Go back to the main Blondie page, you lucky person, you! Spastic Matters Overall Album Score: 8.9 out of 10 This was one wicked burrito of a jump from Blondie in terms of aristic development that it blows everything this group did in their eponymous debut album right out of the water. This album is so much fun and so amazing that, as far as I'm concerned, cements Blondie's reputation as one of the finest rock 'n' roll bands in history even if Parallel Lines never existed. How is this album so great, do you ask? It just is. Do you want me to say why? OK, I will. As mentioned, Blondie had matured quite a deal compared to their eponymous debut album released just a year before. Blondie, while still generally well written and a genuine blast to hear, it was sorta juvenile, sorta sloppy, sorta insignificant...... But this is an album that's just ****AWESOME****! The most notable advancement is the song production and the arrangements. Notable highlights are the fade out in "Fan Mail," the electric organ explosions of "Bermuda Triangle Blues," the intoxicated electric guitar duet in "Presence, Dear," and there are dozens more instances that I would love to point out! The diversity in this album is absolutely staggering, and it's another huge contribution to the enjoyment of this work. There's "Denis," a throwback to '50s love ballads, "Contact Red Square" has a Russian connection, "I'm on E" is surf-rock, "No Imagination" has a classical vibe, "Detroit 442" is nearly heavy metal ... There are no two songs that sound alike. Not even remotely! Furthermore, every single one of these styles produces a *fun* song. Apart from maybe "Cautious Lip" at the end, there's not a dull moment anywhere. Despite the glowing review, I will say that this isn't the perfect album. While the songwriting is universally fantastic, there is a sort of melodic barrier that Blondie needed to pull through to make truly endurable hits. While the ideas in songs like "Contact Red Square" were quirky and fun, the melodies aren't 100 percent ideal. Sure, that's definitely nitpicking and it's not even a concern I want you to have in your mind before you consider listening to this. However, that's the reason why Plastic Letters doesn't quite measure up to classics like Rubber Soul! But seriously, this album is definitely classic, and everyone should hear it. It's smart, fun and worthy of many, many listens. Blondie rules. End of paragraph. Overall Album Score: 8.9 out of 10 (It might not be as unabashedly enjoyable as the previous album, but it's much more developed and interesting. This may not be a perfect album, but that doesn't mean it isn't CLASSIC.) Average Song Score: 8.8 (They're taking their songwriting to heights not previously explored. Furthermore, they did well with every single genre they tackled.) Album Tilt: 9.0 (This album is a blast from beginning to end! The superior diversity is the primary reason for this boost.) Artist Tilt: 9.0 (It's hardly worth complaining about Blondie's "artistic integrity." Though they were just trying to make fun music, they're much more interesting than nearly any other pop band.) Track Reviews Fan Mail 9.5/10 What a neat beginning! It's a bit unexpected that they would start the album off with such a mid-tempoed song instead of something a little more raucous, but --- hey, this is a neat beginning! The first thing that strikes me about this is the production, which is about as good as it gets. Not just are the sounds crystal clear and involved, but they have these "whispy" sound effects during the interlude that were so expertly done! The end features Deborah Harry scream-singing "The bells are ringinnnnnngggg" to a crazy fade-out involving, appropriately, a myriad of bells ringing. What a lovely fade out! These guys just proved to me that they're expert arrangers. ... Through all of this, I forgot to mention the melody. Yeah, it's pretty good! It doesn't contain any especially deadly hooks, but it's all OK by my book. There are some synth and organ passages that are most prone to stick in your mind. Denis 9/10 Their throwback to '50s music proving that they didn't abandon those awesome ideas they had in their debut album. I think you understand that I'm not the biggest fan of the melody, but I'm a much bigger fan of what they do with it. Their production standards continue to be a huge part of this song's enjoyment. The polished, constantly evolving textures and personable gimmicks such as that quirky synthesizer that pops up in the second half, make listening to this such an endless treat!!! Bermuda Triangle Blues (Flight 45) 9.5/10 Wow, they don't even take it easy when they do their ballads. More of that excellent song production is here and stronger than ever. The development is shocking --- sometimes it's unexpectedly touching and other times it's unexpectedly turmulous. The moment right around the 1:47 mark comes off as magical. I'd like to especially point out those excited explosions with the organ was just about the most inspired thing I've ever heard from them! The ending's not so spectacular, but still. Sitting through it is quite an experience!! Youth Nabbed As Sniper 8.5/10 It's funny that I'm giving such an upbeat and thunderous song a lower song score, but ... well this song just doesn't quite get to me like the others. Still, it's more fun than monkeys in a tree!! (And I think we *all* know how fun monkeys in a tree are.) This is their brand of rapidly played surf-rock with their thunderous drums and guitars. The song production continues to be well done not just for producing those slick sounds, but also that wavy synth going off in the background. Contact in Red Square 8.5/10 Wow! Couldn't they play this any faster? Gosh, they sure know how to have fun with this. I'll also tell you what, I'm so close to awarding this track an A-level score. Maybe I should. The earlier review I wrote of this awarded it a higher rating! As you'd probably gather from the song title, they incorporate a very funny Russian-inspired section (fully equipped with uproars of "hey!!") If you must know, the one thing that's holding me back from giving this a higher score is that section around the one minute mark. I definitely value this group's willingness to adopt such crazy development in their compositions, but I think that part was just a tad clumsy... Yeah, I'm nitpicking ... (I'm Always Touched By Your) Presence, Dear 10/10 Well, well well!!! A catchy melody! While I like Blondie's melodies earlier, this is the first one that really jumps out at me. The song production continues to be beautiful! The jangly guitars provide qutie a touching atmosphere even though their upbeat, new wave instrumentation might make you think that aim was disrupted somehow. You have to get a load of that strange guitar duet in the middle of this. It's half-bizarre ... half-inspired. How excellent! I have nothing to complain about this, and I can't do anything else but embrace it fully. These guys are complete masters at their arrangements --- these textures are just marvellous. Most prog bands can't even do that. I'm On E 8.5/10 The melody is less enticing and so is the production. But I have absolutely no justification in complaining! As far as I can tell, this song invented the Go-Go's and that's definitely worth something. It's played with a continued degree of confidence and the speed is just C-R-A-Z-Y. I'm just going to ... go onto the next track ... I Didn't Have the Nerve to Say No 9/10 Geez, they're not letting up, EVER, are they? This is another remarkable and fast-paced new wave song. Again, I absolutely adore their crystal clear arrangements and all of this unbridled spirit. There's all of that plus a tremendously catchy melody! How can you go wrong?? Love at the Pier 8.5/10 Geez, whenever Blondie comes up with an especially good melody, it really jumps out at you. Furthermore, this song has a nice swing to it that I love! Deborah Harry wrote this composition, and it's mostly recommendable thanks to those quirky touches in the instrumentaion. My biggest complaint is the bit toward the end when they slow down the meter, which really destroyed the inertia. But, at least it was great fun till then! No Imagination 9/10 Are they going classical now? You can't claim that Blondie lacks diversity. There's a certain class to their chord progression that along with that piano work toward the beginning was such a nice touch. These guys so could have been a great prog-rock band. ...but they're too cool for that. Give me this song over Styx' "Sailing Away" any. freaking. day. Kidnapper 8/10 Bring in the Elvis stylings!! What did I say about the diversity? Though I'd hate to say that this is easily one of the worst songs of the album. Other than the general novelty of hearing Blondie perform such a song, this one doesn't inspire me particularly. There's no personable quirk in the production other than Harry's particularly convincing "growl" in her vocal performance. Detroit 442 9/10 Geez, here's something. Blondie goes heavy metal! Geez, they were awesome at everything they tried to do weren't they??? Yeah, that's pretty awesome!! These guys sound so freaking menacing here! That instrumentation is so busy and unique, and they create a wild texture that makes this more interesting than many bona fide metal songs. Harry sounds even more "growling" than she did on the previous track. Cool!!! Cautious Lip 8/10 Geez, they sure have a tendency to end their albums on a relatively negative note, don't they? All that said, this song is still generally well done. It's more of a mid-tempo, alarming synth-scape thing. Their attempts to go particualrly "artsy" here don't go overlooked, but they're betraying the one thing that makes them thrive: Sprit. Plus, the melodic themes just aren't interesting whatsoever! That said, I will point out that the synthscape is pretty well done. Also, when they speed up the meter at the end to create some sort of murky mayhem, it's a blast! BONUS TRACKS An early version of "Heart of Glass" comes in the form of "Once I Had a Love (AKA the Disco Song)," and it's much slower. It's an interesting early version that'll ultimately just make you want to listen to the finish version again. "Scenery" was a leftover from their debut album. It has a pretty nice hook although I think they made a good decision in axing it. With a little more production, though, this really could have turned into something spectacular! As it stands, though, it makes a good listen. Musically speaking, it's just a regular, mid-tempoed rock-pop song. "Poet's Problem" was a B-side to "Presence, Dear," and it's quite good! It's a little sloppier than the album tracks, but that OK with me. It begins with some piano, and Harry starts to sing a sweet song of sorts. That drum is going all over the place doing whatever it wants along with most of the other instruments. Relatively speaking the band seem sort of half-conscious through the whole thing, but that's forgivable 'cos you'd kind of be worn out if you just came up with an album like Plastic Letters. "Detroit 442 (live)" Usually live versions in bonus tracks are just messes, but this is supposed to be a mess, so it's therefore kinda cool. You can't hear Deborah Harry too well over those noisy guitars, but that's OK. It's a glorious mess! Is this review better than a future in plastics? No? Yes? No? Possibly? Leave your comments here

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