David Bowie: Where Are His Ears?

Overall Album Score: 7.7 out of 10

(I finally re-wrote this ... This was the first album I ever reviewed and I unfairly trashed it, giving it a 3.0 out of 10, thinking that I would be a much crankier critic than I turned out to be. Don't think twice about it, though. My Madonna and Kiss reviews will remain right where they are!)

It's the first David Bowie album, and ... what's with those curly sideburns that he has? And why does he look a lot like my roommate from college? ... Isn't this a little bit weird?

Anyway, this early Bowie stuff is hardly what we know and love about the man who would emerge as a superstar in the early '70s, but it's all perfectly nice. My favorite song is undoubtedly "Rubber Band," which is such a fun little piece that's inspired by and old Victorian brass band.

"Love You Till Tuesday" is the only song on here that could conceivably have been considered a hit. It was released as a single, but ... it didn't really take off. This is a perfectly delightful song even though it sounds dreadfully dated to current ears.

Some of the album's weakest tracks include the horribly uninspired "Come and Buy My Toys," which features a dismal melody and Bowie trying a bit too hard to sound Dylan-esque. The final two tracks aren't too great, either. "Maid on Bond Street" is pretty sloppy and uninspired. The final track "Please Mr. Gravedigger" might be the album's most 'innovative' track because it just features Bowie singing amongst sound effects, but ... who the hell wants to listen to Bowie sing, essentially, a cappella? ... Um ... yeah ...

He's not off to the greatest of starts, but this is an enjoyable album altogether. There's enough stuff to make a Bowie completist happy. However, Bowie completists really shouldn't buy this album ... get the "Deram Anthology" instead, which not only has these tracks in it, but some really fantastic songs also.

Overall Album Score: 7.7 out of 10 (Yup. Bowie was around in 1967 and he was making music. This stuff, while mostly delightful, isn't *nearly* as inspired as a lot of his later work.)

Average Song Score: 8.0 (I like the quirkiness of these tracks and some of the melodies really are fantastic.)

Album Tilt: 7.5 (I rise issue with the final two tracks, which are a weak conclusion. Also, I don't like the lack of focus exhibited here. It seems like I read somewhere that this album is really just a compilation, and that might explain it.)

Artist Tilt: 7.5 (This stuff is just too derivative. You could argue that Bowie's entire career is like that, but ... this is bordering on "unforgivably derivative.")

Track Reviews

Uncle Arthur 9/10

This David Bowie feller is pretty funny. This is an amusing little character sketch with a catchy tune and a fun vocal performance from Bowie. It's definitive of the whole music hall scene that comes complete with a horn section and a nice old rhythm section for good measure.

Sell Me a Coat 8/10

Hey guess what this song is about. Go ahead. I dare you. It’s about somebody wanting somebody else to sell them a coat because they’re cold! Oh, and how '60s this song sounds! ... Man, who really knew David was around in the '60s, anyway? ... Well, nobody really doubted that Bowie just followed the trends during his entire career, and this song really is no exception. He can be quite innovative at times, but this is far from it. It has a good melody, but ... mhmhmhmmhmhmmmhhmhmhm. This is hardly anything essential.

Rubber Band 10/10

What’s this? Is this a marvellously catchy tune that I hear? Ooo! Turn up the volume. Well, this is quite obviously my favorite track in here. I like this one not only because of the marvellously catchy tune, but also Bowie's very humorous pseudo-dramatic vocal performance. The instrumentation prominently features a tuba and is very Victorian. ... How delightful.

Love You Till Tuesday 9.5/10

This is another very '60s pop song. (You know ... think Petula Clark's "Downtown.") The tune is very catchy, though. This one might not even be too innovative, but it's quite enjoyable. The lyrics are pretty entertaining, too. They're very '60s!!! The instrumentation features appropriate synth violins and a cheesy old xylophone. It's very dated but enjoyable.

There Is A Happy Land 8.5/10

You know, Bowie was always a compelling lyricist. A song that starts out "This is a happy land where only children live" would probably be unbearably cheesy if it were being sung by an artist other than Bowie. But these lyrics are pretty interesting. Transparent. But it's fun to listen to. Speaking of the music (which is what I *normally* talk about in these blasted track reviews). Bowie really caught another catchy melody with this one. The entire song isn't as compelling as songs such as "Love You Till Tuesday," but this is still rather pleasant.

We Are Hungry Men 8/10

Bowie's got the whole novelty thing going here, as this song starts out with a crazed news reporter reading a news report about how the world is going to overpopulate. This song features some pretty interesting instrumentation that doesn't sound extremely dated here. This is a more 'hard edged' song, but this unmistakably remains pop. Anyway, this is quite interesting. That was always one of Bowie's strong points.

When I Live My Dream 7/10

Bowie loses me a bit here. The melody is kind of nice, but it's not nice enough. And Bowie's decision to utilize '60s-style fruity instrumentation catches up with him in this track. It's pleasant, but it's sort of difficult to sit through. The melody has a a few hooks in it, but this is derivitive to the highest order.

Come and Buy My Toys 6/10

OK, firstly, I think Bowie's trying a bit too hard to be Bob Dylan or something. He doesn't quite try to imitate the voice like he would on his follow-up album, Space Oddity on "God Knows I'm Good," but ... this folky thing doesn't really work for me. It's boring and there aren't any compelling hooks. Oh well.

Join the Gang 8/10

This song is pretty well orchestrated for not having a big-named producer such as Tony Visconti at the helm of it all. There's this strange sitar at the beginning of it. It's not used any differently than any other instrument would be used, but ... it was a rather creative decision. There's a lot of creativity in here. ... Gosh, you'd have to put me at gunpoint to admit that Bowie wasn't creative or something. The actual song isn't very hooky, unfortunately, but it's fun. Quite fun indeed.

She’s Got Medals 8/10

This is a very fun little song! It copies the Kinks, but ... the Kinks rule, so why not copy the Kinks? The melody is fun, the song is upbeat and the instrumentation (featuring some horns) are enjoyable. It's far from being the best track on here, but ... it works. It's nice. Hooray.

Maid of Bond Street 7/10

This is song is done in 3/4 time and ... um ... I don't really care a whole lot for this one. The melody is pretty good, though, and has a *few* hooks in it. I'm not too thrilled about the instrumentation this time. It's just not too inspired, and it comes off as being overbearing and too busy.

Please Mr. Gravedigger 7/10

Alright, we all know Bowie's voice, and we all know it's probably not in the guy's best interest to sing anything that might even remotely be a cappella. This song features sound effects such as a church bell and rain ... and Bowie sings stuff without instrumentals. ... iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ... The idea is kind of amusing, and the sneeze he takes in the middle of this is smile-inducing. It's a rather weak ending for the album, though.

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