|
Kill 'Em All on the main page ... You'll find Metallica there ... Spill 'Em All
Overall Album Score: 7.5 out of 10 Metallica loves you and wants to have your babies. I don't say that about everybody, you know. That must make Metallica *really* special people. Hey, I don't wish to sound OLD, but holy crap, these guys need to, like, go to songwriting school or something. Because I have a really hard time sorting through these tracks and trying to find the SONGS! Yeah! ... If Metallica sat down and actually wrote sheet music to these "songs" before playing them in the studio ... or they were actually rehearsed ... let's just say that I'd be surprised. Alright, certainly the songs were rehearsed ... but they don't seem very well planned. And, admittedly, Metallica isn't about the songs. It's about the sound. Loud, heavy, and intense. As long as you have those three things, you can satisfy a lot of people in the world! (The rest of us just get this loud, heavy, and intense headache.) ... Unfortunately, I can't be included in the 'metalhead' demographic ... But I can, actually, appreciate at least Metallica's very strong instrumental abilities. I automatically hold them in, like, infinity higher regard than Kiss because of that. ... In fact, I *really like* Metallica just because of that. It makes me think that they're being soulless and loud for a reason ... not just because that's the only thing they can be. Really, if you're going to make a bunch of pointless songs of metal-noise, then Metallica are the dudes to pull it off, I suppose. I still don't really like this album. I'm so sorry! Structure (not to mention *melody*) is kind of an important thing to me. ... Well, a few of these songs do have a nice structure, but not all of 'em. Dudes. Overall Album Score: 7.5 out of 10 (If you asked me to be Roger Ebert, I'd give this album a thumb's up ... but only barely. It's difficult for me to distinguish between noise and music.) Average Song Score: 7.4 (Structure, boys!!) Album Tilt: 7.5 (There might be *'tude*, but I don't see the point of it.) Artist Rating: 7.5 (...Oh... they had enough balls, alright. But ... this isn't an artistic achievement.) Track Reviews Hit the Lights 8/10 Well ... at least they have attitude. I guess that's probably all you need if you're going to be a metal-head! The instrument-playing is Sanfrantastic and, indeed, that's the only real reason I can enjoy this song. There might not be an actual melody, but at least the instrumentation can be ... energetic. And ... uhh ... yeah. This be Metallica. The Four Horsemen 8.5/10 These guys are much better than Kiss ... (Is this stuff really supposed to be a new type of metal-music? ... Yeah, it's not a whole lot different from the heavy metal of the 70s, frankly. It's just a little more extreme ... and ... um ... that's one thing that I'm not sure we needed). And they certainly know what they're doing. The song is loud. The song is intense. The song is loud. The song is loud. ... And the song will never stop. (It's more than seven minutes long.) And ... it's pretty enjoyable, actually! The chops are nice. The melody is ... lacking. But the chops are nice! And it's loud! ... it's not very emotional, but .......... Ohhhhhhhhh, Metallica. Motorbreath 7/10 Yeah ... this song is stupid. But ...... heck, this isn't as stupid as it could be, I guess. It's just this heavy, fast-paced thing and evil screams (...and... I can't even attempt to figure out what he's saying... not that I really want to). Again, the instrument-playing is the real saver here, but ... I can only take loudness for loudness's sake and this heavy metal chaos so much!!!! Sorry!!!! (Am I an old man? I was only one year old when this album was released and I already think this new-fangled music is too loud!) Jump in the Fire 8.5/10 This is almost annoying ... but at least this one has very strong structure. Good, rip-roaring riffage on this one. ... And I can understand the intelligent, thought-provoking lyrics ("Come on! Jump in the fire! ... Come on! Jump in the fire!"). Yet, I like this song. I swear I would be a total metal-head if I wasn't so dang smart. (Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth 7.5/10 I would almost think they were trying to be "artsy" with this song ... what with that really distorted electric guitar playing throughout half of this bloody thing and nothing else. Then, sure enough, a rhythm section comes in and makes it more exciting ... Yeah ... this is a musical interpretation of pulling teeth. Thanks, guys! The song is rather tedious to me ... but I'd wager it could have been a whole heckuvalot worse. ... Ummm ... *trying to imagine how Kiss would have handled a song like this* **now vomitting* Whiplash 8.5/10 Okay ... my brain-cells have obviously deteriorated by now, and I have to give this an 8.5, even though I'm reluctant. ... Ohhhh ... I have to take a physics test tomorrow ... I hope I can repair my brain by then! But ... this song just seems awesome to me. Sure, these guys are, again, being loud just to be loud ... but there's some real attitude here. ... If you don't have attitude you don't gots ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGG. Phantom Lord 6.5/10 Sounds more empty here, I'm afraid. (...Although, this whole album is *empty headed* ... if there was supposed to be any attitude with this song, it obviously escaped me...) The first half of this is just noise with electric guitars and stuff. The beginning second half almost sounds like it's a real song! And then there's the noise again. ... Overall, this thing is pretty excruciating. No Remorse 6.5/10 Oh geezzzz ... You know ... people who adamantly hate this band, I can fully understand why. ... Metallica might know how to play instruments and make them loud and intense and stuff ... but I doubt they actually know how to write a *song* or make these "songs" actually entertaining for poor people like me to listen to! I'm trying my hardest, too, but this just seems like directionless mumbo jumbo to me. Not only that but there's more than six minutes of this. Seek & Destroy 8/10 Eh, better this time ... I don't feel like I'm sitting peacefully in my chair this time watching somebody take a jackhammer and pound my freaking head with it. ... This seems like more of a structured song this time, even though its primary concern only seems to be LOUDNESS. There's more to music than that, my friends! ... But this one is pretty good. ... It's nearly seven minutes long, though! ... Coulda been much worse ... Metal Militia 5/10 Phew! Thank goodness! Last song! Yay!! ... Oh, dear. I seem to have received a headache. ... Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn ... Again, where is the structure? ... Haven't these guys been to music school? You must have STRUCTURE if the song's going to be enjoyable by the human brain! (...Metal heads, of course, are the exception ... they don't have brains.) All I'm receiving on my end is a bunch of senseless noise. I mean ... dudes ... This is practically unbearable. Kill me with your comments here! ryusenshi_2@wanadoo.fr (Ryusenshi) received June 5, 2005 About the song "Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)". Actually all the song is played on a distorted BASS, there is no guitar here. The drums kick in later, but apart from that it is only a bass solo by Cliff Burton. Being a bass player myself, I guess I enjoy it more than most people. This album had a large influence on the early thrash metal scene, and it is quite good if immature. Metallica seem very young here (they were barely twenty years old at the time), and their excitement is perceptible. But they really became better later : their next album keeps all their energy, but adds a better sense of songwriting and (yes!) structure. |