Young Americans Are All Jerkweeds

Overall Album Score: 6.4 out of 10

I do NOT like this album at all, even though I still regard David Bowie as one of my pop-music heroes. However, it's not his worst. If I am to compare albums, I find this much more interesting than The Man Who Sold the World. Most of the songs on Young Americans are very boring ... but every song on The Man Who Sold the World was boring 'xcept for "A Man Who Sold the World." And, this album has at least two interesting songs on it. Therefore, this album is David Bowie's second worst album of the 70's. Blalalalhlhlhlhhlaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Though... for an album containing such utter classics as "Young Americans" and his first #1 hit "Fame" ..................... Wait? Did you say this was his second worst [studio] album of the 70's??? You bet!

This is the moment of Bowie's career when he decided to shed himself entirely of his Ziggy Stardust persona and attempt to dazzle us with some SOUL music. Well... even though I admire the CRAP out of his music, only about three of his songs ever messed with my soul, and none of them, oddly enough, are on here! David Bowie should NOT write soul music (as he found out rather quickly after releasing this album). This was one of the most (if not the most) significant missteps in David's career. (And... most people at the time seemed to think Diamond Dogs was the last they'd ever see of Bowie being any good (no suprise there), but he rebounded SIGNIFICANTLY the next year with one of his greatest albums Station to Station, which does actually have strong elements of R&B soul in it.)

Okay... David Bowie is not a good singer. Everybody knows that. Though, David is usually able to make his voice adapt somewhat to his music. Apart from a precious few tracks here, he doesn't do that. And, he didn't seem to have spent too much time trying to develop many of these songs. I think he gave up on the album (which accounts for the out-of-place Beatles cover on here).

I read through one of David Bowie's interviews once upon a time, which dated from right after this album was released, and the reporter actually thought this album was a JOKE! I'm not surprised! And, David Bowie sounded very offended by that!

All of that said, I've come to realize that part of the reason I dislike this album is because everything pales EXTREMELY in comparison with "Young Americans" and "Fame." So... I'd skip all the other tracks. When I forced myself to listen to it, I discovered that there is nothing phenomenal about the rest of the songs, but not all of them are throwaways like I was so inclined into thinking. There are some halfway decent moments in here.

I mean... I bought this album, and I don't think my money was wasted.

Some of youse might be interested to know that David Sanborn plays the saxophone on here. (In spite of the fact that David Bowie's been playing the saxophone since he was a kid.) And, he's one of the few album's TROO assets. David also uses a backing chorus of African-American-sounding vocals. They usually sound rather ridiculous.

Overall Album Score: 6.4 (BorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrING. This album would have REALLY sucked if it weren't for the pure excellence of the first and last tracks. Everything else, save a few moments, is utter hooey. The album, as a whole, is one of Bowie's worst moments in his career.)

Average Song Score: 7.1 (This score is very low, saved from utter oblivion by two excellent tracks. The rest of these songs are among the most boring that Bowie ever recorded.)

Album Tilt: 6.0 (Mmmm... I considered, briefly, giving it a 6.5 because I DO listen to the album for those two tracks. But I usually skip through everything else ... even if I'm dead-determined that I'll listen to them once more and see if there's anything still to get out of it.)

Artist Tilt: 6.0 (I sparred Bowie a 5.5 in this category because he did, after all, try something drastically new.)

Track Reviews

Young Americans 10/10

Oh come on! This is an ULTIMATE Bowie classic! In fact, if you don't like this song, then don't talk to me! I mean ... I haven't listened to any Blue-Eyed soul albums besides this one, and I doubt this song is topped very frequently. Bowie's performance is actually very good, and the instrumentation is simply wonderful. This is more of a "soul" song than "Fame" is, so this is Bowie's best attempt at the style. (It does takes some lyrics from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band ... not exactly sure what the method was there.)

Win 4/10

Booooooooo! After "Young Americans," I think this song sucks! Already, we can tell that from the very uninspiring opening sequence involving a very slow and boring echoey horns. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Listening to the rest of the song isn't much easier. (I do sense a little bit of a melody from from "Be My Wife" of Low on here.)

Fascination 7/10

This one inspires one to do a little butt-wiggling ... the melody is a little bit more interesting ... Bowie's performance and the instrumentation isn't too wonderful. It should have been cut down by 2 minutes at least.

Right 6/10

His titles are even becoming not-creative! Bliiiiiimey! Well... at least it has a little bit of groove to it. The riff is good, but I strongly doubt that it's original. (I don't care! It's groovy!) In spite of that, the song is uninspired! Totally! I'm listening to it now... I'm bored, but I still feel it's totally deserving of that six.

Somebody Up There Likes Me 5/10

Too long. It's six-and-a-half minutes, and it's not too interesting to begin with. Though, the sax and some different elements of the intro are pretty good. The rest of the song is, essentially bootay and borING

Across the Universe 7.5/10

Well! David butchers a Beatles classic! What's more... John Lennon is here HIMSELF playing the guitar and singing background vocals. Question 1: Why did he endorse it? Question 2: What the friggy diggy is this doing on a "soul" album? I guess this song and "Fame" were allegedly recorded (and conceived of) at the last minute! And they both turned out to be among the album's best. This track, the third best, and "Fame" the best! On the positive side, David Bowie does a dynamic interpretation of this song that was originally quiet and reserved. And ... even though David Bowie butchered it ... he didn't REALLY butcher it. I mean ... is that melody classic or is it classic? If you have even an ounce of talent, it's impossible to totally butcher this song if you tried.

Can You Hear Me 6.5/10

Mmmmm... It's still quite boring, but I appreciate the more symphonic turn it takes. Ahh... who wants to listen to this track? Let's skip it!

Fame 10plus/10

This song kicks MAJOR ass! Not only is this one of Bowie's finest artistic songs, it's his first to hit #1 on the charts. (He repeated hitting #1 again with "Let's Dance" in 1983.) The riff was actually derived from guitarist Carlos Alomar (who ripped it off by somebody from the 60's) and John Lennon also did a little bit to it. So... Bowie had a lot of help with this one, and it turned out to be awesome. Whatta nice closer to this otherwise dead-dull album!

Ironically, an ACTUAL person who is ACTUALLY good at singing soul music crap (James Brown) stole this song! It's an amazingly shameless rip-off that's entitled: "Hot (I Need to Be Loved, Loved, Loved)." I mean ... he practically just ripped the singing from that funky backing and starting singing some stupid words to it. Of course, James Brown credited the song entirely to himself. I find it hard to believe that any respected artist would do that! Anyway, James Brown's version of it sucked, so David & Company didn't have to sue.

Bonus tracks:

They suck! I finally located a Bowie album with bonus tracks on them and they suck! They are more boring plastic-soul stuff. The only one remotely any good is "John I'm Only Dancing Again," which is a disco-version of "John I'm Only Dancing." It was a fine song just as it stood. This version is WAY TOO LONG, anyway. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Do you Young Americans like this review? Or, should I be deported? Leave your comments here, jerkweed.