She Actually Blinded Me With That Ampersand

Overall Album Score: 9.6 out of 10

You know, it's always nice to run across albums like this ... albums that are so unique in artistic style AND FREAKING AWESOME TO LISTEN TO just for good measure. Brian Eno and his pop albums have always done this. But Before & After Science he seems to have finally perfected this art.

As you might already know, Eno'd just gotten finished sharing his myriad of musical ideas with the coolest person on the planet Earth (David Bowie) ... And I guess the sheer coolness of that guy must have rubbed off on Eno (and some of the cocaine, too, maybe) and ... Eno is the best he's ever been here! ... Not that I want to credit Eno's further ascent into awesomeness to David Bowie (...I would want to do something like that, wouldn't I...), but ... ENO IS MORE AWESOME HERE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE!!!!!!! ... Just note.... this album received a higher score than any of his collaborations with David Bowie. But don't look at the points. Just see that all these albums are AWESOME and you need to own ALL OF THEM!!!!!! Heroes, Low, and Before & After Science should be in your collection and listened-to on a frequent basis. You stupid people never listen to me, though, do you? ... Go and freaking listen to your old stupid Kiss records. See if I care. Coke-heads. (Really, you shouldn't drink too much of that stuff. It'll make you fat.)

I'm going to listen to Eno, though. Brian Eno ... without Bowie ... is still cool! His utter awesomeness reeks through into every single one of these tracks. As it was in Taking Tiger Mountain and Here Come the Warm Jets, even if he has a lesser melody, he makes it AWESOME with some weird instrumentals. But this time, Eno came up with more than his fair share of GREAT melodies! Just take a listen to "Backwater" and "Here He Comes" for example. Aren't those GREAT melodies? ... Yeah! ... And the REAAAALLLLLLLL corker is "King's Lead Hat," which is the dance song that I never expected Brian Eno to pen. Noooo, it's not "Jive Talkin'" ... it's this wild and wonderful electronic boogie thing that really makes me want to get up and start dancing up a storm. I don't do that, of course, because I'm lazy and fat (read: Coke-head), but if I weren't then ... whoah ... you'd better watch out, ladies! ... There are still a few slow/dreary/ambient songs on here. Not as much as there were on Another Green World. ... The ones that are on here (notably, "Through Hollow Lands") sure do make a presence.

In conclusion, this is yet another album for you to buy for your collection. Are you writing this down? Dang it, pay attention!!

Overall Album Score: 9.6 out of 10 (Amazing!!! This is a weird, delightful and moving album all at once! ... It even has a place in the middle of it where you can get up and start dancing! How can you go wrong???)

Average Song Score: 9.4 (There's alotta amazing stuff on here, I tell ya!)

Album Tilt: 9.5 (A great album! It's full of everything from pop to moody ambient to the most awesomest dance song you'll ever hear, maybe.)

Artist Rating: 10 (This guy continues to amaze, artistically speaking. He's obviously influenced EVERYONE in the synth-pop genre, so you'd better just SHUT UP.)

Track Reviews

No One Receiving 9/10

Wonderful and weird, just like these Brian Eno "pop" albums are supposed to be like! It even has a nice groove for me to rock to! ... Oh yes ... a nice groove ... Mmmmmm ... And all those weird Eno touches (you know, the blips and the weird synths) are awesomely present.

Backwater 10/10

Wow! What a melody! ... I mean, this is still Eno's typical robotic thing, but ... wow ... good melody! It's catchy and totally synth-pop ... preceding.

Kurt's Rejoinder 9/10

...That's a word that I never knew existed before... I'll certainly be using that more in sentences and everyday conversation now. And so what in Kurt's name do you suppose is with this song? Is this Eno's attempt at doing an electronic version of a campfire song and something ... with all the jammin' on pots and pans and stuff in tact? ... I love this song, of course! It's another unusual ditty that should make Kurt's happiness-level increase to enormous heights! (The chant during the last 30 seconds of this song are so weird that it's great!!) What's my rejoinder? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE BE BRIAN ENO??? There wouldn't be war and everyone would be Anglo-Saxon.

Energy Fools the Magician 8.5/10

I thought the whole bloody reason to cut another solo album was to get away from David Bowie! ... This is an instrumental, but does it get even close to those AWESOME-BUTT instrumentals on Heroes??????? Well, yes. But this isn't quite as amazing to listen to. ...

King's Lead Hat 10plus/10

FONIOIRONIGNFKNEOIMIEMFLDKNGLKENI!!!!!! ... I love this song! This is such a weird, drugged up robotic dance song that I ..................... I really feel like getting off my butt and jumping up and down in my room to the beat! And there are few things that make me want to start jumping up and down, much less get off my ass. This song is great. Pure, grade-A, 100% greatness in less than 4 minutes. .... Nothing was even this awesome in Heroes ... well, there was that title track, but these songs are AWESOME in completely different ways. Think "Secret Life of Arabia" except awesomer.

Here He Comes 10/10

Another absolute STUNNERRRRR in that old Eno way! This is a smoother (not danceable) song that has just an excellent melody! ... This is probably even one of Eno's best melodies ... And those lyrics are great, too! Parfait!!

Julie With ... 9/10

Julie With ... Hedgehogs? ... Uhhhh ... This is a weird, slow and loooooonggggg drawwwn ouuuuttttttttt electronic epic of a song! The tone of the song, however, is peaceful yet restless. It's a good song, certainly! One of the few of its kind. (And anyone else trying a song like this would just be boring.)

By This River 8/10

This is kinda like "Julie With..." except more boring. It's long drawn out and ... yeah ... It's pretty, but it's not too exciting. And it's not particularly colorful, either.

Through Hollow Lands 9.5/10

Well, this is a slow and looooonggggg drawn out instrumental, but this one is colorful! ... It gives me a distinct feeling when listening to it! ... Much like the last half of Heroes and stuff! FLROPEPORINGMMGGG!!!!!

Spider and I 9.5/10

This song is all creepy and stuff ... those weird, horrible (and satisfying) synths just give me all sorts of the creepssssss. I like the melody, too, but what's this? The last song of the album??? WHY?!??!?!???!??!? I was having so much fun with it!!!! ... I could listen to it over again, I guess, but I can't review it like this anymore!!!! ... Oh, crap! Ummm. Well, to the last song of Before & After Science, what do I have to say to thee? ... Uhhh ... Good luck! Have a nice life!

Some'a'buddy whassa thinkin' 'bout e'mailin' theirr'r'r comment's aboutenzenablumzen here!