Don't play in the cold! Click inside this link and get warm by the fire... Pair of Chutes Overall Album Score: 8.8 out of 10 Nobody is hotter right now than Coldplay. Nobody. Neil Young. Elton John. Bing Crosby. Weird Al Yankovic. Sting. John Quincy Adams. They're all NOBODIES these days compared to Coldplay. And why is this, may I ask? ... I don't know! There certainly exists better or as-good artists these days who are doing the exact same thing as Coldplay. And it's not like Coldplay is totally original, either, 'cos this sounds a lot like good old Radiohead. You know ... It's not a whole lot different. Well, I know why these guys have achieved popularity while so many other like-artists don't? Is it because Coldplay has better melodies? NO! These songs aren't much in terms of melody. ... It's got to be the production ... the practically flawless production. We saw the same thing with R.E.M.'s ever-popular Automatic For the People ... The melodies on that album wasn't the best, but the production was so well done that I guess people saw fit to do nothing else but love it to pieces. That's the Coldplay story. And, if I may say so, it's a rather unfortunate story! They're taking these albums very seriously ... and ... well, we know what happened to Brian Wilson ... but then again, he was a little bit mental to begin with ... Overall Album Score: 8.8 out of 10 (A distinguished effort from these Brits ... The dreariness in the album sometimes get the better of them and this really isn't an altogether fun album to listen to, but they know their moods and they nail 'em.) Average Song Score: 8.9 (Good songs from start to finish. They're all kinda dreary and drugged-up, but ... that's the popular sound these days ...) Album Tilt: 8.5 (Difficult to sit through if you're paying close attention to it, but this is an overall fine album, and it's consistent.) Artist Rating: 9.0 (Very very well done on the song-production effort. Catchier melodies might have been in order, but ... perhaps that would have taken away from that melancholic atmosphere.) Track Reviews Don't Panic 10/10 A very succinct and a verrrrrrrry pleasant little pop tune that only the nineties and naughties can produce. The tune is very catchy and the instrumentation is properly dreary and drugged-up. ... Yes ... Quite a nice album opener!! Shiver 8.5/10 Longer this time (nearly 5 minutes). And, what people seem to be saying about Coldplay is evidently true ... this is a very delicate and perfectly-polished little drugged-up pop song. My only beef is the lack of hooks in the melody! That's a rather huge flaw, but this thing is still quite enjoyable to listen to. Spies 8.5/10 The first minute and a half of this is minimal (mostly just an acoustic guitar and some boring singing) and then it picks up ... I guess the problem with this song is that it took two minutes to convince me that the song wasn't boring. But the final three minutes of the song is VERYYY nice, indeed, with a decent melody and even better song-production. Sparks 8.5/10 This isn't particularly less-boring than the first two minutes of "Spies" and it doesn't get to that EXCITING part, but I like this song anyway. It's delicate!!! And it's melodic!!! And, it's also kind of touching and introspective and stuff! Can't be bad ... can't be bad ... Yellow 10/10 Oh, now this is what *I* call a delicious little naughties pop song! The melody is very good and the song production is just AMAZINGGGGGGGG. It gets to you ... This song sounds both happy and sad at the same time. Emotion is just dribbling off this thing ... I guess that's what attracts people to Coldplay to begin with ... This is, indeed, a very nice song. Trouble 9.5/10 ...This song still has that ATMOSPHERE to it!! And this chorus is really quite awesome. The melody is fairly memorable, and ... hey! I like this song, too!!! Parachutes 4/5 Dudes ... this song is *really* boring! ... But it's only like 46 seconds long ... So it doesn't waste your time ... ohhh, dear. High Speed 8.5/10 The song production on this one (and all the other songs on this freaking album for that matter) is too dang good for me to ever dislike *any* of these songs ... and that's in spite of the fact that this comes across as rather boring!! ... That song production makes me like it in spite of the dang-dull melody. We Never Change 8/10 More boring and more dreary than the other ones ... the song production and stuff is too wonderful on here to ignore, however! Quite excellent! ... Though, I can't say this is any better than the other songs on here ... just too dreary. Everything's Not Lost 9/10 This is sortuvan epic closer. It's more than 7 frikin' minutes long and it's pretty good. ... I mean, it's still pretty boring and stuff, but this song succeeds because of its rollercoaster of emotions! One moment it's slow and it gradually turns exciting, then slow again. And then it stops entirely and starts going again. ... This album-closer be pretty good. I'm sure nobody ever heard this album and so nobody's qualified to send me comments about it here!

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He smells of roses and things.