Earfings

Overall Album Score: 5.8 out of 10

Unlike Outside, this is an album that I feel justified for having skipped as a Bowie fan. Bowie forgoes doing another album with Eno-atmospherics and post-grunge, and he turns to the Nine Inch Nails for inspiration. Typically, when Bowie had tried some new style, he makes good with it ... but not here. He goes forth with the 'jungle' type music with gusto, but he forgets how to write a good melody.

Melody is all this album is lacking. If there were better melody, then this would have been another good Bowie transformation. But, Bowie doesn't put up the goods, so how on Earth am I supposed to enjoy this?

I say: let's forget this album and move on!! David Bowie will do that himself ... I always thought the guy was wise. If a seemingly interesting form of music fails to inspire him, he knows that it's time to get on with other things. He's the rock-and-roll chameleon!

And he does just that ...... in 1999 with Hours, the beginning of the Bowie comeback. Hurrah!

Overall Album Score: 5.8 out of 10 (A vastly disappointing effort from David Bowie. He gives Trent Reznor's style a try and forgets how to write a good melody.)

Average Song Score: 6.4 (Not impressive whatsoever. There's one good song, but that's it.)

Album Tilt: 5.5 (Another serious misstep in David Bowie's career ... perhaps, even, the biggest misstep.)

Artist Rating: 5.5 (A tiny bit of credit goes to Ziggy Stardust for the change of form and the continued willingness to try something new. But he sort of forgot his mission as an artist, again.)

Track Reviews

Little Wonder 7/10

This is hard ole' 90s death metal stuff done with a level of accessibility that it could only be done by David Bowie. The melody isn't very catchy and the song isn't particularly entertaining ... Indeed, I don't want to call this song very good, but it's listenable, certainly.

Looking For Satellites 7/10

Eek. I really don't like this song, either, even though I guess the simple chord changes in this keep it interesting. ... I really think this was misfired. There's not much of a melody here. I don't even like the awesome electric guitar solo. What's wrong with me?

Battle for Britain (The Letter) 5/10

Oh my gosh!!! I can't believe how stupid and simple this melody is. And those hard electric guitars going off do not impress us and neither does that dumb-butt insane piano. This is a stupid song that I hate.

Seven Years in Tibet 6/10

I saw that movie! It had Brad Pittbull in it, and ... he went to Tibet! And spent seven years there! Hurrah! ... Dangit. I hate the Nine Inch Freaking Nails. Of all the crap David Bowie coulda been doing, why imitate the Nine Inch FREAKING Nails? Those guys are stupid dorks!!!!!!! ... Okay, maybe they're not all that bad. This song is as asinine as the stars. The beat is dumb, the atmosphere sucks, the song is way too long, and the melody is nothing.

Dead Man Walking 7.5/10

For some reason, I don't hate this song. In fact, I think that I like it overall! ... I enjoy some of the instrumentation. I actually like the beat. And, I think the melody is not all-too-doo doo. It's no Bowie classic, certainly, but it's no Bowie stinker, either. Points get counted off for its insane 7-minute running length, though.

Telling Lies 6/10

Dangit, Bowie! How did you ever forget how to write good melodies??? ... Eh, I suppose his songwriting innovations have been at a standstill for awhile. This is another totally unimpressive song with a dumb beat and an asinine melody.

The Last Thing You Should Do 5/10

The last thing you should have done was imitate the stupid Nine Inch Freaking Nail Bastards.

I'm Afraid of Americans 9.5/10

Really, this is the only good thing to have come out of David Bowie's flirtation with this headache-inducing, 'jungle' style of rock music. The electronic groove is kind of neat, the hard-NIN-ish instrumentation is actually good this time, and the melody is pretty solid. The only real song in this heap! A hit! Too bad the rest of this freaking album couldn't have been like this.

Law (Earthlings on Fire) 5/10

Only peasants can be on fire! ....................... Excuse me! (Hey, look, David Bowie. I don't want knowledge, either. That's why I never study for tests or anything in college!) Another really stupid song, but since it's the last stupid song of the stupid album, I feel like being a little bit nice to it. I don't hate my life when listening to it.

If you're an Earthling, then you're automatically qualified to send me your thoughts about this album here!