From the tea-rooms on Mars to the hell holes of Uranus, and now back to the main Landscape page ... F.T.T.R.O.M.T.T.H.H.O.U Overall Album Score: 8.5 out of 10 Ya know, I really think that I ought to hand it to them Brits. Only in the great land of Britannia would an album like this ever hit the Top 20. This is an absolutely insane (and brilliant) electronic album that takes all the wonders of the Kraut-rock electronic instruments (within the then-developing genre of synth pop) to bring us one of the most insane albums that I've ever had the accident of listening to! You're already going to have to be pretty eccentric to enjoy Kraftwerk ... to enjoy Landscape's From the Tea-Rooms of Mars to the Hell Holes of Uranus, you might just have to be borderline insane. The best way I could describe the feel of this album (up to the final three tracks) is Star Wars! Do you remember that strange alien music that we heard in the taverns and stuff? Now, just imagine that somebody made an album full of kooky electronic stuff like that! If you're sitting restless in your seat right now, then this would be something that you ought to put on your list of albums to listen to. Oddly enough, after that peculiar alien ballroom dance music number (which is probably my personal favorites), the final four tracks (bonus tracks) after that are some rather catchy 80s pop songs ... and, they also, step by step, get more normal! (See the track reviews for more details.) However, the big hit in Britain wasn't even from these four poppy songs ... it was something that I never would have guessed: "Einstein a Go Go," which is a very strange song that doesn't even come close to having the album's catchiest melody! Most of the albums I review for this site, I listen to them, review them, and I'll probably never listen to them again. From the Tea-Rooms of Mars to the Hell-Holes of Uranus will most certainly be an exception ... especially considering that I seem to like it the more I listen to it. (The first time I put it on, I didn't know what to think about it! ... By the second listen, I was hooked.) Lastly, I'll add that this is a very diverse set of tunes ... I shall go into more detail about that in the track reviews ... Follow me, if you please... Overall Album Score: 8.5 out of 10 (The principle aspect keeping this album's overall score more out of the 9-category can be attributed to its length ... maybe they should have cut a few of those uninspired tracks.) Average Song Score: 8.4 (There are some real bizarre gems in here! ... There are also some instrumental not-quite-gems in here. Oh well!) Album Tilt: 8.5 (This album is a weird delight!) Artist Rating: 8.5 (I don't know how many artists out there who have the gall to make an album like this, and have further gall to make it really delightful. Kudos!) Track Reviews European Man 8.5/10 Ooooohh ... this one piddles around in a bunch of weird electronic nonsense before the song actually starts up. This one's actually closer to being a very strange synth version of Glam. (I guess it would make sense that England really 'identified' with this album ... they were the only ones who ever bothered with Glam music!) There are a bunch of strange electronic bleeps and blips going about that keeps this one (which had a pretty good tune to begin with) from getting uninteresting. It's not innovative electronic stuff, but I'd say it's fairly accessible. Shake the West Awake 9/10 Now, this one sounds like Kraftwerk ... except it's definitely more pop-accessible than Kraftwerk was on even in their The Man Machine album. The hooks are definitely there, and the song is definitely entertaining! Computer Person 7/10 Nawwt wonderful ... the breaking-up synth patterns can be annoying. And, the song doesn't really have too many good hooks in them. Oh well! Nevertheless, it doesn't sound like it was put together by a bunch of monkeys ... there was thought put into it. Alpine Tragedy/Sisters 9/10 This song takes a little bit too long to get started (the first minute and a half or so of this track is a big fat nothing). After that, it develops into this extremely hooky (and kind of goofy sounding) instrumental piece. And then it sounds a bit Christmasy ... and then ... ah, dude! There are too many interesting bits in here ... and it really does sound like that club music from Star Wars! Face of the 80's 7/10 This pop song is actually a little bit disappointing. It's a semi-pop oriented thing ... and it doesn't particularly make a wonderful listen. Nevertheless, it's alien enough for me to make it entertaining. I suppose. New Religion 7/10 This is NOT related to that Duran Duran song! Why did Landscape choose to put all of their semi-mediocre tracks toward the beginning of this album? Hmm... I guess that the world will never know! This instrumental is not special ... The first time I listened to this, I thought that the band was washed-up already on the album! It's a dang good thing that I was wrong! Nevertheless, this one has grown on me a little bit. Einstein A Go-Go 8.5/10 You know, I'm not sure exactly what made this song special enough to be a big hit in England. I guess their refusal to fix their teeth was causing them so much pain or something .... oh! Heck! At least the Brits were into something INTERESTING ... and this song IS interesting. You can't deny it that. (The dialogue at the end of this album is VERY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!) Norman Bates 9.5/10 Now HERE'S a song that I like! (It gives away the ending of the Alfred Hitchcock film "Psycho" ... I guess if you haven't seen that film yet, you ought to watch it before listening to this song.) The song basically consists of the lines "My name is Norman Bates, I'm just a normal guy." It is VERY creepy and almost menacing at times! Crap! I really can't fathom of a better homage to that film than this. ... It's very fitting. The Doll's House 8.5/10 This instrumental track doesn't make a bad listen at all ... It's really insane and it seems to me the kind of music that would be in the mind of a deranged but brilliant mad scientist from a B-movie science fiction picture ... pretty cool, 'eh? Wild stuff! From the Tea Rooms of Mars to the Hell Holes of Uranus 10/10 Now, I am really attached to this one for some reason! This one is pretty much the music of this crazy alien word for OLD PEOPLE! It has a sort of disconnected salsa beat as its basis ... however, what REALLY makes this track so special is that radio announcer that's so brilliantly cheesy. (And when the song strikes up, I can just picture old, wrinkled-up aliens with walkers trying their best to dance along with this with their aged spouses.) This track is also more than 7 minutes long ... it's just WEIRD. And you can't complain about THAT Kenya? Or at least I can't ... This'll probably put humorous images in your mind no matter how grounded of a personality you have. BONUS TRACKS Eastern Girls 9/10 We haven't quite gotten to starting to do the regular 80s synth-pop stuff ... but I guess a lot of 80s stuff had sort of an alien edge to them. This one sounds to me like the pop song that Kraftwerk could never make. It's succinct and entertaining. A song like this might have been a hit, but even for the 80s, it was a bit too alien. (The subject matter is questionable, though, I guess ... something that the politically correct world of modern times probably wouldn't accept.) It's Not My Name 8/10 We're getting ever-so-sligthly more normal (it sounds like Star Wars cantina music, still) ... This 80's pop song is still very entertaining with a completely interesting and catchy melody line. So Good So Pure So Kind 8.5/10 Okay ... we are now SAFELY into normal 80s-land pop territory! This is closer to being adult contemporary more than anything ... except this one actually sounds entertaining. I like the melody here ... It's no Paul McCartney song, but it's kinda pretty. (Actually, the melody sounds a lot like "It's Not My Name" ... but ... that's okay. You Know How to Hurt Me 8/10 Okay ... for the album's most normal sounding song, this is just like a regular old Al Stewart song ... but Al Stewart is great, innit he? Yeah! It's an entertaining song ... even though this is the 'normal' track from the album, you'll probably still have to be weird to actually like this. It could have used some better-written hooks in it. No matter where you are ... from the tea-rooms in Britannia ... to the hell holes of my room, find the nearest Internet connection and e-mail me a comment about this album here! simons@frenchgarden.com (Simon) received Dec. 20, 2004 I bought their album when it first came out (on vinyl,no cd's then!) and thought it was on par with the best of Gary Numan, Ultravox,Visage and the like. Would like to know where I can get my hands on a cd version, can you help ?? Many thanks. Don Ignacio: This is always available on amazon.com and the like. Cheerio.

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. He likes to watch.