Click here to meet single men in your area. A Single Man Seeking a Woman Who Isn't Stupid Overall Album Score: 7.3 out of 10 Fortunately, this isn't another freaking over-baked crapperpiece Blue Moves. But this isn't anything at all for Elton John to be proud of whatsoever. For the most part, this is a blander rehash of all his classic albums ... and there isn't much of a reason for this album! This album was released in the year 1978, two years after Blue Moves! ... Ever since this dude debuted in 1969, he hadn't spent such a break. This also marks a split from his longtime lyricist Bernie Taupin. While I haven't researched who this "Osbourne" fellow is, he's not nearly as good as Taupin was ... his lyrics, full of cliches and ... uhh ... dull. (IT'S NOT OZZIE!!!! ... i don't think ...) Nevertheless, John's woes stems far away from the lyrics! (Alas, if a song is strong, but the lyrics suck, I tend to give it high ratings anyway ... what else can you expect from an American?) John's soul simply just isn't in this! Absolutely nothing of this man that we saw so vibrantly in Captain Fantastic, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Madman Across the Water, etc. can be seen here! GRR! Indeed, this is nothing new, because this was even worse in Blue Moves, but still. I don't like seeing such pleasant pop stars fall like this. Boo hoo. Overall Album Score: 7.3 out of 10 (While these songs were more often enjoyable than not, I couldn't help but sigh "ho hum" throughout most of this. While this certainly *sounds* like Elton John, he left his soul with Captain Fantastic. That bastard.) Average Song Score: 8.0 (Fairly solid pop songs, I say ... certainly these are more enjoyable than all that bland crap that we saw on Blue Moves ... but this hardly excels.) Album Tilt: 7.0 (Horridly enough, I can't think of a very good reason for this album to exist. It's merely adequate ... and who needs that from Elton John?) Artist Rating: 7.0 (Everything here can be found for a better price on his 1970-1975 albums. Nothing much new to treasure.) Track Reviews Shine on Through 9/10 A perfectly sweet and sentimental Elton John ballad. Indeed, it's so sweet that I think I might just be inspired to VOMIT ON MY KEYBOARD!!!!! EWWWWWWW!!!! ... Okay, well, considering I've made it through the Elton John discography this far, I can take it. And you can probably take it, too ... maybe even enjoy it ... I don't know. This is a pretty good song. It's no "Rocket Man," unfortunately. Return to Paradise 8/10 I like this song, too. It's good ... it's pleasant ... there's nothing at all to hate about this song. Just ... just ... WHERE ARE THE FREAKING HOOKSIES???? ... Yeah! His songs used to have these immaculate HOOKS in them. There's really nothing catchy about this melody. John is mellower than ever ... even though he is still fairly enjoyable. I Don't Care 9.5/10 I don't care either! SO I'M GOING TO STOP REVIEWING THIS!!! I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR MY FREAKING FINAL EXAMS, ANYWAY!!! (Oh wait ... that's precisely why I'm writing this review ... to procrastinate ... hmmmmm ... I should really stop doing this ...) Well, after those two POODIE ballads, Elton finally decides to ROCK out in a way reminiscent of "Bitter Fingers." He even introduces a soulful chorus (equipped with suspected-female-African-American session singers). Nice! Big Dipper 8.5/10 A nice ragtime-ish number ... I like it because it's upbeat and rather spirited ... From any ordinary singer, I would say "WONDERFUL!" and slap an 8.5 on it ... but from Elton, this isn't anything special. It Ain't Gonna Be Easy 7/10 It ain't gonna be easy ... SITTING THROUGH THIS SONG!!!! ... Actually, it's not all that bad apart from it being way too long (more than 8 minutes) and being on the dull side throughout. Mind you, this is still a decent song because Elton-baby gives a nice vocal performance and it has very nice instrumental arrangements ... but I'm not about to give him a Nobel Prize in Physics. He'd need a hookier melody for one of them. And making a great discovery in the field of physics wouldn't hurt. Part-Time Love 7.5/10 The melody's a bit cheesy and generic ... and so is the instrumentation, I hate to say it. (And ... is this getting DISCO here? ... Dude.) But it's Elton John. And he's usually quite endearing and enjoyable. Georgia 6.5/10 BOO TO GEORGIA!!!! And boo to this song! It's loud, bombastic ... and NOTHING. Even though it's a sentimental ballad about Georgia, it doesn't sound like anybody associated with this even cared about that blasted state. Bah! Shooting Star 7.5/10 Please greet Elton "I EMBODY ADULT CONTEMPORARY" John. Yeah. This song is so dang low-key and insignificant that I wonder what happened to the "Tiny Dancer?" Did she die? BECAUSE THIS ISN'T THE SAME GUY!!!! And what's with that light saxophone playing in the background? That's just making it worse! ... Actually, I found a lot to complain about a song that I'm giving a 7.5 to. ... Okay, so it's not that bad. I appreciate the plethora of chord changes. Madness 9/10 How about getting more creative with your BASS??????? Eh, this is a good song only because it's bloody UPBEAT!!! ... Oh bugger. This is disco, isn't it? Well, this is good disco, so help me! If it just had a bit more of Elton John's SOUL in it, it might just have been a disco classic. Nevertheless, it's pretty good as it stands! Reverie 3.5/5 Um ... this song is 53 seconds long ... Just a few piano chords and a synthesizer. Totally pointless. But at least it didn't waste my freaking life. Remember, I should be working on final-studying for school. I don't have time to listen to pointless songs that are greater than 53 seconds long. Song For Guy 7.5/10 ...And I'm sure "Guy" appreciated this song very much, Elton-baby. I bet Guy wishes that Elton wouldn't mutter the bloody lyrics so that I could have a freaking clue what he's singing about ... but whatever. This is an altogether decent (but soulless) ballad that utilizes some synth-scapes. I'm not known to dislike a good synthscape when I hear it. But soul is a must! Eh. Guy probably wasn't right for him anyway. And now ... back to you, Steve. Do the comment thing here, and be freeeeeeee. Milb78@yahoo.com (Shane) received May 27, 2007 This album is very underrated, and was not praised by very many critics. I find it to be his best, if not one of his greatest album for all time. He seems to be in Top Form here. The only song I don't like is Madness. It's too, what's the word?, annoying? Georgia, Song For Guy, Shooting Star, Part Time Love, Hell, I even like Reverie! The song Georgia foreshadows his work of Peachtree Road, which is also a very good album. If you wanted to review a new album, Please review Let It Be... Naked which is by the Beatles, or Captain And The Kid.

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. He never once performed an illegal act with a slice of cheese.