Bladder Linth

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10

Special Labyrinthic Note: I'm pretty sure I was the first person in the so-called "Web Reviewing Community" to review this album. I'm not bragging, but I do find it completely interesting that, among the four or so reviews posted since, I am the only one who even *vaguely* expressed a like for this album! ... I mean, seriously, folks, it ain't that bad! ... Okay, granted I'm a David Bowie fan, but ... NONE OF YOU EVEN MENTION ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER WRITTEN in a movie co-starring Jennifer Connelly ("As the World Falls Down"). I'm thinking I'm the deliberate subject of a scientific experiment ...

Perhaps one of the more prominently well-known fantasy films from the 80s decade is "Labyrinth," even though it didn't perform phenomenally enough at the box office to be called a huge success.

From what I understand, the film's creators wanted to cast a rock star in the role as the head villain ... they came up with a pool of potential candidates, and for some reason, they chose David Bowie for the part. (I personally think that they made a great decision! Who else would look actually cool in that ridiculous costume with the fluffy mullet?)

As a part of the "deal" or whatever, Bowie also wrote the songs for it. Fortunately for them, the songs were pretty darn good (...I'm biased, I guess, but film critic Roger Ebert said they were "fine"...) The reason the film failed was largely because it had a confused and complicated plot! ... Alright, so the plot is confused and complicated, or whatever (even though I didn't particularly think so) ... therefore the second aspect of the film that you could enjoy is the muuuuuzak!

And, that's what we are going to talk about today! I really go into better detail about this in the track reviews, but I'll sort of touch upon the highlights up here. By and far, the album's masterpiece is David Bowie's disjointed love anthem "As the World Falls Down." Even when you compare it to David's own career, it's something that should be considered within the man's elite. Another track that makes a strong showing is the soulful "Underground" ... and me liking this one is even more amazing, because I haven't been known to enjoy songs that have these "rousing" soulful choruses.

There are also some merely-adequate tracks on here that pretty much fail because it just sounds so gawshdurn cheesy!! "Magic Dance" and "Chilly Down" are exactly what I'm thinking of.

There weren't enough Bowie songs to fill an entire album with (and probably why this album isn't officially included in the David Bowie discography) and so the rest of this soundtrack is filled with a bunch of instrumental tracks. Most of these are perfectly fine, but there are a few that I don't like. (And pretty much all of these instrumentals have the same theme to them.) Actually, there are only four distinguished David Bowie songs on here ... Nevertheless, I'm putting this album on David Bowie's page because ... dang it! ... this is where it should go! I like Labyrinth and it's yet another piece of the Bowie-legacy for his rabid fans to enjoy!

I don't think I need to say it, but this soundtrack is strictly for Bowie fans and/or fans of the movie. The rest of (you) don't have any reason to put this in our CD players.

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10 (There are plenty of fun and enchanting moments in this soundtrack to make it a very decent listen!)

Average Song Score: 8.2 (This is a soundtrack full of entertaining songs ... a few of them are more entertaining than others, most namely "As the World Falls Down" kicks all buttocks.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (This doesn't always strike me as a soundtrack that really should be listened to outside the context of the movie, but it actually works perfectly well.)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (This isn't an artistic feat at all, but I guess the abum turned out pretty good on the artistic scale.)

Track Reviews

Opening Titles Including Underground 8.5/10

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIt's the opening credits!!!! Yay! ... And the track begins with typical fantasy, science fiction opening credits! And then, after a while, the all-wonderful vocals of David Bowie chime in. The tune he sings is quite tuneful and ... ya know ... it's fun to listen to ... and stuff. Then the opening credit music chimes in and gives us some of that nice, mystic and calm mood music ... or whatever. This is a very pleasant track.

Into the Labyrinth 7/10

As far as actually putting it into the soundtrack, this track was probably necessary ... but it's not exactly fun to listen to just to listen to it! You need the movie! It's not bad, I suppose ... but, ya know, it's got a fairly typical 80s sounding rhythm section ... It lacks much of a melody but ... eh whatever.

Magic Dance 7.5/10

Oh man!!!! This song is so ridiculous! (It's humorous watching David Bowie dancing with this one in the movie amidst Muppets ... I'm sorry!) The thing I really hate about this song are those stupid voices! And I'm not talking about Bowie ... I'm talking about the Muppet voices and, most prominently, the really fake-sounding baby noises! Ewww! Other than that, the tune catchy, but kinda cheesy 80s sounding. Yep. ...Oh I like it. Dance, magic, dance. (Would somebody tell me if this has the same lyrics as an old jazz song? It seems like I heard a jazz song on a movie or something that had the exact same lyrics ... or it could have been this really weird dream I had once.)

Sarah 8/10

Well, at least this is a very fine 'n' pleasant, mystical sounding instrumental. It's an instrumental that you might actually want to listen to outside of the film. Whattaya think about that?!

Chilly Down 7.5/10

Um.................... I'm not wild about this sort of ska track! Although, I do have to give it credit for having a few good hooks in it, and I think bits of the arranging were clever. The lyrics are pretty funny, as well. I just think that it is overall a bit too overbearingly cheesy. Er ... well ... I guess that it's okay! I can enjoy it.

Hallucination 7.5/10

The first minute of this instrumental is utterly melodiless ... and then we finally get a melody that is listenable. But, the themes this track samples from were from the opening titles and the following track...

As the World Falls Down 10plus/10

And any bits of mediocrity in the instrumentals (and the songs) are hereby forgotten with the addition of this track, which can be dubbed as yet another utterly transfixing song in the David Bowie catalogue. (And, this song, while I don't remember it being particularly connected with the rest of the movie in any meaningful way, it was the most bizarrely enchanting and memorable scene from the film. It contains David Bowie, the Goblin King, dancing in a strange ballroom with a young and always hot Jennifer Connelly.) If this song were the only end product of the movie Labyrinth, then the whole effort was worth it! ...The same thing goes for David Bowie staying in the music biz through the 80s.

The Goblin Battle 6.5/10

This instrumental is pretty unrelenting 80s pop ... um, I guess I can dig it! It has a pretty nice groove to it. But altogether, it's pretty feeble.

Within You 8.5/10

This one is sung by David ... and it's quite entertaining. He doesn't actually do much singing, rather we get these pretty nice 'n' enchanting instrumentals. David just chimes in every once in a while and gives us some light soul-y stuff.

Thirteen O'Clock 8/10

Dude! Thirteen O'Clock?! ... Oh wait, there was something weird about 13 o'clock in that movie, wasn't there! Yeah. This instrumental is supposed to sound pretty creepy while revisiting the same theme as the opening titles ... again. Oh well. It's pretty good. I suppose. I guess it's easy for Trevor Jones being a soundtrack composer ... ya only have to come up with one melody and stick with it! (...Eh he does a pretty good job with it all! I'm not dogging on Trevor Jones!)

Home at Last 8.5/10

It's the same theme again and it also revisits "As the World Falls Down." It's very pleasant and quiet ... and I guess you could do worse than to revisit those two songs! Much worse!

Underground 9.5/10

This is the same song David Bowie was singing during the opening titles, except this one is more long drawn out, and it is giving a more concluding, happy atmosphere. The melody is pretty catchy. The instrumentation almost sounds a little bit seasick, if you will ... but that's not a bad thing, ya know. David gives a pretty good performance here.

Seriously. Get off your big butt and leave me some comments here. ... Like, NOW!

rave_dave_2@hotmail.com (i luv david) received Oct. 2, 2004

how fit is bowie in labyrinth!

mullet to the max or wot!

and his apendage in those leggins! is it jst me ladies???

Don Ignacio responds: I might add that my appendage looks pretty good in leggins.

josy_sim@yahoo.co.uk (Goblin Queen) received Nov. 29, 2004

I met the puppeteers last year! They rock and David Bowie is soooo fit. I mean how many men can make a mullet and leggings look good...answer not many!

And that voice wow....makes me melt!

Don Ignacio responds: I'm a looker in leggins, too! Why doesn't anyone believe me?