|
Shoot the pianist and go back to the main Elton John page NOW! Don't Shoot Me, I'm a Playa!
Overall Album Score: 7.9 out of 10 (That's all the more reason for me to shoot you!) Badda BOOM! Well. After Elton's SPECIAL-GOOD Honky Chateau album, which I praised Elton for finally getting a great balance between the artistic and the poppy, he gets even poppier here and starts faltering on the artistic front. But the album is still good and fun! The melodies are as accessible as ever. (Therefore, I can enjoy this album with much less effort than Elton's Tumbleweed Connection days.) Now here comes the ultimate question: Do you miss the complex Elton? I don't, really. I like these pleasant, catchy tunes as much as anyone. The previous, artsy Elton was just too overbearing sometimes. However, there are a few tracks on this album that have me screaming "SCHLOCK!" But there is a fair amount of good material on here. "Crocodile Rock" really stands out. (It's another one of those songs that we just hear on the radio all the time ... and why not? I enjoy listening to it!) Also, "Daniel" is a really good soft-rocker that starts out the album. Everything else ranges from the above-average ("Blues For Baby and Me,") to the below-average ("Texas Love Song") to the overblown ("Have Mercy on the Criminal") to super-rocking ("Midnight Creeper," "Teacher I Need You.") All in all, when you compare it to Honky Chateau, I am not too impressed with Don't Shoot Me. While he's still going strong, Elton takes the slightest step back as far as his songwriting goes, and he is taking his first steps into an artistic void that he will never recover. (But we'll have fun until we start noticing that it's happened too badly, shall we?) (Yes. Ve vill ... And zen ve vill steal his SOULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHHAHHAHHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Overall Album Score: 7.9 out of 10 (This is still a good album. There's plenty of accessible hooks and enjoyment to be had from it. However, it's not amazing. It's not essential, either.) Average Song Score: 8.2 (Seas of greatness among seas of SCHLOCK! But the sea of greatness is sweeter.) Album Tilt: 8.0 (It's not my most favorite album to have to sit through. Though, it ain't a bad one, either.) Artist Rating: 7.5 (Yeah ... Elton's really taken a bit of a stumble as far as artistic integrity goes. Even though he still has it. It's not as amazing as it was on his previous albums.) Track Reviews Daniel 9.5/10 A very soft, touching tune! It's a little bit dated, too. (I mean ... when was the last time we've ever heard anyone play that soft electric piano? IT WAS BEFORE I WAS BORN, BABY! Oh! And the lyrics make me want to cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! *sniff* Poor Daniel! (Or happy Daniel.) (I don't know if this dude's supposed to be dead or just off on a trip to Spain.) (Who the heck knows?) (Who the heck cares?) (Screw Daniel!) (I hate lyrics.) Teacher I Need You 8.5/10 I DON'T NEED NO FREAKING TEACHERS! *HEY! TEACHERS! LEAVE US KIDS ALONE!* (Isn't that Pink Floyd song like the greatest thing ever written?) (But that has nothing to do with Elton John) (Okay. I'm really going to stop it with this parenthesis thing.) The tune is perfectly accessible as well as the song is enjoyable. Though, I cannot call it a great song. No sir, I just cannot! Maybe it's just easily forgettable. Elderberry Wine 7.5/10 YOU'RE MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES! Really he did. This song has a nice little riff thing going off on the piano and a nice beat. It just gets dull. Not completely dull. Just a little bit dull. DULL. Dull like my woman. Blues For My Baby and Me 9/10 Look dude. I don't know what you're thinking, but I simply have *no* idea why on Earth you would want to give your baby the blues. It's not as if he doesn't have enough trouble coping with the fact that you're his father! Okay. This song starts out a little bit dull, but then it picks up and Elton, who is donning a white suit and funny sunglasses, invites us to music heaven where we get to hang out for a little while. (I really like this sitar in here, too. It was perfectly utilized. It was just a light sprinkling of it! It was a good idea.) Midnight Creeper 9/10 He said Tina Turner! Hehehehehehehehheheehhehehehehehehe! Isn't that funny?!?!?! .......... No I guess it's not. Hm. This song just ROCKS! ROCKS ALL THE NIGHT! IT ROCKS BETTER THAN YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S ROCKING CHAIR AND STUFF! It's such a fun little upbeat number that I just want to wiggle my BIG BUTT to it. YEAH! Have Mercy on the Criminal 7/10 HECK NO! The song tries way too hard to be coo, but then it just SUCKS.(This is another example of Elton John trying to be the soul-man for all white people. I don't know what he sees in it.) It's also way too long. Yet it's listenable in its entirety. (That is, if we're stickin' around for its entirety.) I'm Going to Be a Teenage Idol 7.5/10 Mmmmmmmm... Not wonderful. Most definitely not wonderful. It's okay, though. A little bit slow ... and a little bit average. The chorus doesn't even rock like it could have. Oh well. I would be a teenage idol, 'xcept that I'm not a teenager. Oh well. Although, I suppose I could be an idol among all teenagers. But aren't teenagers supposed to be stupid or something? Texan Love Song 6/10 BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Two words: country western. That is all I've got to say. Crocodile Rock 10/10 This is the BEST mock 50's pop song ever! Isn't it? Doesn't it just want to make you grab your poodle-skirted woman and dance wildly all over the dance floor. (On second thought, your woman would probably be doing something else all over the dance floor, while you're wildly dancing.) Still! It works wonderfully on the dance floor, and it also works great on the car radio! I would be dancing to it right now except for *sniff* I don't have a woman. Oh well. High Flying Bird 7.5/10 I guess this bird missed the deadly jaws of the crocodile, then! Too bad he didn't know that the crocodile was made out of stone. I GUESS I FOOLED THAT GUY, THEN! This is the last song on the regular album and it's BORING. I'm going to listen to "Crocodile Rock" again. Okay, okay ... I admit that it has an altogether decent tune. It's a bit too long, but I ain't complaining. Much. Bonus Tracks I don't care about these stupid bonus tracks! I only care about my Christmas bonus! Which, traditionally, has been about two dollars. It starts with a song appropriately entitled "Screw You," which is altogether a decent song that abuses a perfectly good saxophone. There's also a stupid pseudo-country western song entitled "Jack Rabbit," but it is actually better than that other stupid pseudo-country western song that was in the album. NEXT, there's "Whenever You're Ready," which is obviously meant as permission for us to stop listening to the album. It's bland. Lastly, there's a piano version of "Skyline Pigeon." The original version of this song appeared on Empty Sky, but this version is actually much better! This was the only great bonus track, even though we've basically heard it before. Do you think I've nailed the sucker on the head, or do *I* deserve to be nailed on the head? Leave your comments here. slb23@shaw.ca (Simon B.) received August 21, 2004 Released back in 1972, DON'T SHOOT... was probably Elton's
most pop-influenced album yet. Includes the classics "Daniel" and
"Crocodile Rock", as well as other great songs like "Teacher I Need You",
"I'm Gonna Be a Teenage Idol", and High Flying Bird". It's not one I
listen to often, but it's still a pretty good mainstream pop record.
|
The rumors are true. All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence.
