Girl, You Really Got Kinks Tew Werk Out

Overall Album Score: 5.7 out of 10

Ah, the poor Kinks. They didn't have such a great start, did they? They were certainly one of the great bands of the '60s who single-handedly pioneered Brit-pop, and here they are in 1964 as some below-average, dime-a-dozen rock band. The only reason they were allowed to record this album is because they stumbled upon a new sound and a hit single called "You Really Got Me." This sound, as it turns out, produced the first hard rock song. It's funny that the Kinks would be writing sissy songs and Americana in the late '60s and early '70s far from hard-rock during that genre's explosion (in the late 1960s and early 1970s).

If it was 1964 and you just bought this album right when it came on the stands, it'd be fair for you to assume that the Kinks were just a two-bit one hit wonder who accidentally made one or two great songs. The only song on here that even approaches greatness is "You Really Got Me." In fact that one is so freakishly excellent that you'd wonder how the same band could surround it with such miserable knock-offs. It's a shame! But you have to feel at least somewhat forgiving --- everyone has to start somewhere.

Basically, there's no reason to own this album unless you're a huge Kinks fan. You can purchase "You Really Got Me" from iTunes. However, if you must buy this album, you'd might as well hold out to get the version with the whopping 12 bonus tracks. It's a shame that version is hard to come by these days, but that's the version real Kinks fans need. As it turns out, these bonus tracks contain another song that you ought to own: "All Day and All of the Night." It's another memorable, catchy hard-rock song that really compliments "You Really Got Me" well.

So, I think I've basically said it all. There's 26 tracks in this super-expanded bonus edition of The Kinks and only two of them are actually great! You heard it from me first. OK maybe you didn't. I'm just agreeing with everybody else.

Overall album score: 5.7 out of 10 (Fans definitely should own this out for completion's sake. Nobody else needs it. You can just purchase the big from iTunes.)

Average Song Score: 6.1 (There's one great song, and the rest are rather awful.)

Album Tilt: 5.5 (The inexperienced Kinks weren't ready for album rock.)

Artist Tilt: 5.5 (The inexperienced Kinks weren't ready for art rock. Can't really blame them, though. At least Ray felt the need to write so many originals even if they weren't that good.)

Track Reviews

Beautiful Delilah 6.5/10

Dave Davies, of all people, takes lead vocals with "Beautiful Delilah," the first Kinks song on the first Kinks album. But poor Dave doesn't have a voice worth much of anything --- or at least as he chose to use it in 1964. This cover of the Chuck Berry song is about as standard as it gets with not only sloppy singing, but sloppy instrumentals... Hm.

So Mystifying 6/10

This is a Ray Davies original, but it's about as generic as it gets. Poor Ray doesn't even manage to sing this with any level of confidence. You almost don't think he's enjoying himself. This song gets boring after the first thirty seconds (it's so repetitive) and the mixing is so horrible that it's embarrassing... yeesh.

Just Can't Go to Sleep 7/10

A definite Bealtes clone, and it's almost convincing. The hooks are solid enough although points can certainly be docked off for lack of originality. It's a shame this producer didn't bother developing this song past sheer laziness. Yeesh.

Long Tall Shorty 4/10

Dave takes the lead vocals in this cover. I'm not quite sure what the freaking hell is with this song, but it's completely messed up. Those guitars are as choppy and awkward as can be. When they bring in those harmonicas, it's like they're attacking my eardrums with a hammer. Oh, and Dave's vocal performance is ugly --- at least he's louder in the mix than the previous two Ray performances.

I Took My Baby Home 5.5/10

This is a pretty horrible original, but at least it comes off better than the previous track! The melody annoys me --- it's just some knock off of a typical '60s pop band sound. It's a shame that Ray wasn't greatly into songwriting at this point. I guess he's just treading water before he's ready to take off.

I'm a Lover Not a Fighter 6/10

Dave takes vocals again though this one comes off a little better. The sloppiness in the instrumentation is seen here --- that clapping is freaking annoying.

You Really Got Me 10/10

And now the only reason you probably got up this morning. Here is that huge hit from 1964 that sparked a revolution! That riff only consists of a few notes, but I guess that's what makes a great a classic rock song. For once, Ray sings this with some sort of real conviction although he reeks of sarcasm. (That's not a bad thing I guess.) Needless to say, this is the only track of the album with any real energy.

Cadillac 6.5/10

Back to their throwaway covers. But this is a rocking song that seemed to be well written, but these guys don't care enough to give it justice! Maybe they were enjoying themselves. Possibly.

Bald Headed Woman 3/10

OK. What the hell is this. This doesn't even sound like a song. It's more of a song-oid. I'm not sure what they were doing. It starts up with a few clumsily played chords whilst they were singing an old country song. It's bizarre and utterly misfired. Their wierd ideas would turn up gold later on in their career, but this one turns up poop.

Revenge 7/10

This sounds almost like they were trying to make a clone of "You Really Got Me" and then combining it with "Cadillac." It's mostly a furious instrumental that almost works (there's some subdued singing toward the end). I actually like this one.

Too Much Monkey Business 7/10

This is a sloppy old cover of the Chuck Berry song. This one's enjoyable, I guess, because the song is difficult to screw up. You'd wonder about that electric guitar solo --- he's fumbling over himself....

I've Been Driving on Bald Mountain 3.5/10

A horrible cover! Dave sings the vocals again, but it doesn't sound like he was singing directly in the microphone. The primitive instrumentals are boring --- I could be wrong, but it seems like some of them were ready to give up playing this in the middle. I get that impression.

Stop Your Sobbing 7.5/10

The original composition sounds like every other '50s pop ballad. It's slightly enjoyable, but everything was easily lifted from somewhere else. Ray's vocals are completely goofy... He doesn't sound like he cares.

Got Love if You Want it 6/10

It seems like a cover the Rolling Stones would have done, except the Stones would have been fun! Answer me one question: Why does Dave sound like a cross between a duck a squished cat? Is he supposed to sound like that? Why is that freaking drum mixed so loudly? It's not the '80s yet.

BONUS TRACKS:

It surprises me there would be so many bonus tracks. It's a shame that this version of the CD has to be so expensive. Don't they care about Kinks fans???

"Long Tall Sally" sounds like they cared more deeply about it. The Beatles-esque screaming they do in the chorus comes off fun, and there's a decent harmonica solo in here. It's pretty sloppy, but they sound more self-assured than they did in the regular album.

"You Really Want Me" is an original. It's pretty nice although Davies is still being about as derivitive as it gets. His Beatles impersonation comes off much better in "Just Can't Go to Sleep." These hooks aren't as solid as they could have been.

Oh here we go. Finally some creativity. "You Do Something to Me" has a melody that intrigues me, even if it's just for a brief moment. It's another Beatles clone except it sounds different than the Beatles --- in a good way, this time. Maybe it was an accident or maybe it was on purpose. Anyway. It's sweet.

"It's Alright" is also an original, but it's completely unnecessary. It's a pretty bad Rolling Stones knock-off. The riff sounds stupid to me, and the vocal performance sounds like Ray is dying of something. The instrumentation sounds like it was possibly meant to be raucous, but it's clumsy and sloppy in the worst way.

Yay! "All Day and All the Night" is a song that you pretty much need. That's why a real Kinks kompletist should scout out this huge version of the album. This is the Kinks making another hard rock song and sounding just as confident as "You Really Got Me." This one's essential.

"I Gotta Move" is another boring Rolling Stones knock-off. It's a shame they had to be so freakishly flimsy in their early days, but I guess everyone has to start somewhere.

Their version of "Louie Louie" is annoying! When they scream out that "Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah" it's again like they're attacking my ear drums. The instrumentation is sloppy and boring --- well that's certainly no surprise at this point --- this is just another inessential song for anyone but the Kinks fanatics.

"I Gotta Go Now" is an interesting original. It sounds like an early version of a rejected Village Green song with filler lyrics. The hooks are very simpleminded, but you can almost, almost detect some Brit-pop on here. That's pretty interesting for Kinks fans.

"Things Are Getting Better" is a pretty goofy original. It's another derivitive pop-rocker that normal people probably don't need to own.

"I've Got That Feeling" is another one of their weak Beatles knock-offs. At least the fact that they can be halfway convincing at emulating the early Beatles must be some indication of Davies solid songwriting skills. It's all very much a diamond in the rough. I know someone who would go crazy hearing that one-armed-man piano solo in here!

Unlike most album bonus tracks, this one only has one track that appeared on the original album. (How the heck could they have so much miscellaneous material.) "Too Much Monkey Business" manages to sound slightly better than the version that appeared on the album. This is played so fast that it's almost dizzying, but it's also played with a bit of self-assuredness that is essential for this freaking band.

The end of the bonus tracks is "I Don't Need You Anymore" a weaker Beatles clone that's worse than the other weak Beatles clones! Meh!!! The hooks aren't worth anything. The vocals aren't the worst that I heard though, especially on this album. Hm.

Am I kewel or what? Or, was this kinky review completely off-base? E-mail me here!