461 Ocean Cinema

Overall Album Score: 8.4 out of 10

So, if he shot the sheriff ... then why didn't he shoot the deputy? ... Um ... What's the freaking deal with this song anyway? A reggae cover into a rock song? ... It'll never work.

Well, the good news is that Eric Clapton stopped doing all those drugs long enough to work on another studio album. (The last thing he released was in 1971 when he briefly changed his name to Derek and gave the name "The Dominoes" to his toenail clippings.) It's 1974 ... and ... A NEW ALBUM!!!!

But where's the guitar? ... I mean, there's guitar on all of these songs, but not a lot of it. Kinda like Eric Clapton before it, this is a very underwhelming album with nada butt-whomping guitar solo on it. ... And, what's the point, really? Aren't guitar solos totally what we paid for? What's all this lightweight funk-pop, country-pop, reggae-pop, folk-pop, rock-pop? ... ERIC CLAPTON ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A POP STAR! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

Except I'd imagine that everybody wants this album to hear Eric Clapton's rendition of "I Shot the Sheriff" just so they can make up their own interpretations of why he didn't go ahead and shoot the deputy. (I mean ... was he standing behind a trashcan? Did he miss? Did he just not feel like it? ...... The world will never know.) At any rate, that's a good song, and probably the best one in here. I also enjoyed the folk-esque "Let it Grow."

The best part about 461 Ocean Boulevard despite its shortcomings, at least it's consistent. There's nothing in here that bombs in the slightest. All quite nice. ... There's also no great songs in here, either. ... I mean ... Is "I Shot the Sheriff" as performed by Eric Clapton really a great song? ...... Think about it for an hour and get back with me.

Overall Album Score: 8.4 out of 10 (Eric Clapton's second solo album isn't very guitar heavy, either! The material is fine; it's just ... weak.)

Average Song Score: 8.6 (The songs are consistently good.)

Album Tilt: 8.5 (It fails to become a *great* album just because the material is kinda weak. But, this album is remarkably consistent! There's only like a 1.5-point range here when I scored the songs ... which is weird ...)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (I'm not impressed with this album much on the artistic front. There's nothing inherently special about this album ... or much that would make me want to listen to it again. There's not even any great guitar solos!)

Track Reviews

Motherless Children 8.5/10

Yay!!! ... Clapton gives us a fairly guitar-heavy song whose beat goes chuggachuggachugga (what with that drum and all). It's an entertaining song to listen to and not a bad idea for an album-opener (you see, it would seem a song like this ought to get us in the *mood*). It's good 70s pop! ... It's not great mind you, but ... it's pretty good.

Give Me Strength 8/10

A very quiet and very low key (and rather short) gospel song. Not horrible, you know. Um ... the only reason this is memorable is because it comes after "Motherless Children," and it's difficult to dismiss this song. ... So I won't! There's very little guitar in here. What happened to "the greatest freaking guitarist in the world?"

Willie and the Hand Jive 8/10

A very restrained, mid-tempoed song. It seems like it should have more energy than it does! A quiet and lazy vocal performance from Clapton amidst a pretty nice guitar groove. There's no electric guitar solos in here either! What's the buzz?

Get Ready 8.5/10

COME ON, MAN!!! YOU'RE THE ROCK 'N' ROLL DEMIGOD!!!! WHY DON'T YOU FREAKING ROCK OUT A LITTLE BIT????? ... What's with all this quiet and restrained stuff? ... What the dilly, yo? ... The good news is that the song is pretty good regardless of the fact that it's too quiet. Again, the funky guitar groove is pretty good, and I enjoy the vocals in it.

I Shot the Sheriff 9.5/10

It rocks out more here, but ... it's still pretty dang reserved! (Or do I just need to turn the volume of my speakers up ... Nah, that didn't work!) I really enjoy the groove here ... and the melody is pretty freaking catchy and stuff. ... There's some quiet, crunchy guitar in this, too ... though not exactly to Clapton's standard. ... He's doing it on purpose because he hates me. I know it!

I Can't Hold Out 8/10

Another light'n'smooth groovy thing ... Clapton certainly does a good job making the groove ... and not necessarily a great job at MAKING ME LIKE THIS!!!! ... Certainly it's mildly enjoyable, and it does have some guitar lickin'!

Please Be With Me 9/10

A very pleasant and laid back country tune. ... Not bad at all, I say! It's pleasant, low key, and this time, it's not even frustrating that there isn't anything *awesome* in here! It's a nice song, peoples.

Let it Grow 9.5/10

YAY!!!! It's still reserved and quiet and stuff, but this is a great song, anyway! It's more of a folky-type song (but with fairly lush instrumentation ... for a folky song). Nice arrangements with this one. The melody is pretty good, too. Thee cheers for this song! Hooray! Hooray!! ... hooray.

Steady Rollin' Man 8/10

SING IT, ERIC!!! SING IT!!!! This is a pretty groovin' old song from Eric "I Was in More Bands Than Anyone I Know and it's only 1974" Clapton. ... It doesn't excite me much, but it's fun to listen to.

Mainline Florida 8.5/10

Do the mainline! Do the MAAAAAINLIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEE!!!! This song is pretty goofy if you ask me. It's nothing that I can ever in a million-point-eight centuries get very excited over, but ... I enjoy it. And the semi-goofiness is a total plus. That's a principle that I also oftentimes employ in these album reviews. FWAAAHH!!!

Be the coolest person in the world and send me a comment agreeing with my opinions here!

geosochi@yahoo.com (George) received July 15, 2005

I mostly agree with your reactions to the tunes here.... Would you say Eric's version of "I Shot the Sheriff" is superior to Marley's original?

I don't know if you've heard the original "Willie and the Hand Jive" by Johnny Otis, but it's an absolute killer classic tune!! I first heard it in "Shawshank Redemption".... and actually been digging it for a while before I found out/realized what it was really about, masturbation. How silly is that! Apparently EC's version is rather unmemorable since I can't remember what it's like now. Anyway, my fav track on this album is "Let It Grow"... what a wonderfully understated and beautiful melody....

I share your frustration with the lack of guitar here.... EC pretty much stopped playing with the passion he used to have after his brief drug-rehab retirement around 1972, seems to me he really mellowed after that... and that didn't reflect very well on most of his subsequent music...