Kick the chateau and go back to the main ELtON JOHN PAGE NOW!!! Honky ... Chateau? Overall Album Score: 9.5 out of 10 HONKY! (Oh wait ... I was thinking of going somewhere with that, but on second thought, that might not be a good idea.) That last Frelton Gohn album, Madman Across the Water might have been too heavy and too artsy for you. It was for me to an extent. Honky Chateau, however, is an album that is almost as artistically brilliant, and PLUS it comes equipped with its very own floatation device! (That is, when you try to grasp this album, you don't have to worry about drowning with it.) This time, Elton abandons all such grand attempts at being ARTISTIC BUT POPPY ("Blaaaaaah!" says the people) and just concentrates on being POPPY BUT ARTISTIC ("Ahhhhhhhhhh!" says the people). And, many of these tunes have stuck around long enough in the pages of pop music history to still infest my car radio. What pretty much separates this album from the Elton John albums that came before are all the great HOOKS. While he was always a fine hooksmith, it isn't until Honky Chateau when they finally start to glisten. Also, this album is the most enjoyable Elton John record to this date. Before this point, I had to strain myself (a little bit or a lot) to enjoy an Elton John album. Madman Across the Water wasn't difficult to enjoy, but I still had to strain myself. By Honky Chateau, Elton began making songs that are immediately catchy ... and he doesn't sacrifice his artistic integrity whatsoever. "Honky Cat," the first track off this album is a pleasantly upbeat skiffle number that has me wiggling my index finger in the air with all the olde tyme merriness it has to offer. (I also hear this song a lot on the radio.) "I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself" is also one of my favorite tracks from this album. The subject matter is very dark, but it has an upbeat melody. Very interesting! Finally (and I'm sure all you Elton John fans have been WAITING for me to mention this) there's "ROCKET MAN!" It's certainly one of Elton John's best songs. (And for the record, I don't like this song better than David Bowie's "Space Oddity." But I'm a Bowie fan ... so what do I know?) Overall Album Score: 9.5 stars out of 10 (Elton John is a rock legend. And this is perhaps his finest output. There are some truly unforgettable moments on here. One of the most recommended albums on the Planet Earth.) Average Song Score: 9.4 (16 words: HONKY CAT I THINK I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF ROCKET MAN MONA LISAS AND MAD HATTERS.) Album Tilt: 9.5 (Unconditionally enjoyable ... that's what this one is. It's a great!) Artist Tilt: 9.5 (Perhaps it's not as 'artistic' as any previous Elton John album, but I usually consider 'accessibility' some sort of artistic advancement.) Track Reviews Honky Cat 10/10 RIRIRGI$IOIDIE)($)(%)($( BUBUBUBUBBUBUBUUB LALALALALALALALALALA HIRIEITRKFDFJDKDKGDKGGTRWNODKLS! Oh! Excuse me! I was just enjoying this song and writing down whatever immediately came to mind. Too bad it doesn't make any sense. (That is my problem ... what immediately comes to my mind doesn't usually make any sense.) This is a joyful, upbeat skiffle number that has a tune that is likely to stick in your brain for quite a while. AND YOU'LL LIKE IT! Heehee! I really like the awesome way Elton combines the piano, that banjo, the electric piano, and the horn arrangements. This song is quite fun! Mellow 8.5/10 It's slower and it starts out rather quiet. But then it picks up and develops into something more dynamic and soulful. It's not the coolest song on this album. The hooks aren't immediately enjoyable for one. However, it manages to survive within this album pretty well because it comes in between two of the album's best songs, and we are much more likely to notice it. And, it is certainly worth noticing. I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself 10/10 This is an odd little number. The lyrics are very dark ... as the title suggest, it's about somebody proclaiming that they might kill himself (or possibly herself) essentially so that they would create a stir! It's very upbeat, though, but it still has meaning within that context! As if somebody is simply considering it as if it were going to be a joke. The tune, which is theatrical, is worth the admission price of this song ... the lyrics are a sweet freebie! Susie (Dramas) 9/10 Yeah ... this is more like average Elton John. But it's still a very good song. It's a piano led song with sort of a groovy-poppy beat. It's certainly not bad, though. Elton normally sounds great when he rocks out like this! Rocket Man 10plus/10 For me, this is the sheer highlight of the album. It is an ultra-serious and sincere song about a Rocket Man who doesn't want to leave Earth 'cause he misses his family too much. As far as the melody ... I think it's easily the best Elton John's done thus far. It's also VERY beautiful and, if you're feeling particularly weak-hearted, it might even move you tears. However, I must disagree with everyone (George Starostin) who thinks this is better than David Bowie's "Space Oddity." The reason I am so attached to "Space Oddity" so much is simply because 1) I am more interested in Major Tom, who wants to LEAVE planet Earth forever, rather than some wimp-ass who doesn't want to leave his wife and 2) It satisfies all of my weird sci-fi cravings. But, again, I'm a Bowie fan ... but there has GOT to be a reason that I am a Bowie fan, especially considering that "Space Oddity" is one of the main centerpieces of this fandom. I've been listening to "Rocket Man" quite regularly for almost a year now, and I have yet to become an Elton John fan ... I'm just an admirer. I also think Bowie's song is more interesting on the musical sense. It sure has a lot of great and memorable riffs on that guitar. And ... like it or not ... Bowie even sings his song better. (Oh! I just get this electric shock right after that countdown and Bowie starts singing "THIS IS GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM, YOU'VE REALLY MADE THE GRADE ..." However, I do agree that Elton John's song is more sincere. I would also agree that Elton John's song has a better melody. Bernie's lyrics are probably better, too. Ah! who cares? Both songs are great! Salvation 8/10 I wish somebody would tell me why Elton John thinks he has to be the mediator between soul music and white people! ... Okay, maybe that's not exactly being fair. But it's true! He keeps on singing these soulful songs that sound like they're being backed up by a church choir. Don't get me wrong ... I don't think it's a bad thing. I'm sure some people love it! And, when I look at the song's technical qualities, I fully and happily admit that it is very good. I even enjoy listening to it. It's just this churchy soul stuff ... let's just say it ain't my cup of tea. (Even when I'm in church, I don't care for that kind of thing. Why can't we just alter Fleetwood Mac lyrics to something more Holy and sing to that? HUH?) Slave 9/10 Okay. Let me explain myself here. When I first listened to this song, I thought "Hmmmm... This is an 8." But I'm listening to it more closely, and I decided that I liked the slow, humble background noises enough, so I gave it a 9. But, keep in mind that this melody is easily forgettable. (It's also utilizes a slight tinge of country-western.) Amy 9/10 This track starts out not-too-impressively, but it really picks up momentum toward the end. I am not bored with this album at this moment. Quite the opposite. But I'm not utterly enthused by it, either. This is a good song, though. Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters 10/10 This is one of those songs that I always forget to mention in the bulk of my reviews because it occurs in the back of the album and I just forget about it and stuff. (Oh BLIMEY.) This is a remarkably touching song about a woman in New York who is grateful for the nice people she knows from a pool of jerks. (I guess ... I'm never any good at translating lyrics ... ) But at least the song is utterly touching to me. That's what matters at the end. I don't care about any of you worthless peons reading my stupid reviews. I don't know why you're reading it anyway. Why don't you go and do something useful? Leave me and Mona ALONE! Hercules 9.5/10 Hey! Thanks for still reading! This is an enjoyable boogie! BAP-BAP-SHUADAH-DADAH! (Well, it's not a straight boogie song ... it just borrows from it.) This one would be about as good as "Honky Cat," except John's level of good hooks here just aren't as glistening. But listening to this song requires no straining whatsoever. I am able to enjoy this song any time of the day! ---- Bonus Track(s) Slave (Alternate Version) There's one bonus track! And it's an alternate version of "Slave." And, as I scroll up my word processor screen to see if I liked the song ... Hold on a minute ............ (I'm scrolling up now) ............ Oh! I liked that song because of the background stuff! Let's see how much I like the alternate version... Hey I like it! Elton John sings this one MUCH MUCH faster for some reason. I'm not sure which version I would have rather him stuck with. Ehhh ... I think Elton made the right decision. The alternate version is a little bit too loud. I'm happy they included it, though. Do you think I'm right? Or is there something seriously wrong with my cerebellum? Leave your comments here.

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. Yes.