We Can't Prance
Overall Album Score: 7.6 out of 10 And here is the only reason that the majority of my peers have even heard of Genesis! I talked with a few people about the subject over the course of the past year, and according to them, the title track on this album is Genesis's defining moment. Although, many of these same people never realized that Peter Gabriel was in the band ... but that was way back in the 70s! 10 years before we were even born. Of course, I can't blame them for liking this album a lot. We Can't Dance was released in 1991 when my particular age group first started listening to the pop radio. And, since We Can't Dance isn't a bad album, it was all right for them to latch onto it like they did back then. And now it's got some sort of nostalgic value. But I must insist that they also put on some Selling England By the Pound! (I don't think any of them do, but ... whatever.) The big hit from the album, "I Can't Dance," is a fine pop number. The song is catchy ... it was probably among the pop highlights of 1991. "Jesus He Knows Me" was another hit. "Hold On My Heart" was, yet, ANOTHER hit. ... To top of the hit-list was "No Son of Mine." ... HOLY CRAP! THIS ALBUM WAS POPULAR!!!!!! Even though it had been a five year time period since Genesis had released their previous album, Invisible Touch, the album sold well only because that bald freak (Phil Collins) had become such a monumental pop star. And when Phil Speaks, the world buys his albums. He's the Alan Greenspan of the 80s!!!!!! ... and the early 90s. I guess We Can't Dance is a 90s album. Okay, I think we all know that this is an adult contemporary album. Just know that before getting into it! What you might not know is that this album is 71 MINUTES LONG!!!! That's long. Albums shouldn't be 71 minutes long. Especially if the music was written by a bald freak. Oh! And this is the last that we'll ever see of Genesis, unless you count that one 1997 album that Tony Banks and Michael Rutherford released that's called Calling All Stations. Genesis wasn't great when Peter Gabriel left, but now that Phil Collins left, well, ............... well ......................................... Overall Album Score: 7.6 out of 10 (I would have hoped that Genesis would have left the music world with something slightly more memorable than this ... but then again, this band hadn't released an album that was TRULY memorable ever since The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway.) Average Song Score: 7.9 (In spite of my complete sarcasm during the track reviews, I think this is a solid set of tunes. Even the non-hits are listenable ... even though a few of them might be difficult to have to sit through.) Album Tilt: 7.5 (This is adult contemporary that isn't offensive-to-the-ears. That is a quality that is not common enough.) Artist Rating: 7.5 (We Can't Dance isn't particularly artistic, but it is fairly consistent ... Although it is much more effective as background music than if you plan on actually sitting down and listening to the whole thing.) Track Reviews No Son of Mine 9.5/10 TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!!!! (Does anyone else hear clocks? I don't have a clock in my room other than some digital one. And that one doesn't make noises. Usually.) Oh! Wait! I know what it is! I'm reviewing We Can't Dance by Genesis. I knew that there must have been some reason why I have my word processor program opened and am typing words on it under a heading called "No Son of Mine." Oh! And this is a song, too! Yes ... so let me tell you about it. It starts out with tick-tocking ... That's funny, I don't have a clock in my room other than some digital... Sorry! I tend to drift off sometimes. I'm ready to get down to business now. This is a pretty good radio-bred pop song. It's enjoyable ... produced very well (IT'S PHIL COLLINS) ... and the melody is pretty catchy. Yes, listening to this, I don't feel so rabidly vile toward adult contemporary. Michael Bolton on the other hand ... Even the 6:39 minute running time isn't much of a burden for ya. It's pleasant. Pleasant, light pop. Jesus He Knows Me 9.5/10 I do see completely why this song was so bloody popular. It's a tight, catchy song with wonderful arranging and instrumentation. It has several different parts to it, keeping it from becoming monotonous or uncreative or anything. This song is memorable ... pop-fantastic ... um ... Phil Collins sings it. We dew like Phil Collins showing off his vocals, right? Driving the Last Spike 7/10 First of all, I would like to quote something from amazon.com by Genesis fan Henrik Eriksen who says this song is his favorite Genesis song that was ever written. "REALLY POWERFULL AND EMOTIONAL MASTERPIEACE!" (Sorry ... I thought that was funny ... the way that "masterpiece" is misspelled and, to top that off, in all caps ... yeah ... I shouldn't make fun of random people who I never met.) I won't deny that "Driving the Last Spike" has appeal to it. It's verrrrrrrrry long, clocking in at 10:26 minutes. And, I can enjoy it as long as I'm not paying too close attention to it. If not, my attention tends to wander away ... from it ... anyway ... ... I Can't Dance 10/10 *Wakes up* Oh yeah! I remember! I'm listening to a Genesis album, aren't I? And ... cool! ... this is a good pop song! It's a pure pop song, too, and the fact that it's also good ought to be a noteworthy aspect. I really like that gruff guitar. The melody is catchy. Yeah. You've probably heard this song enough, so ... I'm just going to move on ... Never a Time 7.5/10 Oh! I can go back to sleep now it looks like. This is just run-of-the-mill adult contemporary stuff. Although, Phil Collins is a pretty skilled guy when it comes to garbage, so I find that I can enjoy "Never a Time" amidst my sleeping. ... I snore, too, so I only can hear about half of it. Dreaming While You Sleep 7.5/10 ... Dreaming while you sleep is a rather common practice so I've heard ... And I'm dreaming something right now as I'm snoozing through We Can't Dance by Genesis! I see ... a computer monitor. And I feel ... a keyboard. And I am ... typing on this keyboard. And I'm typing ... this. Wait. I'm going to wake up for a moment to write something about this song. It's not too interesting. I like that xylophone thing. That's okay. But ... this isn't very interesting, though it's still fairly decent. It makes good background music ... or in my case snooze music. And, Phil Collins and Genesis sure give us a right decent snooze! 7:17 minutes worth of snooze music! Tell Me Why 7.5/10 *Wakes up for a moment* COOL KEYBOARD INTRO NOTES!!!! *goes back to sleep*. Other than that, this is just another solid-as-a-rock but unexciting adult contemporary thing. I'm having a great nap, by the way. I was having a dream about Phil Collins and he was flipping off Bambi and he picked up Thumper by his ears. Living Forever 7/10 Dude! I think you might have to *live forever* if you plan on sitting through this entire album without croaking. Isn't this thing over with yet? ... I only have four other songs left, but one of them is another 10-minute one. *goes back to sleep* ... Phil!! Would you please stop doing that to Thumper!!!! This is another adult contemporary song. Even though I'm sleeping through it, I have to give this one a mere 7 because it's lesser than all those 7.5 songs up there. Although that synth passage in here does remind me of the glory Prog-rock days of Genesis' past. All in all, though, the melody's simply not that good. I think I'm going into a deeper sleep. Hold On My Heart 7.5/10 Boy ... I must be a Phil Collins fan or something, but I don't find this track awful at all. Yes, this is even more sweet and more adult-contemporary than the other songs on here ... but, dang it, it doesn't offend my ears (like Michael Bolton)! Yes, it needed to be more exciting ... and it needed better hooks ... but it's not bad. Oh. And I'm still sleeping. Way of the World 8/10 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... There's no reason for me to wake up here. Although, I like the fact that it has louder drums. That at least *threatens* to wake me up from this peaceful slumber. The melody is also fairly catchy ... but it's not very remarkable. *Phew* only two more tracks to go ... and that will probably be at the end of my life. Since I Lost You 7/10 ...You lost me back at "Driving the Last Spike" SUCKA!!!!! I'm sleeping. Still. I'm getting very rested. This song is pleasant, but I don't really like it. I don't care, though ... I'm sleeping, remember? Fading Lights 6.5/10 This is the ultimate Genesis song! "Fading Lights!!!" That's what Genesis was at this point ... fading lights!!!!!!!!!!!! And Phil Collins had a fading scalp!!!!!!!! Anyway, this is the *last* song by pop-trio Genesis and it's, um, 10 minutes long and really quite boring. It's so incredibly slow that it'll probably put you to sleep ... but since I'm already asleep, it doesn't really matter. Farewell, trio Genesis! HELLO DUO GENESIS who only released one album in 1998 and the public had to suffer the consequences... To commemorate the passing of Trio-era Genesis (1978 - 1991), I have written a little poem. Hark, thee trio!
And the voice of Golden
See ... I'm a poet and I've never even taken a lesson! I must be one of those closet intellectuals. Don Ignacio wants YOU to leave your completely SPLENDID comments here. |
All reviews are copyrighted by Michael "HolaPola" Lawrence.
