The Beatles Are With Yo Mamma!

Overall Album Score: 8.5 out of 10

I think I'm going to start this review with a pointless cabaret...

Announcer in Funny Clothes: Yes, kids! It's time to meet the Beatles!

All the Kids: [initially screaming, but stops] looks confusedly at their Please Please Me albums But we've already met them!

Announcer in Funny Clothes: Yes! There's John, Paul, Ringo, and ... that other one ... oh yes! Mick Jagger!

All the Kids: That's not Mick Jagger! That's George Harrison!

Announcer in Funny Clothes: So put your hands together FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! THE ONE, THE ONLY! THE ROLLING STONES!

Kid #223432: looks at clasped hands My hand's stuck!

John Lennon on stage: whispers to other bandmates 'Ay! He thinks we're the Rolling Stones. What do we do?

Ringo Starr: I don't know. Let's sing one of their songs.

Paul McCartney: That should be no problem, but BLIMEY we don't know any of their songs!

John Lennon: Oh! What's that song that goes, um, starts humming tune to Eleanor Rigby you know. That one?

Paul McCartney: agitated I wrote that, you fairy!

Ringo Starr: Oh quit fighting! This is 1963! We don't start fighting until 1967! Besides, we won't play Eleanor Rigby for another three years.

George Harrison: staring at himself in mirror I don't look like Mick $&#*$ing Jagger!

John Lennon: Who are the Rolling Stones, anyway?

Paul McCartney: Oi! I've never heard of 'em.

Keith Richards: appearing out of nowhere Why we're the Rolling Stones! Mick gesturing toward George tell 'em who we are!

George Harrison: angered My name is George Harrison! I'm not Mick Jagger!

Keith Richards: Whatever Mick ... Why don't you start playing that tune I taught you?

George Harrison: What tune?

Keith Richards: You know that one ... the one that goes "DO YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE!"

George Harrison: rolls eyes You didn't write that tune. The Jefferson Airplane wrote that. And they won't even write that for a couple of years.

Keith Richards: That's funny. This is 1863. Airplanes haven't been invented yet.

Ringo Starr: knocks out Keith with cymbal

Paul McCartney: Eh, guys. Let's just start playing something.

George Harrison: Not till you give me a kiss.

Pete Best: DIE YOU BACKSTABBING SONS OF #(@*#%@&&$@*#%*@#( @#*(%$@#&@ @*#($@*#(* @#&$*@#^% @*#($&#@*%(* @#(*$@&!!!!!!!!!!

...and that is the end of our cabaret. I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I enjoyed shagging Paul's new wife.

Paul McCartney: Hey!!

Shhh! The pointless cabaret's over. You're not supposed to talk.

Paul McCartney: Oh. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm here to do an album review, and I will get to it ............. now.

With the Beatles are the Fab Four's second album. Their first, of course, was Please, Please Me. Overall, this is a major improvement over their previous album, but not nearly as good as their following album A Hard Day's Night.

Largely, this is a collection of pop tunes with about an equal number of originals and covers. What's weird is that the covers are more famous than the originals!!

Take a looksee at this!

Have you ever heard the tune "Roll Over Beethoven?" Yep! It was what Beethoven's wife used to keep on screaming in bed. And "Money (That's What I Want)?" YEP! Michael Jordan's theme song on all those Hanes commercials. The Beatles originals on here? What's famous? Well... there's "All My Loving," but that one hardly plagues endless, cheesy movie soundtracks.

Not to say that all these tunes aren't excellent! Because they are quite good! The originals AND the covers! (Their last album didn't have quite the good ratio.)

Even Georgie's come up with his very own special composition that he could be proud of! (And it's a GOOD tune!)

And this is even a DIVERSE record! They gots everything! They gots hard rockers, they gots sweet pop ballads, they gots R&B, they gots showtunes, they gots Latin-inspired stuff, they gots yo momma in bed, they gots EVERYTHING!!!!

SO... this is very indicative that the band was improving. Improving their musicianship and their sound. It's a good early Beatles record. (But check out that FOLLOW-UP!)

However, I am hardly enthused about this addition in the Beatles catalogue. While it's very good, it fails to take the chocolate cake. So... overall, it's only for the Beatles enthusiast (which should be everyone)!

Overall album score: 8.5 out of 10 (The Beatles give us a fairly strong collection of songs ... but this is hardly the best of their entire catalogue.)

Song Score Average: 9.0 (Definitely a very nice score. The Beatles will surely reach better heights in later albums, though)

Album Tilt: 8.5 (Hmmm... No. Can't give the album a better score here. This is one of those albums I only find time to listen to once every four months or so. And the songs aren't readily memorable.)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (Gonna have to give them a slightly low score here, too. This is definitely not one of the Fab Four's best ventures. But they were still learning, and this is quite an improvement over their debut album.)

Track Reviews

It Won't Be Long 9/10

The album opens with a pretty catchy pop number that's fairly typical of good early Beatles. It's nothing I'd really want to take home with me, though.

All I've Got to Do 9.5/10

Another excellente pop number. A bit less hard rockin' than the last one, but this one has a better melody. Yep.

All My Lovin' 10/10

Weeeee! Now THIS is the reason to buy this album, and the reason to be an early Beatles fan in the first place. It's perfectly catchy, it's perfectly rockin', and it's ... well ... just great. Your cat will probably enjoy this one. No doubt about that.

Don't Bother Me 9/10

SING IT, BROTHER GEORGE! George Harrison's first tune on a Beatles album is pretty darn good. This one is sort of Latin-inspired and it's a good one to tap yer foot too ... but it still shows George had a long way to go 'fore he would reach "Here Comes the Sun." But, it's still better than what most of the British Invasion had to offer. So.

Little Child 8.5/10

This is a very catchy original number ... a little more derivative of the general 60's music than I really care for, but it's still all good in the neighborhood.

Till There Was You 10/10

Okay. I have a little beef to pick about this song. "The Music Man" (the musical where this song is from) is a movie in which my parents used to watch CONTINUOUSLY UNTIL I GOT BLOODY SICK OF THE THING!!! GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! But that's okay. The musical is still pretty good ... and so is the song. Give me Paul McCartney's voice over Robert Preston's any day. And the relatively minimal instruments kick butt over what I was used to. So, the full 10 goes here. Woowoo!

Please Mr. Postman 10/10

Bloooooody ELL! These guys sure know what to cover! Definitely 50's sounding, but that's okay. Lennon's vocals are darn good here! A pretty good little number here that'll make you want to flex yo boody. Love it!

Roll Over Beethoven 7/10

Not bad. This is material that few bands have the ugly-stick bad enough to mess up this rollickin' Chuck Berry song ... but the Fab Four add nothing to this song that any other band can't. It's seems a little too lethargic for me. Sorry. It's still a good song, though, and the Beatles certainly were being very competent with it.

Hold Me Tight 7/10

Geez! It would really suck if all the Beatles originals are like this! It's still pretty good melody-wise and instrumental-wise ... but it does nothing for me. So.

You've Really Got a Hold on Me 9/10

This is a pretty good cover of a Smokey Robinson tune. It's a slower tune, but it's nicely performed. Not my favorite, but still pretty good.

I Wanna Be Your Man 9/10

Woohooo! SING IT!!!!!! It's a nice quicker song (original, too!) that's not immediately memorable, but it's still pretty nice.

Devil in Her Heart 10/10

Heeeeeeee! Good cover! I think the original was forgotten, too, so kudos to the Beatles for immortalizing it, too! Again ... a nicely-performed pop song.

Not a Second Time 9/10

Geez! It's very difficult to trash a Beatles song! It might just be impossible. While this is still an all-around excellent tune, it's nothing we haven't seen in this album ever since we started listening to it. But it's still quite good!

Money (That's What I Want) 9.5/10

Good! The Beatles make this ultra-famous 50's rocker into a Beatles song! Slightly lethargic ... I mean ... it's still lacking the same energy. But still! Nice!

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