Paul Dandy
Overall Album Score: 5.8 out of 10 I must be a real idiot, but I honestly don't see that the songs on Paul Stanley are any worse than what's on the average Kiss album. Although, all claims that Paul Stanley being the worst of all the 1978 solo albums are totally true. This is pretty danged awful. But there are enough effective rockers in here as well a convincing (but air-thin) ballad in here to tell me that Paul Stanley shouldn't have such a down-in-the-never-ending-hole awful reputation. Yes ... I am currently in the middle of being completely dumbstruck about the fact that I'm actually enjoying all these Kiss solo albums. I thought they would all suck beyond belief. Well ... they do suck ... but for some reason, they all manage to be a somewhat decent compared to Kiss! Even Paul Stanley. Oddly enough, Stanley doesn't deviate a whole lot from the original Kiss style, and it still strikes me as being decent. These are a bunch of generic hard rockers. The riffs were reportedly stolen from every rocker from far and wide ... but DANG IT ... so was Kiss's riffs! (Besides ... I don't normally let stolen riffs go to heart.) And a lot of these songs from Paul Stanley really seem to kick more than Kiss songs. More importantly, though, these songs don't have me beating my head against hard objects. I have a favorite song on here that Internet-critic George Starostin seems to have hated it the most, but I do find it perversely enjoyable. It's that really CHEAP but strangely sweeping and uplifting love ballad "Hold Me, Touch Me (Think of Me When We're Apart)." This isn't genuinely a good song, but I really enjoyed it ... oh ... I never should have started that Michael Bolton page. I can't believe that this is better than most Kiss albums. This is very strange. Overall Album Score: 5.8 out of 10 (There have been Kiss albums that got higher scores than this ... The 1978 Paul Stanley solo album, however, had some moments of joy. Some of his Kissian rockers rank among the best of the band's. The rest of it sucks, of course.) Average Song Score: 6.4 (Yep. These are definitely not the greatest set of songs. There are some decent ones in here, though.) Album Tilt: 5.5 (This album, for some reason generally starts with the worst songs and ends with the greatest songs. Anyway, I was really tempted to give this a 6. And that probably accounts for me wanting to embrace this sucker ... for no apparent reason, really.) Artist Rating: 5.5 (Of course this album doesn't have any artistic merits. Why should I even have to write this explanation?) Track Reviews Tonight You Belong to Me 6.5/10 I usually hated it when Kiss tried pulling stuff off like this ("Rock Bottom") ... a calm acoustic bit, and then it inexplicably transforms into a hard-rocking tune. I like the calm acoustic bit, but I don't care at all for the hard-rock bit. It really needs to be faster and more exciting. Sorry. I know this is supposed to be the best song on here. But that's not my opinion! (Nice lead guitar work, though! Bringing in other guitarists was really a good thing ... could that be the reason why I'm inexplicably enjoying this Kiss solo albums because there's only one Kiss member for me to put up with? Possibly ...) Move On 6/10 This song sucks, too. But at least it has a harpsichord in there for a few seconds. Another cool electric guitar solo is the highlight. It's no Iommi, though, that's for sure. Ain't Quite Right 5/10 This riff is overly simplistic. And it's too slow and boring. It doesn't even turn into a cheesy Kiss hard-rock glam thing. Yyyyyyyyyyyyeah. Blabb blalblblb blalkrkreklglrlblblblbbbbb ignriieitirougnd aoiwoniegi borineoowieir orrrffffff. Stanley's at least a decent singer. But. I've heard worse Kiss song. Still. Yawn. Wouldn't You Like to Know Me? (Frankly, No) 5/10 For some reason this obnoxious, cheese-puff, hard-pop, Kissian-by-definition thing is almost listenable. "Almost" being the key word. Everything seems to be in place here ... it even has a somewhat decent melody to work with ... nice instrumental performances ... but, for some strange reason, this one just doesn't seem to work. Whew. Take Me Away 6/10 Hmmm... I do know where Stanley lifted this riff from! "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds!" Why would he take it from such an obvious source? It starts out acoustic and it grows louder, dumber, and hmmmm... Stanley is Kiss. I can't say that I genuinely despise this, though. I mean the riff was lifted from the masters, right? This one is rather drecky, though. Maybe they ought to give him a Grammy. It's Alright 7.5/10 Well, hey! Here's a decent one! It came when I wasn't expecting it, either! It's a typical Kiss song, but this one is actually good! Hooray! It's a breakthrough! And, as I think we would all see in the future Kiss albums, they will never suck ever again. ... maybe ... This one even has superb arranging. It's overly simplistic to be sure, but ... dude ... This is genuine first-class Cheeze Whiz. Hold Me, Touch Me (Think of Me When We're Apart) 8.5/10 ...The fact that Paul Stanley was once attached to somebody is baffling. What I find even more baffling is that this sweet, corny love song is actually rather good. The melody is well-written (...whoah...) ... It's even sweeping and a bit uplifting ... in a totally cheap and generic yet satisfying way! And I ain't no adult-contemporary aficionado, either. Just waltz on over to my Michael Bolton page and see how much I put down that poor (egg-sucking) guy. Whoah. This was pretty cool. Love Chains 5.5/10 Ooooooooooooooh... we're back to the semi-repulsive Kissian songs. Hmemhemhmehemihemiemhrihremihremihrem. Goodbye 7.5/10 Gooooooooooooooooodbyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeedlingdlingdligndling!!!!!! I was secretly hoping that Stanley might have closed their album with some sort of shockingly good song. I actually kind of like this riff. It's very simple. But it really works well. In short, this is one of the better Heavy Metal songs on here. It isn't even that poorly-written. Paul Stanley said he'll personally beat you up if you don't e-mail me a comment about this album here! OleQuijote@yahoo.com (OleQuijote) received June 12, 2004 The album is great. Your review of it: shit sandwich. Don Ignacio responds: Fine by me. funke_chik77@yahoo.com (Carly) received Jan. 27, 2005 What is ur deal? Paul Stanley is an artist!! I loved his album, ur just hating on him, because he can sing and you probably can't. |
All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He flosses with power lines.
