And I'm Sure That We All Want To Know What Goes On During Midnight at the Lost and Found

Overall Album Score: 7.0 out of 10

Uuuuuuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhhhuhuhuhuuuuuuhhhuhhhhhhh...

Meat Loaf completely decides that he doesn't need this Jim Steinman freak anymore and embarks onto the world of musicianship all alone! And, when doing this, success hardly greets him. Meat Loaf (who co-pens many of these songs) attempts to do songs in the exact same style as Bat Out of Hell. But, they're just not the same without Steinman.

Not that I ever really cared for Steinman. Unlike what everybody likes to say he is, he's not really a great songwriter ... but at least he's better than Meat Loaf! And, thus, all of these songs sound like a weaker version of Bat Out of Hell.

And who needs a weak Bat Out of Hell? Me no needo el weako El Batto De La Hello. (For that matter, it also sounds like a weaker version of Dead Ringer! Me no needo el weako El Muerte Ringer-o, either!)

All that said, there's not really a song that bombs in here. They all pretty much had me going through the album with happy content. Only one track got so high as a nine ("If You Really Want To," which is buried!) and a few made a decent showing with a score of an eight (the album-opener "Razor's Edge," "The Promised Land," and "You Can Never Be Too Sure About the Girl"). All the rest are entirely unremarkable ... but not terrible.

Overall Album Score: 7.0 out of 10 (This is a weak album! Do you like weak albums? No! I'd sooner have a cup of tea instead of beloved coffeeeeeeeeeeee!)

Average Song Score: 7.5 (While these songs are still fine, they are all very weak compared to Meat Loaf's earlier stuff.)

Album Tilt: 7.0 (This isn't the most enjoyable listening-experience that I've ever had. Weakness prevails over the album like a bat out of hell that's very thin.)

Artist Rating: 6.5 (This is ... again ... the same thing that Meat Loaf has been up to from the very beginning. Perhaps he should have quit while he was still ahead.)

Track Reviews

Razor's Edge 8/10

It was a difficult process for me to decide about where this song would fit on my scale. On one hand, it's an entertaining song. The tune, in general, was well written, the instrumentation and arranging was fine. On the other hand, however, this is awfully contrived! Just a typical Meat Loafian pop-operatic thingy? You bet! Is it as good as his previous efforts? I don't think so!

Midnight at the Lost and Found 6.5/10

This is a bit of a mess. This one is dominated too much by loud pounding drumming half of the time. The melody, you'll have to search for among the drowning arrangements. Although, I do concede that the song is listenable, for some reason. For the title track, though, this was disappointing!

Wolf at Your Door 7.5/10

Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee ... Another contrived Meat Loaf song! Dude ... Why doesn't he do something different? These can hardly even hold a candle to Bat Out of Hell. Although, I can and do enjoy "Wolf at Your Door."

Keep Driving 7/10

This one starts on the slow and ultra dramatic spectrum of the Meat Loafian operatic rock song and then it picks up speed ... and with it our souuuuuuuuuuuuul is supposed to be picked up and give it a beautiful thrill ride. I'm sorry. Not this time.

The Promised Land 8/10

This is that famous old song that Elvis once sang. Oooooooohhhhh ... Hey that's cool! If you can't write very good original material, you had might as well cover an old song that Elvis once sang. It's very *Vegasy*, actually, but it probably won't scare the children.

You Can Never Be Too Sure About the Girl 8/10

Well, hey! At least this original song has a neat-sounding groove to it! It's not quite as funkaaaaaaay as a groove of James Brown would have been able to pull off ... and, really, Meat Loaf trying to make his voice sound funkaaaaaaay like James Brown really seems to backfire here. But I like the groove.

Priscilla 7.5/10

Whoah! 80s dance disco pop! I didn't know ya had it inya! Alright, I'm going to dance along with it... Hold on while I clear off all the pillaged heads that are spread all over the floor in my room. ...Alright! I'm dancing! ... Hmmm ... I've danced to better 80s dance disco pop songs than this. But I suppose that it's okay.

Don't You Look at Me Like That 7/10

What? Couldn't he convince Cher to sing with him again? He sings duet with somebody that simply *sounds* like Cher. But it's not Cher. I know Cher when I hear it. And this song is really lame. It's sappy and the melody isn't good enough to allow me to bear it. Nevertheless, the pseudo-dramatics of this track are an appealing entity ... just like they were on Bat Out of Hell.

If You Really Want to 9/10

Well, I'll be hornswaggled! "If You Really Want To," you can have a catchy song! Oh my ... this is catchy ... not only that, but it successfully has all the goofy operatics that made Meat Loaf such a famous guy! ... He once did a show in Kansas, though. Today, he's washed up, but he was once a famous guy!

Fallen Angel 6.5/10

Baaaaaaabeyyyyy! Well, this is the standard, concluding track ... and I'm not impressed. Hmmmhmhmhmhmhmmmm... I've given up on this album long ago, actually. The signature Meat Loaf style has almost been totally worn out by this point. (Or it might have something to do with the departed songsmith that Meat Loaf always used to hang around with.)

Wait until midnight and leave your comments about this album here at the lost and found.