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Make a blue move back to the main Elton John page by clicking on this linkin'... Blue Hooves
Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
That sums up in a concise and coherent paragraph exactly what I think of this album. It is absolutely and phenomenally FRUSTRATING!!! Elton John thinks he has the stuff to fill up another double album, but for whatever reason, he just can't seem to muster up the material! Oddly enough, though Elton still seems to be believing in himself. Most of these songs sound like regular Elton John songs, except they're SO FLAT because the melodies are BLAH. ..................... Uggggg!!!!!!!! There are merely three good songs in here. "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" is obviously one of them, because that's the only song anybody knows from this album. However, there's also the beautiful classical-music inspired "Tonight" as well as an instrumental rock variation of that called "Out of the Blue." Other than that, we're left to EXCLAIM TO THE SKY TO THE GODS OF ROCK-AND-ROLL WHAT ON EARTH WAS WRONG WITH ELTON JOHN WHEN HE RECORDED THIS ALBUM???????? THESE SONGS ARE SO FLAT, AND SO BORING, AND THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM THAT ... this can't be Elton John!!! ... or maybe it is, but he's existing in some type of different realm. Or maybe (and here's my "official" theory), evil aliens abducted Elton John and forced him to come up with another hit album so that they would be able to keep the profits and buy the CN tower in Toronto to do really weird stuff to Canadians. ... I think that's very plausible ... Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 (Whoah ... a double album full of SONGS and all but three are disappointing and flat.) Average Song Score: 7.0 (Merely three excellent song amidst seas of BLAHbiddy BLAHbiddy BLAAAAH!!!!!!) Album Tilt: 6.0 (The LENGTH and the BLANDNESS of this drags it down to a merciless death.) Artist Rating: 6.0 (I suppose I should give Elton some credit for at least sounding like he still cares, but ... THE MELODIES, MAN, THE MELODIES!!! Him of all people should know to work on them melodies!) Track Reviews Your Starter For... 8/10 Your starter for a really overblown Elton John album is all happy and cheery. Woowooooo! All hail all the happiness and cheeriness of all the starters for the overblown Elton John albums on this wonderful planet of ours!!! HURRAH!!!! HURRAH!!! ... Okay, the song's over. It was only like a minute and a half. Tonight 10/10 Well, if all the songs on the album were like this, then this would be a WOOONDERFULLLL overblown album!!! Anyway, this is a song that is nothing else but pretty. It has wonderful classical-music in the beginning of it, and then Elton starts to sing a pretty song. ... It's very very lovely throughout its entire 8-minute duration. One Horse Town 8/10 A hard rock (perhaps trying to sound a little like "Bitter Fingers" from Captain Fantastic). I really enjoy the song production of this, but there is really only one really compelling hook in here. ... It sounds like it should have been a great Elton John song ......................... it just isn't. Chameleon 7/10 This sounds like a regular old Elton John ballad. But the melody doesn't have any devastating hooks in it!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! It's like some alien took its laser beam to Elton John's head and sucked up all his hooks. He also could have done a lot better than just repeating "Chameleon" over and over again until the song fades out. That's pretty much ANNOYING. Boogie Pilgrim 6/10 As they would say in Spain: El Sloppy! As boring as you might envision a "Boogie Pilgrim " to be. This is in spite of all the cool rock-and-roll instruments that are here to dress up the song!!! This song sounds rollicking, but the melody is terrible. And this thing is like six minutes long! Dudes!!! He totally could have cut this song in half and made the entire freaking album shorter!!! Cage the Songbird 7/10 Someone caged Elton John's songbird. *sniff* ... This song sounds like it should be all heartbreaking and stuff, but the melody is too flat, and this song is boring!!! COME ON, MAN!!! PICK IT UP! I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU SIR ELTON!!!!!!!!! Crazy Water 8/10 I like the groove, and there are a few good hooks in this one, but ... where's Elton's soul?? It's got to be somewhere!!!! I think it drowned or something. Shoulder Holster 6/10 Whew!!! It's really surprising how much Elton John sounds like he still believes in himself! These songs are boring crap, but Elton's giving it his all! There isn't a hook in sight here and, while the instrumentation is nice'n'bold, it fails to spice things up. Ho hum. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word 10/10 Heyyy!! Not only is this in the *form* of a regular good old Elton John tune, but it's got a really good melody, too! Elton really sounds sincere in this one, and the melody is so successful as a downer that it'll probably break your heart. This was the album's hit and for good reason! ... If every song on this album were like this, then... (Wait a minute ... is Elton apologizing to us all for the other songs on this double-album? Hmmm....) Out of the Blue 9.5/10 It seems to be a rock-and-roll instrumental variation of "Tonight." ... Not that that's a bad thing, of course, because "Tonight" was one of the best songs on here. And this thing is rather exciting. I like the xylophone! And I also like the electric guitar soloing! Woowoowoowooowoowooowoowoowoowooowooowoowoo!! Why, if every song on this album were like this, then... Between Seventeen and Twenty 7/10 Again, this sounds like it should be a great Elton John classic! ... But it's not!!! Arrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! The melody needs devastating hooks! Elton, you did that on "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word" ... why can't you do it again?????? The Wide Eyed and Laughing 5.5/10 AGAINNNNNNNNN, this song sounds like it should have been great. It's a pop song that utilizes a rambling sitar and sci-fi synths in the background, but ................ CRAP! THIS IS BLAND!!!! ELTON JOHN NEVER USED TO BE SO BLAND!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!!!! That's it. I'm stripping him of his Knighthood. Someone's Final Song 7.5/10 This should be ELTON JOHN'S final song on BLUE MOVES. That would be good, I tell you!!! It would have been better if the album ended a few tracks ago. But ... ohhhhhh, we still have a few more songs to sift through. This one tries to be another sentimental, touching ballad. There are a few nice hooks in it that keeps it afloat at that 7.5 I awarded it, but it's still pretty dang frustratingly flat. Where's the Shoorah? 4/10 I last saw the Shoorah in ................... Elton totally should have used "Someone's Final Song" as his own final song. Trying to be as constructive as possible, I will tell you what I think of this song: it is boring and it sucks. If There's a God in Heaven (What is He Waiting For?) 7/10 Yeah! What is he waiting for? INSPIRE ELTON JOHN TO WRITE BETTER MELODIES!!!!!!!! He used to be the freakingmost master at it! Now he's just B-L-A-H like any ordinary B-L-A-H pop writer! Boooooooooo!!!! ... Comparatively speaking, this has a pretty good melody for the album. ... Yup. Not great, though. Idol 4/10 Booooooooooringggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. Theme From a Non-Existent TV Series 5/10 Probably the reason the networks never green-lit this series is because they didn't like the theme for it. Bite Your Lip (Get Up and Dance) 6.5/10 Okay ... I'll bite my lip until it bleeds, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GET UP AND DANCE TO SUCH DULL DANCE SONGS!!!!!!!!! ... And freaking doodoo! Why must this sound so much like a disco song? ... MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Elton John sucks *lots*. The End. Thank Goodness. BLUE MOVES NEEDS SOME COMMENTS here. evelynm@nbnet.nb.ca (Ben Mason) received Nov. 9, 2005 I know you are upset about this Blue moves album, but that is your opinion. I kind of think the album is cute. The Elton John band line up is the same as Rock of the westies compared to the line up of Elton on Keyboards, Davey Johnstone on Guitars, Dee Murray on Bass, Nigel Ollson on drums, and Ray cooper on Percussions. The line up of Rock of the westies and blue moves are: Elton, Keyboards, Davey and Caleb Quaye on Guitars, Roger Pope on Drums, Ray is still on percussions, and James Newton Howard plays Keyboards. pereza_uned@yahoo.es (GPA) received Feb. 7, 2006 Blue Moves is a poignant album. A kind of "desperate" record, after doing the virtually impossible , having seven consecutive LPīs in the top of the charts in (only)4 years. Moreover, the last ones, going straight away to the 1# position of all the US Charts. Elton needed something to surpass the crossroads where he was. And what is more important, the 50% percent of Elton John, Bernie Taupin , he was going through very bad things: the end of his marriage with the famous "Tiny Dancer" ,and the fall into the dark side of the fame: drugs and alcohol. (Let anyone remember that after this LP , they broke up their artistic partnership , if not completely, almost exclusively,for seven years). So, we have a low-key lyricist, (but normally a great one, one of the greatest),and a gifted and world-famous musician, uninspired probably due to the fact that he canīt go higher in the musical business, as he had gone. After the rise always come the fall. And Bernie and Elton knew this obvious truth. The problem ,which obsesionated Bernie in special, was "how long can we keep doing it?". With all that in mind, I think it is without any doubt, a good album, maybe not excellent, but quite listenable. (Very proper for those listeners who were experiencing sad moments) Surprisingly it has a lot of instrumentals,- the absence of Bernie is almost an evidence everywhere-: Your starter for: with good riffs of Mr Quaye , and superb arrangement of guitars. Yeah, the beginning is promising. (8.5/10) Out of the blue: I think this is much more a kind of frustrated musical experiment. The vibraphones, xilaphones and so on, are good, and the riff which mantain the consistency of the song is well enough. But for me is too long. Very repetitive, though it is very inspired. (7 /10). Theme for non-existent TV series: Particularly I find this one very enjoyable. Its rhythm is very catchy and I simply imagine some kind of final theme for one Tv series about policemen , for example. That reminds me a kind of persecution. Anyway its short duration doesnīt make it very boring. (8 /10). About the non-instrumental ones: Tonight: well Mr Ignacio has said all which can be said about this masterpiece. What a find dissapointing in this song is the coldness in Eltonīs voice. But anyway , even the lyrics are excellent (One of the few highlights of Bernie in this album). (10/10). One Horse Town: With this one Elton seems to reemulate the grandiose atmosphere of past songs , as Funeral for a Friend. Too shinthesizers for me. But the melody is consistent, and even the chorus enjoyable. Like in other songs ,Bernie is uninspired. (8/10) (musicly) Chameleon: A great piano introduction, which derivates into a final chorus very frustating. I think the verses are more attractive than the chorus. And as Mr Ignacio commented, repeating Chamaleon thousand times at the very end, doesnīt give any hook to this song. The voice of Elton is out of the proper tune, too high. (It isnīt like the great falsetto in songs like "Bennie and the Jets" or "GYBR", if you know what I mean). ( 8.5/10) (before the chorus). (8/10) Boogie Pilgrim: Listenable, but absolutely forgettable. Too long. The riff is good, though. Bernieīs lyrics are terribly bad.(5/10) Cage the songbird: A promising beginning, with good lyrics, but the chorus is unispired. The hook are in the verses. Romantic,yes, well oriented folk song , yes, but the chorus destroy the whole structure. A good tribute to Edith Piaf,though. (8/10). Crazy Water: Not too bad lyrics, though not the best ones of Bernie's. It happens something like in Chameleon, great introduction , but something fails in the chorus. The chorus is too disco-oriented for the original concept of the song,a light poppy song. The drums are awful. Reminds me to that drums machine that nowadays everybody use. (7/10) Shoulder Holster: A kind of rip-off story-in-song from "Frankie and Jonny". Bernie, definitive, heīs not at his best. But anyway, the images are cinematic enough. Eltonīs melody is appropiate and enough to sing-a-long. (8/10) Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word: What more can I say! (10/10). Another little blue light in Bernieīs minor work. The wide-eyed and laughing: Who the hell had the stupid idea of using a sitar in this song?. Simply it doesnīt connect with that instrument. Maybe a piano could have had more to do with it. The lyrics, at least ,are decent. (5.5/10). Someoneīs final song: The greatest one of this album ,in my opinion,with Sorry and Tonight. The piano is simple , pure, and very appropiate for the topic of the song ( the suicide). Just a piano a some organ notes above it. Not much more, but thatīs what makes this song great, the simplicity. The voice of Elton is , strangely , well oriented and more tender than in the whole album. The lyrics are a great hook ,too. Bernieīs sincerity is at its higher point. He is undoubtely , in a very bad mood. (10/10). Between seventeen and twenty: This one reminds me to "Writing", because of the guitar style. Though, the lyrics are worse than the one of Writing. But the overall result is good. Even it is sometimes cheerful, what I consider it isnīt proper for the topic of the song, ( the regrets about Bernie and Maxine's relationship ).The chorus sounds sometimes no well oriented. (8/10) Whereīs the Shoorah?: A failed gospel song. The concept is not bad, but the lyrics donīt let the song progress. ( It is comprehensible if we consider how Bernie was actually). The piano does what it can do with that kind of lyrics. (6/10) If thereīs a god in heaven: Well the melody is not bad,- the lyrics ,no comment -,but it seems to have no direction at all. Where does it go? . There is a kind of blurring effect in the chorus of the songs of this album. The songs start well but they end in no catchy choruses!. (7/10) Idol: A great song too. Maybe not as good as Sorry and Tonight, but it really deserves our attention. The lyrics , full of images, are good (what a surprise!) and inspired. (Bernie is talking about Elvis ,I think.). Elton demonstrates he can dominate every genre in music, as well as Jazz. The piano is soft and sofisticated, the saxophone, at the very end, fits perfectly the melody. The chorus is nostalgic and moodly. Bernie seems to be afraid about what would happen with them in the future. Will they end like Elvis in las Vegas?. (9.5/10) Bite your lip, (get up an dance): Well listenable, danceable,but nothing more. The lyrics donīt deserve any comment. A intended-to-be disco song, but it end being a failure. The repetitive part at the end are annoying.Too long. (6 /10) Conclusion: it should never be a double album!. The ones which,I would have chosen , would be: - Sorry Seems to Be the hardest Word
NOTE: I apologize for my English. Sure there are a lot of mistakes, but the intention is what really cares , isnīt it?. |
All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. Cheerios taste better after they've been up your nose for a week.
