The Un-Destroyer!

Overall Album Score: 6.2 out of 10

Well ... it seems that Bob Ezrin (Alice Cooper and Pink Floyd producer extraordinary) saw something in Kiss and decided to produce their next album as well as co-write some of their songs. Not only does this album sound much more professional than their previous studio efforts, it even sounds posh! (Kiss? Posh? Never!) The ultimate question should be: Is this an improvement?

Um... yeah it's an improvement! Though, I didn't expect Kiss to get their act together so danged efficiently! The songwriting is improved (though still not even close to perfection), their instrumental abilities sound nearly professional now and ... yeah. I am not willing to call this one a wonderful album or anything like that, but hey! It doesn't suck! Such is the only requirement of a good Kiss album. With some odd little additions in here (such as the piano, string arrangements, harps, miscellaneous sound effects) it gives me a break from all that guitar heavy stuff that I oh so hated in Kiss's previous studio albums.

There are actually some decent songs on here! Surprisingly! There are a lot of mediocre and dull tracks, but there are plenty of medium-to-good songs on here as well, something which always used to escape Kiss in the past. On a typical Kiss album, there might only be one or two good songs on it. Now there are at least three or four.

Well, I'm impressed! The fourth Kiss studio album isn't a rock classic or anything (or anything that I would ever consider as being a rock classic), but it does prove they've come a long way since their 3.7-scoring eponymous debut. Hooohah!

Overall Album Score: 6.2 out of 10 (Kiss passes! They got an album score that reaches above a six! How exciting! That still doesn't make this a good album, though.)

Average Song Score: 6.6 (Well, well, well! Kiss finally turns out a passing set of songs in a studio album! Whattadaknow! Pigs can fly, after all.)

Album Tilt: 6.0 (Sorry but no. While the album doesn't suck all the world's crap, it still does suck.)

Artist Rating: 6.0 (Kiss ain't no artists, either. Even though they apparently "expand" artistically, they're still not artists. And they got a lot of help with this "expansion" anyway. No. It's still the same Kiss we know and hate.)

Track Reviews

Detroit Rock City 7/10

I've been to Detroit once. I can't say that I saw too many rocks, there, unless we're counting rocks in pavement or something. This track starts out with a news program that is playing in the background. In the foreground, we hear dish and silverware noises as if somebody is eating. And then we hear a little bit of "Rock and Roll All Nite" (as if I really needed to be reminded of that song) and then we finally get to "Detroit Rock City!" For some reason, even though this might just be Kiss's second-most famous song, I really don't find it to be a whole heckuvalot special. It's just a pretty standard hard-rock affair. It's kind of dull and banal. (And ... whatsah dees do I hear? Dost I hear some poundings of a piano? Oh! Datsah nice!) For Kiss, though, this is a good song.

King of the Nighttime World 6/10

Um... Oooooohhhhh... No I can't say I like this song. It recalls all that was dull and amateurish that I always recognized from Kiss. However, at least it doesn't make my eardrums bleed or anything. See ... when listening to Kiss albums, you've got to be optimistic! The melody or the arranging aren't anything worth mentioning.

God of Thunder 5/10

Oh! What was I going off about in the introduction! These songs are still major poodie! More psycho-heavy hard rock that is really boring and banal. I've had enough of this world... The only major difference here is that we hear a kid calling out random words in the background. This kid is actually a pretty good singer, in comparison.

Great Expectations 8/10

Well, maybe this is what I was going off about in the introduction, but this is the first Kiss song not to utilize the electric guitar as if it were the only instrument on the planet. There are electric guitars on here, but they are kept at a bearable minimum. (It's not that I hate guitar music!) This track, which is kind of show-tuney, utilizes a children's choir, as well as a pseudo-orchestra. Man! Oh, and it has been brought to my attention that it does closely resemble Alice Cooper's "Department of Youth." Both songs were written by the same person (Bob Ezrin)! Heck, I don't care. As long as it doesn't suck, I'm fine with self-plagiarism. (Alice Cooper's song is much better, however! Alice is a cooler rock star, too!)

Flaming Youth 7.5/10

Well! I still don't think that it's anything utterly special ... the melody strikes me as being pedestrian, but this song is actually ENJOYABLE. And it doesn't annoy the living beole out of me like "Rock and Roll All Nite" does, either. There's even an altogether good electric guitar solo in here! Roll out the flaming youth!

Sweet Pain 5/10

Ohhhhhhh... we're back to doing all this boring cock-rock again with a bad melody and ... badness all around. Yet, I hear females in the background of the rousing, politically-charged chorus of "Hey! Hey! Hey!" (Politically-charged, eh? Nah! I was just kidding ... but wouldn't it be cool if political protestors would start yelling that? It would be methinks.) Compared to the dreck we saw on the previous Kiss studio albums, this is pretty good. But it's still a 5.

Shout it Out Loud 6.5/10

This isn't a bad party-type song, but it's not great, either. I like the atmosphere to it, though. It's a good song to celebrate with you're in the mood! (Again, it's fairly dull and banal, though. There's nothing about it that ought to scream for your attention.)

Beth 8/10

Hoooooooooooly crap! I can't believe that Kiss actually comes up with a fairly effective sentimental ballad that *gasp* doesn't reek with sap! If the past is the key to the present, you would never have guessed it. This track is almost to the point of beauty! How weird is that?

Do You Love Me 6.5/10

Not bad. It's hard rock that sounds like it belongs on a 1990s car commercial. That's not a bad thing, of course, as long as it isn't Bob Seegar. (I almost hate Bob Seegar more than I hate Kiss. Seegar is slightly more talented, but according to him, he's as talented as Willy Shakespeare! An awful, awful man! But his songs make good car commercials!)

(untitled) - (hidden track)

They didn't do a very good job of hiding it! ... This is a pointless track full of echoes and song-clips from themselves. It might just as well have been hidden. I'm not going to hate it; I'm not going to count it. So there! The end of the album.

Rock in places where nobody's ever thought to (in Detroit) and then leave your comments about it here!