Slick it Up

Overall Album Score: 7.1 out of 10

I am in absolute shock! Is this Kiss album decent or what? I mean ... dude! I've spent months reviewing Kiss albums ... Throughout the experience, I've been disgusted, nauseous, dismissing ... sometimes I've been amused and there have been a few surprises (most notably, their art-rock discourse, Music From "the Elder"). But this is genuinely the first time that an actual Kiss album, where they are together as a band and they're doing heavy metal music, where the music is actually GOOD. And, I'm saying most of these songs actually have a good riff ... good melody ... good instrument-playing ... etc. I'm not sure how they did it, but Kiss really put together a solid effort with this one. What a happy surprise!

The hype surrounding this album, indeed, has to do with the little gimmick that Kiss pulled at the time. They removed their make-up on MTV and revealed their 'true selves.' Glancing at the album cover, I say PUT YER MAKE-UP BACK ON, FREAKS!!! But who knew that a commercial gimmick would actually warrant a decent product? I didn't know! (Well, it did work for them with their four-solo album thingy, but ... Who knew that it would happen twice?)

The improvement probably has to do with Vinnie Vincent ... Ace Frehley's replacement. He must really be a good songwriter or something, because this album is pretty good, and he co-writes eight of these ten songs. Also, Paul is kept stifled more or less, which is a big positive.

Well, actually, when you compare a 7.1 to other artists, it really ain't that great. But for Kiss, whose highest rating on one of their NORMAL albums was a 6.5, this is a monumental and surprising addition to the discography. If you really must have a Kiss album, then make it Lick it Up. You're probably better off not getting a Kiss album at all, but this would be the one to get.

Overall Album Score: 7.1 out of 10 (Forget the gimmick of Kiss appearing on the album cover without the make-up ... and that old publicity on MTV ... Let's concentrate on the music. It's heavy-metal, the very style that Kiss was known for since their conception, and this is the first time that it actually sounds good. *This* is the quintessential Kiss album.)

Average Song Score: 7.4 (An altogether consistent and sometimes very entertaining set of songs. Since when were heavy metal Kiss songs any good? This is the first time!)

Album Tilt: 7.0 (Well, this isn't a perfectly immaculate album or anything ... but whatever Kiss did on here, I wish'd they would have kept it up.)

Artist Rating: 7.0 (This *isn't* an artistic disaster. That's the amazing bit. I never thought the day would come, but I finally ran across a DECENT heavy-metal Kiss album. It took them 9 years to do it and half of its original members to quit (and another songwriter onboard), but they finally did it! ... Through much turmoil and heartache!)

Track Reviews

Exciter 8.5/10

Hmm! An overall 80s heavy-metal song that ranks "Pretty Awesome." The riff is ballsy and the instrumentation/singing is just exciting. The melody is even passable (for heavy metal). Really, you wouldn't expect something so good from Kiss. Their 70s metal sucked pretty thoroughly.

Not For the Innocent 7.5/10

This song sounds really menacing. Wow! Does that mean a Kiss song has some type of feeling in it? I can't help thinking that this song *is* a bit banal. But ... man ... the 'menacing feel' is something genuinely new. That doesn't mean the song is great, but ... dude!

Lick it Up 6.5/10

Oh, puh-leazz! This song is as goofy-banal as the Kiss from the days of yore has been. I hate the chorus. The chorus is stupid. I also hate the rest of the song. Is this song really supposed to be the best one from the album? The All-Music Guide seems to think so. Not me, sayz I. ... A 6.5 is still fairly high for Kiss, though. Ya've got to recognize that.

Young and Wasted 7.5/10

This is most definitely a Led Zeppelin riff. Nevertheless, that was a good riff, and I'd much rather Kiss steal a good riff rather than actually try coming up with one of their own. And bits of this song are really cool. The other parts ... ehhhh. But this song is worth it for that one bit of it that's really cool.

Gimme More 7/10

Hnnnnn ... This ain't not too exciting, ya know. The riff is alright, I guess. The song is upbeat, yah. But is deees really a gut song? Vell, it dun't make me vant to jump offuva fjord, ya know. Unt I dun't vant to take outta mah bratvurst and vave it alound atzen zee peeple. So, I gives eet a sven.

All Hell's Breaking Loose 7.5/10

Kiss is rapping! ... Mostly this is a regular old heavy metal song, but there's some rapping in here, too. Of course, this was back when rap music actually sounded cool, and not that poo that's all over the radio today. Cool rapping or not, this song really isn't that great. It just has some cool rapping on it. Again, I'm not that used to giving Kiss such high song ratings. This is awesome.

Million to One 6/10

This is a regular old banal old 80s old heavy metal number. It's actually performed rather well, but this isn't special whatsoever. I take a snoozola.

Fits Like a Glove 7/10

This is the first song on the album that Vinnie Vincent had nothing to do with. It's a Gene Simmons ditty! And it's pretty good. I guess. Hmmm. I like aspects of it. The instrumentation is alright. The wild vocal performance is totally 80s. Just because it's "totally 80s" doesn't mean that it's "totally rancid." It's not "totally good," either.

Dance All Over Your Face 8/10

Um. No. You're not dancing all over my face with those platform shoes! That's just SICK, man! ... Not to mention the fact that it would hurt a lot. I don't like to hurt. Hurt is bad. Unless it's the kind of "life-lesson growth" hurt. That is good! Although, I'm not really sure what kind of life lesson I'd learn by having Kiss dance all over my face in their platform shoes. This is actually a pretty good song with a nice, crunchy riff. The bass is pretty cool here. ... Yep. This is one pretty cool song! Way to go Gene Simmons and way not-to-go Vinnie Vincent!

And on the 8th Day 8.5/10

This is a goofy song about how God created rock-and-roll on the 8th day. Now that's "totally 80s" by definition! (And it rings of "Rock N Roll Creation" by Spinal Tap, doesn't it?) Even though Spinal Tap was supposed to make fun of music like this, somehow Kiss actually makes a good song! Yes! This is absolute cheese, but it's a largely entertaining song! I can't believe it! How on earth did I start enjoying heavy metal Kiss? They must have suddenly realized how to become awesome, kinda.

Lick me up some comments about this album and send them to me here!!!