There's [A Ninja Assassin] in Every Crowd

Overall Album Score: 7.7 out of 10

Riding "high" on this comeback Clapton had with 4613131223 Ocean Boulevard, he tries it AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Except this time, it's not nearly as fresh or exciting. ... And it's not like 4619293 Ocean Boulevard was the greatest rock album since the dawn of civilization, anyway.

It just all seems so very weak an unexciting ... although, if you pay close enough attention to the songs, there's certain bits of things to pick up ... namely whenever Eric Clapton decides TO ACTUALLY PLAY HIS GUITAR!!! Really, this album is enjoyable enough if you're just looking for something to pass the day by. But ... is this something appropriate for a guitar god? ... ARE GUITAR GODS REALLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE ALBUMS FULL OF LETHARGIC POP SONGS???? ... dudes ... Eric's been doing this to us in every single solo studio release I've freaking heard. ... It's not like I'm actually surprised or anything.

Perhaps the single most song in here that is most frequently discussed is the cover of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." ... Yeah, not exactly what you'd expect a white British guy to want to do! Furthermore, the instrumentation is so CHEESY on it! ... But *hangs head down low* there is a certain special ambiance about the song. ... I will never *look* at that old spiritual the same way ever since listening to this version, and that's in a good way.

Nevertheless, most of the songs in here (and the aforementioned ones included), this album really isn't very great. Most of them rely on this rather hollow and repetitive "groove." Many of them simply going "chugga-chugga-chugga" throughout the entire thing and never relenting. Of course, listening to this is nice enough (specifically on "Singin' the Blues," where it's at least *danceable*, but when Clapton doesn't seem to be taking his role very seriously as "head of the album," I can't very much be expected to take this too seriously.

Overall Album Score: 7.7 out of 10 (This is a more restrained version of 461 Ocean Boulevard ... unfortunately.)

Average Song Score: 8.1 (The SONGSSSSSS!!! They're a little bit weak here for Eric, but ... they're all listenable.)

Album Tilt: 7.5 (It gets tiresome to listen to at times. ... Although, it's entirely inoffensive. Nevertheless, it doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of substance in here.)

Artist Rating: 7.5 (Geezzzzzzzz... Guitar god could have at least given his album a little more, I don't know, GUITAR! We don't pay Clapton for this half-witted doodie!)

Track Reviews

We've Been Told (Jesus Coming Soon) 8.5/10

A pretty good gospel song ... I don't freaking even know why Eric Clapton has such an obsession with gospel music! I mean, did a roadside evangelist once save his life? ... I don't know! The melody repeats itself, but it's like a well-oiled piece of machinery. It starts chugging along, and there's never any flaws.

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot 8.5/10

The closest song this reminds me of is Klaus Nomi's cover of "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead," except it's not as funny! The instrumentation is uncharacteristically cheesy for Eric Clapton ... but ... it's a much better pop rendition of that old gospel song than you might think. Despite the 'cheesiness' of it, the singers really do a fine job with it. It sounds all close and intimate and stuff.

Little Rachel 8/10

Bwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ... Um, I don't have anything against this song. It's another one of those chugga-chugga-chugga songs ... it just keeps chugging along. Clapton does a sort of restrained, but awesome electric guitar noodling! Woo!

Don't Blame Me 7/10

...Reggaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Didn't I ever tell you, Eric Clapton, that reggae music is SUCK??????? It's difficult to get into this song, even though it still has that chugga-chugga-chugga feel, reggae style.

The Sky is Coming 7.5/10

The slow bluuuuuesssssss???? ... BAH!!! ... Um ... it lacks any sort of SOUL, but it's listenable. That's for sure! And there's still no great electric guitar on here. I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ERIC CLAPTON!!!!

Singin' the Blues 9/10

Well, at least he picks up the rhythm here! It's rather danceable this time! YAY!!!!! ... And Eric shows us some pretty fancy guitar work on here ... what's not to like about this song, I asks you? ... So what if there's no grand soul in this or that it's particularly memorable? It's enjoyable at the moment and that's all I care about ... at this moment.

Better Make it Through the Day 8.5/10

I lovely and thoughtful song, really. It reminds me of The Band music from their heyday. I find it a tad bit boring, though, and it doesn't manage to "tap into my soul," or anything like that. Clapton gives a nice guitar solo in here, too, and that never goes unnoticed!

Pretty Blue Eyes 8/10

I like this song! It might seem utterly lackadaisical, but it's more reminiscent of those Layla songs than anything! ... Okay, it doesn't quite *kick*, but ... hey! It's bluesy and it's guitar oriented! What else do you want? ... Well, I'd imagine that you want music that *rocks*, but ... quit complainin'.

High 8/10

It's an interesting song! It certainly does *pretend* to rock ... and the song is listenable because of that ... but it doesn't make me *believe* the rock! ... It sounds a bit unnatural and awkward when it gets to the slower interlude in the middle of this song, though! There's guitar busting at the seams of this song, but it's rather difficult to get into this.

Opposites 8/10

It starts with a pretty good electric guitar intro EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S BEING PLAYED BY SOME OLD GRAND PA!!!!!!!!! The melody is too simple ... if there were a couple more hooks in the melody and it were given more of a backbone in the instrumentation (and if it were played faster), this would have been a surefire classic! ... I will grant it that the instrumental interlude in the middle of this song is pleasant! It's so pleasant that it makes me want to garden! ... *WEEEDS HERE I COMEEEEEEE*

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