Cars of Malaysia

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10

To everyone who thought I was the Anti-Christ for my rant about CCM music on that Mae review, I’m here to redeem myself. Or rather, CCM is here to redeem itself. (Seriously, I don’t consciously control my opinions … CCM music is boring and generally unambitious due to its nature … not because I said it. I’m not God. I haven’t said "Let Christian Rock music suck" and therefore it sucked. And I’m also not the Anti-Christ … or, I hope not.)

Anyway, Jars of Clay’s eponymous debut album still fits with most things I said bad about CCM music in that Mae review. It’s primary aim is not for the art, but it’s to make music that kids will like … and if kids will like them, then they will become interested in the religion and … it will all come to a neat end. (Or not.) Also, another aim of theirs is to make God-aimed lyrics. Lyrics are never a good reason to make music (well, Bob Dylan’s an exception … but for pop people, lyrics shouldn’t be the primary aim … melody should be).

But, at least Jars of Clay isn’t totally annoying. And they are more ambitious than my archetypal CCM artist that I characterized in that Mae review. And the only real reason I say that is because the instrumentation isn’t stupid (apart from the drum machines, but I’ll get to that later). Although, the only thing that really jumps out at me is their intriguing use of Gregorian chant noises in "Liquid." The following songs are mostly peppered with wisely-used violin tracks. They reach the apex with that on "Boy on a String," which is unquestionably my favorite track on here (those violins go all over the place on that one)!

Unfortunately, Jars of Clay also felt the need to back these tracks with annoying adult-contemporary-ish drum machines. Booooooo!!! They work well on some of the songs, but others would have either been better with a different drum loop, real drums, or without drums at all. This abuse of drum loops really ruined this album … even though it’s still pretty nice.

They’re also not very gifted at melody-writing. Most of these melodies are rather stale and in some cases, it’s amazing that many of these songs continue to thrive in Christian youth conferences. … Well, I suppose if there’s no Christian Elton John out there willing to give up a few melodies to the market, then … this’ll have to do.

The fact that "Flood" became a hit on here (even among mainstream audiences) is something that baffles me. That’s among the worst things in here!!!!!!!!! Compared with all the other tracks on here, the instrumentation is pedestrian, the melody usually consists of singing the exact same note 30 times in a row, and … that’s seriously not a good song. (And … again, just because I don’t like "Flood" doesn’t mean I’m the devil or anything.)

At any rate, this is an example of good Christian Contemporary music. It’s unfortunate that it couldn’t have been better, though, because … well … it could have been better.

Overall Album Score: 8.0 out of 10 (This is a fairly strong score even though I don’t usually like the melodies and the drum loops seemed to be out to hurt my brain.)

Average Song Score: 8.1 (Competent pop music that could have been better.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (Doesn’t make a bad listen overall … There’s a few below-average tracks in here, but there isn’t any real stinkers.)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (LAY … OFF … THE … DRUM … LOOPS. But the good use of violins and stuff kept this score from reaching a 7.5.)

Track Reviews

Liquid 9/10

It’s an adult contemporary song (sort of like R.E.M. in Automatic for the People) except the drums are more adult contemporary-ish and the melody isn’t that hooky. However, what pushes this one over the edge is the use of Gregorian chants sporadically through this … it proves that even though this band’s primary purpose was to become popular among youth-types, they’re willing to do unique things, too. … And, even though the beat is very adult contemporary, I kinda like it. Good album-starter.

Sinking 8.5/10

The melody is decent (though very 90s-sounding) … and so is the adult contemporary beat. The faint cricket noise made the nice touch. The generic 90s adult contemporary beat is kind of enjoyable, too. There’s a creepy instrumental interlude in here (which is a nice touch, really). No, this isn’t a bad song, either. Mayhaps there is something to this CCM garbage -- I mean music. (…I shouldn’t make fun of CCM … I’ll lose all my friends.)

Love Song for a Savior 8/10

This is certainly a pleasant song. The melody and beat, again, are rather pedestrian and there isn’t really anything in the rest of the song to really redeem it. I think this song might have been more touching if they would have axed that percussion track (which is probably a drum machine, anyway). Anyway …

Like a Child 7.5/10

This song really is boring … which is odd, because I know I’ve sung this in worship services. … Anyway, the melody is really rather annoying. (Is that what makes this song so nice to sing? It’s annoying?). That drum machine really shouldn’t have been there. Bluguggug!

Art in Me 6/10

My theory is that they originally had a loud adult-contemporary drum track backing up this song, but they took it away because they figured out that it made the song really suck. The melody is a hookless desert (hooks are kind of important if you’re making pop music) … there’s little else to redeem it after that. The instrumentation or singing isn’t emotional or anything. So … bluh. (I’m not the Anti-Christ … I just want to reiterate that.)

He 8.5/10

Is this song about my favorite element of the periodic table? No. 2, himself? … um … no. The good thing about this song is that it isn’t annoying. In fact, it’s so not annoying that it’s … kinda bewildering. The melody really isn’t that good, and it utilizes that blasted drum machine again, but … it sounds much more genuine and sincere than "Art in Me." So … that’s always nice.

Boy on a String 9.5/10

This song would have been much better if they would have used a real drummer! But this song is pretty much fantastic anyway. The violin tracks were done really well (…crap, I don’t know the terminology, but those violins are doing all sorts of crazy things we see in classical music concerts…). And those compliment the already fairly strong melody nicely. So … yeah … good song.

Flood 7/10

This is the famous song from the album! But, seriously. Why is this the famous song? This is no better than America’s "Horse With No Name" and it has a worse melody. (And singing the exact same note three dozen times in the chorus doesn’t constitute a melody.) There’s a violin interlude in the middle of this, but it’s so dang pedestrian compared to "Boy on a String." … No wonder heathens don’t understand Christians … seriously … This song probably marks the beginning of the whole Red State/Blue State divide! (…okay, I’m joking there, but … you never know…)

Worlds Apart 7.5/10

Pretty good … it’s really boring, though, if you’re not paying attention to lyrics. (…Again, if you concentrate on lyrics in a song, then you’re not going to gain an audience … from me, anyway …) And … yeah, it’s boring. Sorry.

Blind 9/10

A verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry low-key and quiet song (that sounds rather Beatles-esque). There are NO drum-machine stupid-loops here, and it actually concentrates on creating an intriguing and immersing atmosphere. They’re not concentrating on the lyrics, they’re going with the instrumentation. And even though there aren’t that many vocal hooks in here, it doesn’t need them because they have the atmosphere. Now, this is a principle that’ll make you awesome. Use it. Amen.

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