Escape this page and click on this link to journey back to the main page... S-Grape Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10 HELP ME!!!!!! I'M BEING PURSUED BY A HIGH-SPEEDING AOR ROCK BAND AND THEY WON'T STOP RUNNING AFTER ME UNTIL THEY HAVE TAKEN MY SOUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! ((When I used to work at a movie theater, one of my illiterate bosses wrote something like this to describe the movie Ladder 49: "Trappen in a burning building, fire fighters save lives of many. While putting their own in danger." Not only are they illiterate, but they're wankers.)) (((That's a bad word in Britain, but it's not a bad word here in Middle East America where we have only about four swear words.))) And, that leaves me to our favorite crappy AOR outfit: Journey. (I'm beginning to suspect that every AOR rock band in existence is crappy. There's Styx, Foreigner, Boston ... Journey ... and they all bite the big one (well, Boston had their thing, but that's the only time ... oh yeah, and that last Journey album was pretty good ... that's the second-only time). I'm wondering why they even bothered existing.) Yet, there is one really great song on here; one of which I'm convinced is the greatest crappy song ever written: "Don't Stop Believin'" ... No, I don't enjoy that song for its lyrical content. I enjoy it for it's FREAKING AWESOME MELODY!!!! Really, how can you even hope to come up with a better melody than that? ... I sure hope Journey wasn't hoping anything like that, because the other songs on this album SUCK. Well, actually, "Open Arms" is a good song in its own CRAPPY way. ... but that's it. And, I hate to see what the rest of their albums look like! "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Anyway You Want it" are the only songs I know of Journey ... and I've already reviewed THEM. ... And ... they had other albums afterwards ... uh oh ... Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10 (Kinduva disappointing follow-up from Departure ... but there is one great song on here ... at least this thing has THAT going for it.) Average Song Score: 7.8 (One great song, a few good songs, and all the rest are freaking mediocre!) Album Tilt: 7.5 (There's one great song and the rest of the album kinda flakes out from there ... although, nothing in this album totally bombs, so it has a consistence level.) Artist Rating: 7.0 (This is commercial baloney and nothing less.) Track Reviews Don't Stop Believin' 10/10 I didn't stop believing! I knew all along that Journey would eventually come up with a freaking song like this! ... Behold, peoples: this is the most perfect pop song Journey ever produced ... and it's probably even better than anything other people such as Styx, Foreigner, ... and everybody else in AOR-ville did. So ... yeah. What makes it so great, do you ask? The melody! The chorus! The poppy instrumentation! ... Yeah ... superrrr song. Stone in Love 8/10 ...Okay... well, nobody ever said it would last freaking forever! This song, while solid, smells of run-of-the-mill AOR stuff that nobody really cares about. The melody isn't awesome, so ... who cares about it? Who's Cryin' Now 8.5/10 More of a low-key ballad-type song (...though... for some reason I really don't want to dub this song a ballad ... it's more of a quieter version of those previous two songs.) It's not great, but ... hey, the melody's kinda catchy. That makes this song freaky cool, then, I guess. Keep On Runnin' 7.5/10 Not an altogether pooey song ... but ... CRAP, THIS IS COMMERCIAL STUFF!!!! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS!!! AND ... Uhhhh ... It's alright. It's too lightweight to be considered to be worth much of a CRAP, though. The melody has precisely zero hooks in it ... but it was performed nicely. Still They Ride 7/10 BORING!!!!!! ... Man, I guess it's difficult not to make ballad songs utterly BORING, and Journey manages this feat with flying colors! Among all boring ballads in the world, this one is queen! The only thing saving it is the ballad, which is kinda nice, 'cause it soars. Still, the melody is rather poorly written. Eh. Escape 8/10 This is a fairly decent power pop tune thing ... it has a decent enough of a melody and it manages to rock a little bit. ... Ummm ... This is still nowhere near enjoyable enough to make me forget that this is COMMERCIAL BALONEY, but ... I still have the heavenly commercial vibes of "Don't Stop Believin'" running through my mind ... so I'm forgiving. Lay it Down 6/10 Journey still certainly has it as far as instrument-playing goes! This has ALWAYS been their strength. But ... they just seem to have a difficult time trying to come up with decent things to play! This song, while nicely presented, has NO HOOKS IN THE FRIKIN MELODY!!!! NOR DOES IT HAVE A HOOKY RIFF!!!! GRRRR!!!! Dead or Alive 6/10 Still not good ... This is another totally generic and entirely emotionless power pop ballad that's still well performed. ... This is like eating pixie sticks ... it's kinda fun, but there's no redeeming nutritional value to it. Mother, Father 8/10 If I ever felt the need to write an academic paper about Journey and why any good melodies they write are complete accidents, this song might be at the center of my argument. This melody is kind of pleasant, actually ... but I can just sense that they missed out on some golden opportunities for an actual memorable tune here. ... As it stands, this is pretty much just blah. Open Arms 9/10 Another freaking AOR ballad that makes me want to stick two fingers in the back of my throat and vomit, but ... whatever. It's "touching." And the "melody" is pretty "good." It's not "memorable," but it's got "it" where it "counts." Thank "you." COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! here!!!!!

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. Your mother is a heffalump.