Click on this link that'll take you back to the main Cyndi Lauper page, sisters ... Blisters of Frankie Avalon Overall Album Score: 7.1 out of 10 Here is a nice album! Sure it's still kinda crappy, but I can say with a strong degree of conviction that this is Lauper's most convincing artistic statement of her career. It's not her best album only because She's So Unusual had overall better songs on it, but I'm going to have to say that Sisters of Avalon comes pretty close in beating that one in sheer quality. Of course, considering I wasn't too ape-crazy about She's So Unusual, it's no big shocker that I'm also not ape-crazy about this. But there are several aspects about this album that I admire. Well, there are two aspects: They're the production and the diversity. Lucky us that Lauper decided to follow-up the well-produced Hat Full of Stars with an album that's even better produced. Even if the songs themselves aren't that well written, at least they sound nice. It comes off as polished pieces of nothing, but at least that's better than non-polished pieces of nothing that smell like sewage. The diversity of Sisters of Avalon is easily the most intriguing aspect of this experience, and I'd even say it's staggering. There's everything covered here from funk, techno, blues, folk, shoegazing, grunge, trance and ska. (I think I named everything.) Sure, she might be much better at techno than grunge, but it's fun to hear her at least try it. Well, the grunge was a serious misstep because she actually tries to twist her voice to make it sound grungey, which was just a horrible idea... That leads me to discuss the album's primary pit-fall that I already touched upon. The songwriting comes up woefully SHORT. That's no big surprise, because it's been firmly established by now that she isn't much of a songwriter. But the good news is that the songwriting is still better than usual, and this album does have, in my opinion, the best song of Lauper's career. I probably don't need to make anymore "controversial" statements, but there I go! It's "Ballad of Cleo & Joe." It's not really a ballad, but a techno with a great forward drive and extremely creative production standards. Likewise, the opening track is quite excellent and ranks as one of Lauper's career best. Some of the other material has merits and other material has very little if no merit. I'll let you sort that out for yourself in the track reviews! Beware that this is an extremely inconsistent album!! I don't recommend this to anyone other than her crazy fans, but non-fans might still be interested in checking out those two songs I mentioned, because they are rather interesting. Overall Album Score: 7.1 out of 10 (Easily the second best Cyndi Lauper album. That's not saying much, but it deserves to be said!) Average Song Score: 7.3 (This marks another improvement for Cyndi Lauper and it even contains a few of the best songs of her career.) Album Tilt: 7.0 (It's not too consistent, but the diversity is enough to win me over ... in theory.) Artist Rating: 7.0 (I'm continuing to make the argument "well, at least she's trying." Fortunately, that's a big factor in keeping this rating respectable.) Track Reviews Sisters of Avalon 9/10 Er, what??! I almost don't believe it! This is the best Cyndi Lauper song ever since her debut album. Easily. So, I have great tidings about this album already. The melody is actually interesting along with Lauper's convicting vocal performance. The arrangements are mightily tasteful (partly thanks to it being a comfortable six years away from the obnoxious '80s). They were certainly affected by the '70s revival mode, 'cos there's some retro funk guitar in here, but that just makes the texture quite interesting. Overall, this mid-tempo number has very good flow, nicely developed atmosphere and it's a joy to listen to. The melody might not be so golden, but that doesn't matter for once. There's even a funny bit of noisy distortion that constitutes an interesting ending. Awesome. Ballad of Cleo & Joe 9.5/10 First of all, this isn't a ballad. It's much closer to a techno dance song. But this is a pretty neat song anyway, and it's also her best work since She's So Unusual, and perhaps even the best song of her entire career. The melody is actually interesting with Lauper delivering a remarkable, soulful performance. The production is thick and involved featuring that pounding beat (which is fun, mind you), gypsy harmoniums and various sci-fi blips and beeps. The ending is even interesting. They don't fade it out or end it awkwardly. The actual instruments have something to say about it... They sort of whither out. Fall Into Your Dreams 8/10 Not so horrible, but Lauper's dangerously shifting back to her usual boring self. The melody is OK but nothing to write home about. The star of this show is the production, which is very nice. Those straight-ahead drums sound just right, and those occasional orchestral build-ups were great ideas. She could have been much more tactful with the chorus, which sounds a bit too generic in the adult-contemporary world. You Don't Know 7.5/10 A considerable step down for Lauper, although it still has class going for it. Not nearly as much, though, and she sure could have cut this by two or three minutes and not lost anything. The melody doesn't work that well, and that's its primary downfall! Lauper's performance is a tad annoying here, and the production isn't nearly as impressive. So... OK... Musically, it's not too notable. It's a mid-tempo adult contemporary song with no soul. Love to Hate 6.5/10 She's bringing up the electric guitars, and I like that. She's grunge, which is an interesting though not-too-successful twist. She really doesn't have much of a voice for grunge; she's trying to sound rough and unkempt, but this effort just makes her sound ... well ... crappy. Her voice would have needed more grit and body to be successful there. Otherwise, the song itself isn't the worst I've ever heard. It's passable though it would have needed more verve to be truly successful. Lauper's performance really ruins its potential anyway... Geez...... Thanks for the effort at least. Hot Gets a Little Cold 8/10 Wow, another decent song. She's been doing a lot of those lately. Sure there was the previous track, but many albums have one serious lapse in taste like that. This track would have scored higher if the melody weren't so childish, but this is still fairly tasteful. It's a ballad among the more shoegazing variety fully equipped with dreary guitar tones and her nicely strummed acoustic guitar. Oooh!!! Unhook the Stars 6/10 Yeah, this is more like I'd expect from her. A really boring song. Don't worry. It's still good that it took her this long to come up with such a song. Besides, I like that she's twisting her voice to sound world-weary although that's not always a great sound for her. It's fun to hear her try. This still turns out to be a plodding mid-tempo tune with little interesting to say. The instrumentals build-up as the track reaches its conclusion, but that doesn't matter much when there's NOTHING about the melody that's interesting. Despite this forward progression that I usually like in other contexts, the instrumental add-ons don't end up mattering much, 'cos I'm falling asleep through this... Searching 7/10 Much nicer though still imperfect. This is a dreary shoe-gazing song that's supposed to try to put us in a trance which will then open the floodgates for an array of production and sound to enter our minds. The only thing, it doesn't really put us in a trance, so Lauper's endless repetition of "I'm searching! I'm searching!" only makes us want to turn this song off and help her find whatever it is she's looking for. (Contact lense??) The one thing I like about this track is the atmosphere. Not so hypnotic, but it's developed. Say a Prayer 5/10 Lauper's sounding like Madonna from Erotica, which isn't just a bad sound for get, but would be a bad sound for anybody. Why is it a bad sound? BECAUSE IT'S BORING, THAT'S WHY. This has a plodding groove that works not one second. Lauper's trying to sound jazzy with her vocals, but it's like she's trying to put me to sleep ... which is ironic, because I have insomnia right now! I guess I don't mean that literally. Mother 7/10 Well, I'm definitely going out of my way to dislike this song! I do enjoy some of the production with its tribal beat and certain ethnic flutes and chants coming out of the speakers at intermittent times. This is the major redeeming quality to this even though the melody is as bland as can be. I'm thinking her ending was pretty crappy... She whispers "Mother! Mother! Mother!" as though she were in pain or something. Sort of ... uh ... pretentious. Fearless 7/10 There's a certain quality to this one that I like, and it's a real shame that Lauper couldn't have made it any less plodding. The atmosphere consisting of droning bagpipe noises and the occasional hit from a timpani was really well done. Lauper's melody has a British folky quality to it that's valuable, but it's not as engaging as it could have been. What a shame!! Brimstone and Fire 7.5/10 OK, this must be the blast from the past. It's a ska and she already tried that once before in her career, but this one actually works more nicely. The sound she chooses for the instrumentation was interesting and the chord progression seems a little bit strange for some reason. The melody should have been hookier, but that's a minor complaint here compared to the other tracks. Untitled This is 23 seconds of goofy studio noise. Hey, Lauper has a Brooklyn accent!! Yeouwwwww!!!! Did you buy this album? Click here to get your money back. (Or, give me your two cents worth about the album.)

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He burps vigilantly.