Such an Egg

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10

Let's give Jars of Clay credit for something. They axed the annoying drum loops. Places in this album where I expect they used drum loops, they don't OVERUSE them. Another point to their credit is that they don't have anything as asinine as "Flood" in here. (Seriously, people, that song is idiotic ... get over it. I reiterate to all you 13-year-old Christians out there: Just because I think "Flood" is stupid doesn't mean I'm the anti-Christ. I'm just a Christian with better taste than you!)

Arrogant remarks aside, this is a perfectly nice, straightforward album.

The problem is that this just isn't very exciting. Whereas drum loops spoiled Jars of Clay's debut, the songs were still usually exciting. These songs are all intelligent and well-thought-out, but ... they put me to sleep. Granted, I really enjoyed the most overlong and boring on in here. "Frail" has a nice, calm orchestral quality about it. Lyrics aside, it is the only truly "for God" song they made so far. It's a good song to space out and meditate God with.

I do still have a problem with the lead singer. He's just not expressive whatsoever. You know ... there's no personality. That only adds to the fact that this album is FRIKIN BORING. Anyway, I do have respect for this band, but they sure could use a little bit of umph. You know ... get some of the rockin's out. We're still in the rock age. Might as well use that to your advantage, peeps.

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10 (Compared to their debut album, this is much more boring, but at least they axed those infernal drum loops.)

Average Song Score: 8.2 (Songs nice, pleasant ... boring, but still nice.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (Such a consistent album ... all very slow and never getting really exciting.)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (They're intelligent people. They're not very talented, but they create some nice music.)

Track Reviews

Overjoyed 8.5/10

This isn't a bad way to open an album. It's pleasant and tuneful rocker based mostly on an acoustic guitar. It switches dynamics throughout the song while still sounding pretty much sterile! The song comes with several different melodies, which is nice. ... Look, I wish this song was more exciting, too, but when it comes to this type of rock (CHRISTIAN ROCK), you've got to take all you can get. This is a far cry from equalling the opening number of their eponymous debut album.

Fade to Grey 7.5/10

This is a pretty interesting song, though. The melody doesn't wow me at all (and they use a drum loop, but it's not annoying like it was on their debut album). A part in the beginning of the song is overtaken with violins, which turned out pretty nice. ... I wish the melody were catchier, though. That's the one thing this song's missing.

Tea and Sympathy 9/10

This one's pretty good, I say. The melody's catchier than normal (which means that this is still miles away from Paul McCartney, but ... most things are). The song starts up with some acoustic guitar strumming and some thoughtful singing. I'm not extremely excited about this song, but it's nice. All nice. Nice songs deserve a 9.

Crazy Times 8.5/10

This one's a well-constructed song. The melody isn't compelling or anything, but it's well done overall. The song is structured in the solid verses-chorus-interlude method, which proves that Jars of Clay might have been far from being geniuses, but at least they're smart. And this is smart music.

Frail 9.5/10

This is BY FAR my favorite track on here. Jars of Clay's laid back and unconfrontational style reaps all the benefits with "Frail," which is an extremely lengthy and slow orchestral piece. The violins subtly go in and out of the piece making this track something you can close your eyes to and meditate to God with. I again wish to critise the melody for not being catchy, but ... I'm going to say that about all these songs and I'm repeating myself. Anyway, this one was extremely well-done and thoughtful.

Five Candles (You Were There) 9/10

Well, at least this song is all happy and upbeat. This is also probably the most famous song, because ... I swear, I've heard this before. (You know, Jars of Clay aren't very memorable.) The melody still isn't that great, but this is better than average on this album. The instrumentation is all slick, polished and intelligent. Oh, baby.

Weighed Down 7.5/10

This is a pleasant but thoroughly unremarkable song with an utterly toneless melody and ... the mood doesn't even change throughout the song. I like some of the slide guitar that peppers up the song, but ... that only does so much for it, you know. Anyway ... yawn.

Portrait of an Apology 6.5/10

OK, now that Jars of Clay have officially changed their names to "Jars of the Most Boring Musicians on the Face of the Planet," I don't feel guilty whatsoever for saying I want to grab this CD and utilize the boot on my foot to stomp it to the clay. For what cometh out of the dust shall expire into the dust. Even though CD hath cometh out of the oil fields, I shall nevertheless maketh it expire into the dust. Of course I'm streaming this over the Internet, so I'll have to do it all cyber-like. Quit boring me, you freaks! You're supposed to be modelling your lives after Jesus, and Jesus wasn't this boring!

Truce 8/10

Alright, I don't hate you Jars of Clay. I will truce with you. They are no longer boring with this track. It's upbeat and stuff ... Again, the melody's so-so, but that was to be expected. This one's well constructed and relatively exciting. Intelligent ... happy ... good.

Much Afraid 8.5/10

This song is pretty slow and boring, but the melody's kind of compelling this time. I'll never get heartily excited over this song, but ... whatever. Nice, nice, nice. ... I'd rather be listening to Iron Maiden or something, but ... this'll do for the times when I feel like being out-of-my-mind bored to death. Awesome. ... Actually, this song sounds so thoughtful that I'm willing to embrace this ... mostly.

Hymn 7.5/10

This song sounds like a hymn. It's boring like a hymn. At least it's orchestrated, though, putting some violins and nice harmonies in the mix ... so it's not *that* boring. But ... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz ... This band is more like "Jars of Putting Me to Sleep."

Send me comments in your jars here.