Never Let Me Down (But David Bowie Might)

Overall Album Score: 6.8 out of 10

We're still smack dab middle into David Bowie's famed songwriting slump! And this album isn't that bad! (It's still pretty bad though for David Bowie ... It got a 6.8 ... that's *pritty* bad.)

If you are a David Bowie fan, and you have not been buying this album because it gets bad reviews, then stop doing that and get this album! You will probably find out, above all else, that you actually enjoy this and there was no reason for you to delay listening to it. You see ... for us David Bowie fans, and there are many ... I think you'll find that this is one of his more underrated albums.

First of all, this has a sheer Bowie-keeper on here, the title track, which is probably the most overlooked Bowie song eveeerrrr. Then, it also has the tuneful and enjoyable "Time Will Crawl," the entirely decent album opener "Day-In Day-Out" as well as the fine "Beat of Your Drum." "Zeroes" is another very enjoyable song in here. Especially for the Bowie fan, these ought to be plenty enough to whet your whistle. I truly do find this album more enjoyable than even Young Americans ... even though that album had two of Bowie's most significant songs on it.

Truly, the only reason Never Let Me Down is erroneously considered the worst Bowie album is because of the production. This is an 80s album! It comes fully equipped with loud monotonous drumbeats, the songs are basically cold and emotionless ... and those of you who are a-tuned to "80s-flashback-itis" will definitely want to skip this. Plus, this album is sometimes scorned even by David's own fans (of the jerkhead variety)! This is probably the least Bowie-like of all his albums, even compared to Tonight. Where are all the soaring, brilliant sci-fi songs? What's with all that loud monotonous 80s crap? I don't know!!

Nevertheless, Bowie fans shouldn't hate this album! (Of course, if you're not a Bowie fan, then you probably shouldn't get this.) It's certainly not up to Bowie's own par, but it doesn't suck as much as people might have you believe.

Overall Album Score: 6.8 out of 10 (This is an insignificant improvement over Tonight. There are two songs on Tonight that I wouldn't trade for anything from Never Let Me Down, but Never Let Me Down has a vast supply of mediocre/enjoyable songs.)

Average Song Score: 7.3 (It's a better song score than I might have expected. These songs aren't universally awful, you know. There are some strong ones as well as what should be considered a David Bowie classic.)

Album Tilt: 6.5 (Well ... Sitting through this album really isn't that fun. Unfortunately, the sheer merit of that title track isn't enough to make up for it.)

Artist Rating: 6.5 (I'm not going to do it, but David Bowie really ought to be commended for experimenting throughout this album ... some of these "experimental pieces" are decent. But most of them flop.)

Track Reviews

Day-In Day-Out 8/10

The music video of this song is awful. But I suppose this song is all right. Unfortunately, this is just one mammoth typical 80s pop song with a loud monotonous beat. Just the same, I'd say that is enjoyable just because it was produced rather well. It also has a lot of energy ... so you'll probably never grow bored with it. The melody is fine ... it's just not up to Bowie's usual charm and sweeping, crooning quality. But, again, this wasn't a bad effort ... but this is totally non-Bowie! I want more "Loving the Alien!!!"

Time Will Crawl 9/10

This one is still 80s pop, except it's more adult contemporary sounding. (Ehhhh... David doing adult contemporary?) But the melody is good. The production is splendid. And, the song is enjoyable. And, and, what the heck? I even like it!

Beat of Your Drum 8/10

HOLY CRAP! I used to really hate this album. (I've owned this album for probably a year and a half ... so my relationship to this is much different than most other albums on this site that I'd simply listen to a few times several days before I review it.) But, as I'm approaching this in music-critic fashion, I'm finding out that Never Let Me Down really isn't all that bad. This song, while it's not particularly strong or memorable, has really nice production, a good melody ... it even manages to create its own bit of spark. Another fine song. For 80s Bowie.

Never Let Me Down 10/10

Now, I've always liked this song. The melody is utterly catchy (and it's allegedly taken from a John Lennon song ... I wouldn't know if this is a fact firsthand, however). But it's verrrrrrrry nice ... and this is probably the most overlooked song in the entire Bowie discography. It also sports probably what's the most pleasant vocal performance of his entire career. (Isn't that just pleasant???) Ooooohhh ... Even though the 80s decade is pretty much notorious over Bowie's serious fans, you'll have to put forth a really strong argument in order to disprove that this isn't yet another whopper that he could put in his fairly-impressive string of 80s pop singles.

Zeroes 8.5/10

This is another one that I really like. (I don't like too many other songs from this album ... so please don't e-mail me comments about how stupid I am for liking this "slump" record too much.) It's overblown, SURE, but that's the point of it! Just hear those cretinous goblin-fan screams in the background! That stupid announcer spouting off unintelligible words at the beginning of this ... and, to top it off, it has a wonderfully catchy melody and a good riff! I like this! I like this! I like this!

Glass Spider 4/10

*OUCH!* The beginning of this one actually starts off very promising. David reads this funny little passage about Glass Spiders doing ... whatever Glass Spiders might do. The creepy background music as he reads this passage is pretty good as well. But when the actual song starts up, it takes a huge nosedive. It's an amazingly hookless mess with *gasp* a misfired production! Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Poor, poor David. You stink.

Shining Star (Makin' My Love) 6/10

Maybe if he were to have worked on developing this song a little bit more, it might have been absolutely delightful! This is a starkly experimental song (that still sounds 80s ... but it's experimental)! The rhythm section of this song is the experimental, entertaining bit. The actual song, though, is as hookless as a baby's bottom. And it really gets on my nerves.

New York's In Love 7.5/10

I remember hating this song, too, but I must have grown to like it ... mostly. Much of this song has a pretty catchy melody, it has that slick 80s production (the term being used in the nicest possible sense), and it's interesting enough to keep my attention throughout the whole thing. I do get tired of it during the final third ... but that's no reason to spit venom at it.

'87 and Cry 5/10

Ooooooooooooofff! This song *does* have some merit ... but not enough for me to actually like it. The production of this was too good for this to be called particularly "banal" ... but it is rather excruciating to have to sit through. GRURURURGGGFARRRF!!!

Bang Bang 7/10

This is still rather dull ... but it's kinda *snappy* at least. You might like this depending on what sort of mood you're in. After listening to some of these drecky songs, you're probably not in a good one! But, really, "Bang Bang" isn't a bad one. Hmm.

(P.S. If you're intent on buying this album, I'd sniff down a version with the song "Too Dizzy" in it ... That's a pretty good song, too, and I'm not sure why it's not in all the versions.)

Never let me down! Leave your comments about this album here!