B Beatles. It's clearly a 50's-inspired song (written by The Beatles) and ... it's entirely wonderful! Another Beatles classic? Certainly ... but it pales with some of the other stuff on here.

Ticket to Ride 10/10

Bladdabladdaboom! What's with all these FAMOUS songs? It's driving me CRAZZZZY! I think we all know this song, so why should I say anything? Come on: sing with me. "She's got a chicken to ri-hi-hi-de!" 10. 10. 10. 10. 10. Yeah... this is a fun song, but it's quite a bit more musically complex and exhilarating when you compare it to the stuff on A Hard Day's Night. The Beatles evolved like monkeys. And rode chickens. Who also rode tickets. Geez, it's hot in here.

Act Naturally 8/10

Awwwwwww! How cute! One of the two album's covers is a cute little ditty sung by the cute little ditty (Ringo). I enjoy listening to it, certainly, but it was almost entirely inessential.

It's Only Love 8/10

Wow! Sub-par stuff on anybody else's album would suck! But this is GREAT! If it wasn't a Beatles original, it would have been more inessential than "Act Naturally." They're doing weird stuff to their guitars again. WHEN WILL THE INSANITY END!!!

You Like Me Too Much 9/10

Wow! Every time I hear this beginning, I think it's going to be a Bob Dylan song! Heheheee! But it quickly turns into another entirely pleasant Beatles song. Yay! Not one of the album's highlights, but it's really good! (And moments in here do sound a bit like Dylan.) (Hey! This is another George Harrison song ... he doesn't pen the BEST songs in this album like he would later for Abbey Road, but his is penning some of the more interesting songs! Way to go, Georgie!)

Tell Me What You See 8/10

More pleasant pleasantries. We like pleasant pleasantries, don't we Floopsie.

I've Just Seen a Face 9.5/10

Oooooooo! This one is so wonderfully complex and unique that it points it's finger (even though it's about a face) toward Rubber Soul. Well... this is yet another EXCELLENT song and it's a lot more than just pleasant pleasantries. Did you hear that, Floopsie?

Yesterday 10plus/10

It's hard to believe that such a timeless and immortal song is only 2 minutes and 7 seconds! Dooooooooooooooooooooood! It's apparently the first ever rock song to use a string quartet, and according to the All Music Guide, is precisely what led the Beatles to chart new waters with Rubber Soul. (Rock songs with string quartets would be, of course, very common just a couple years down the line.) Well... I think you know this song by heart, so I'm just going to shaddap and listen to it.

Dizzy Miss Lizzy 8/10

Never has a Beatles cover been more appropriate! I mean... this is The Beatles VERY LAST GASP of familiar R&B territory before they would hit Rubber Soul. I don't know ... that's what I consider this song to be, anyway.

Do you agree avec moi? Or, am I a mumbling moron? Leave your comments here