Get Nervous [But Get That Woman Out of Your Bed First]

Overall Album Score: 7.2 out of 10

I hate to say it, but Pat Benatar is slowly dying a miserable death. She's not quite there yet. She's still standing on her two feet, mind you. She still, at least, appears to be going strong. She won't die a quick death. But, she's a-goin' down.

Therefore, I have seen it fit to write a little eulogy for Pat Benatar. I hope you don't find it too emotional.

O, Pat Benatar. Thou hast broken the coronary valves of mine when thou singsts "Heartbreaker" on the airwaves of mine radio. O, Pat Benatar. When thou singsts "Hit Me With Thy Best Shot," it makest me feel as if I really hath been taken thy shot, for I haveth unexplainable bruises. Thou art so sexy that thy was attracted by thy guitarist, whose name reminds mine brainwaveths too much aboutst that insane news guy with the lengthy mustache. Oh, Pat Benatar, who by name is noteth distinguishable from a man or woman, but thou whosts sings with increased skill than both of these genders combineth, when thou hast died, thou still haveth a great voice ... a voice that shall never die as long as I do not goeth deaf.

Thank you. That is all.

I have no idea at this moment just how this album will score compared to her previous Precious Time. There's not a whole lot about both of these albums that are too interesting, and, this album in particular is too far stuck into that dated early 80's style for it to be worth it to today's audiences. Her previous albums have been wallowing more in the hard rock category. Now she's into hard pop.

And it's just boring.

And boring.

And boring.

And then I think I might not be bored.

But then it just gets boring.

And boring.

And boring.

And ... oh. It seems that I have fallen asleep.

Okay. I woke up. Where was I? Oh yeah! After I styled her hair into something that slightly resembled an aardvark, she slapped me on the cheek and then broke up with me. ... Oh wait. What was I doing when I was conscious? Um ...

I might also add that Neil Geraldo doesn't seem to be as utterly impressive as he used to be. That's probably because he got married to Pat! How insane is that, I ask ya? And, you know, it's difficult to play good guitar solos when your woman wants to siiiiiiiing. And sing she does. So, Neil pretty much steps out of the spotlight, although his presence is still prominent here.

At the moment, I might add, this'll be the last Pat Benatar album I'll review. Her studio output beyond this album has not been made available to me! Sorry for my [cheap] incompleteness! (Write a spirited letter to Music Rhapsody.)

Overall Album Score: 7.2 out of 10 (It's not bad. It's not good. It managed to get a slightly better score than her last album. That's cool.)

Average Song Score: 7.6 (Boy ... these are some dull, dull songs! The good hooks, riffs, melodies, etc. are few and far between! However, I could not bring myself to totally hate any of 'em, because they were performed so well.)

Album Tilt: 7.0 (This definitely isn't on my list of favorite pop albums from the 80's ... Pat Benatar and her team manage to produce nothing here that is memorable. Sorry.)

Artist Rating: 7.0 (Oh ... I wrestled with this one. Crap! These guys are great with each of their instruments! I can't get over that. However, for a better artistic rating, I would assume that they would have to give me at least SOMETHING to take away from this album. They give me nothing. Except for perhaps that bizarre album cover.)

Track Reviews

Shadows of the Night 7.5/10

Is this supposed to be a good song? I feel like a lot of good work and effort was put into arranging the thing ... but as I'm listening to the song, I am asking: "Arranging what?" The hooks aren't strong here at all. So it's just a lot of overproduced schlock. It's not remarkable, but it's not boring, either.

Looking For a Stranger 8.5/10

Oh yes! This is 80's! I think I'm going to party with Kevin Bacon until no tomorrow! Ohhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! This isn't a wonderful song, really. The melody is not great ... uh ... but at least it has the spirit of a good 80's pop song. It's the spirit that matters, eh? I kind of like that odd organ-sounding instrument in it, though.

Anxiety (Get Nervous) 8/10

Well ... um ... at least it isn't incredibly boring. It does a fairly commendable job musically conveying its lyrical theme. But, apart from the decent arranging (which, again, is quite nice), the melody still leaves much to be desired. It seems like it was bred to catch fire, but it never does.

Fight it Out 7/10

She still has that incredible screaming-but-singing ability. But the song she's singing doesn't do anything. Geraldo has a slight place to shine on here, but his contribution just doesn't seem to be the same.

The Victim 8/10

It has a slightly convincing set of hooks. (When I was listening to the album, initially, to get the feel of it before diving into this review, I honestly couldn't immediately tell these tracks apart from each other. So I'm listening to this song and saying ... uh ... I'll give it an 8. Maybe. I'm feeling nice.) It's not a special song at all. But at least it's listenable and somewhat entertaining.

Little Too Late 9/10

This is precisely where I think the album won't get boring anymore. This is the album's best set of hooks and, as a result, it's the album's greatest song ... even though it wasn't even marketed as a hit single. Oh well. It's not great, but it is entertaining.

I'll Do It 7.5/10

Uhyuhyuhyuhyuh. It's not bad. It's not great. It's excruciating because it sounds pretty much like every other song on here. I have nothing else to say!

I Want Out 6.5/10

This is very boring! The melody is bad ... the arranging, this time, is very grubby. This one truly borders on boredom. Relatively speaking, this is filler.

Tell it to Her 7/10

When this track starts, I expect the Beatles to chime in and start singing: "YOU GOT TO ADMIT IT'S GETTING BETTA!" ... it's the same riff! The song itself is not related to that Sgt. Pepper classic, anyway. Oh well. This isn't a great song ... nor is the arranging as impressive as it has been. Skillful, surely, but it's totally unremarkable. It's not dreadful, but I have the feeling that these closing songs were hastily done, more or less just so that they could make this into a full album.

Silent Partner 7/10

Oh man ................ I can't trash this track, no matter how much I try. I can't deny that it just exhibits all sorts of talent and still. They knew what they were doing! It's too bad that they couldn't come up with a better tune to work with! That's really my complaint about the whole album. If they had a Paul McCartney, they would be bigger among white people right now more than chicken salad.

Have I done well to soothe Pat Benatar's spirit? Or was I unfair. Put me right here.