Filing

Overall Album Score: 6.8 out of 10

One quality that separates Kylie Minogue from the vast majority of pop divas from the mid-'80s onward is the fact that she is 100 percent hot, and she doesn't need to wear that much make-up. Ouuuuuuch!!!!! Believe me, if I was 14 in 1988, I would have been watching MTV a lot that year (with the volume low so that my parents wouldn't know I'm doing it).

What perplexes me is why Kylie was never well celebrated in the United States. She's a superstar everywhere else in the world. Her music, though usually trite and throwaway, has that fun, carefree vibe that Madonna managed to create in her debut. The most important point (according to me) is that I never get any feeling that Minogue is pretentious, which is a feeling that I get FAR TOO MUCH from post-1984 Madonna albums.

But anyway, this music wasn't written by Kylie. It was written by the songwriting team of Stock, Aitken & Waterman (also referred to as SAW). Naturally, these guys are out to make millions of dollars, and ... well, they succeeded. They made a great choice choosing Kylie, who was already a big soap opera star in her homeland, Australia. She's a good singer and she has a good pop image. And, well, they didn't know it at the time, but she had staying power. Plus, the people love her! ... Except for Americans. They don't really care about Kylie. But I care about Kylie, because I think she's pretty. My weak heart!

Since this is her debut, and she wasn't even 20 years old, the producers wanted to give her the "girl next door" look. But like Britney Spears would repeat 10 years later, Kylie wanted to break that mold and start showing some skin and wiggling her hips seductively. She started doing this by her third album in 1990. I can only respond to that in a Homer Simpson kind of way. ......ggguguguguuguguhuuguhuuhuh....

Overall Album Score: 6.8 out of 10 (This really isn't better than any of the other albums from pop divas that I review. But I want to like it better!)

Average Song Score: 7.0 (One classic, one surprisingly good non-classic, bad cover versions and a butt load of awful originals. That sums it up.)

Album Tilt: 7.0 (Usually it's consistently mediocre with nothing that's actually *bad*.)

Artist Rating: 6.5 (Corporate pop at its mightiest.)

Track Reviews

I Should Be So Lucky 9/10

I may be crazy. This is a thoroughly irrirtating "girly" pop song, but it's also a thoroughly catchy song with a chorus that manages to soar! Oh, heavens! Can it be? Do I like this song??? Why is it that whenever I put this one, I become entranced in it? The song is 100 percent radio-hit pop for 1988. There's nothing about this that isn't dated. Worst of all, it was custom-made for teenage girls. Yet, it's entirely irresistible. Maybe I only like this song, because I pretend that Kylie is singing this about me. (Well, you never know ... Australian birds can be pretty weird.)

The Loco-Motion 6.5/10

This is a song originally written by Carole King for Little Eva back in the early '60s. There was the major '60s revival back in the '80s, so it's no surprise that this crappy remake was a hit. It wasn't such a bad idea that they remake the song. I just think the production could have been a little better. I'm not against electronic dance music at all ... Might I suggest a soaring instrumental interlude? How about something along the lines of Phil Spector's wall of sound? You guys should have made this song soar instead of flounder like it does...

Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi 7/10

This is OK but melodically average. The programmed music is up to formula. The instrumentals could have been so much better ... It seems like other artists would have made a song like this a little more enjoyable. But I don't actually hate this song.

It's No Secret 7.5/10

This is much better melodically, and this song sounds pretty good to me. The production is preprogrammed, but it's not overdone to any extreme extent. The song's lyrics are about a girl finding out that her lover was cheating. Oh, who could cheat on Kylie? I axe you!!!!

Got to Be Certain 6/10

This was another Kylie hit, but it's actually worse than "It's No Secret." The production isn't horrible, but the melody is rather bland. I'm not sure why, but the producers spend more time with the wrong songs. Weird.

Turn it Around 8/10

Ah, this has a very catchy melody, but it wasn't promoted as a hit anywhere apart from Japan. But I put it to you that this song has a nice, ABBA-esque melody. And the production, while I still say it could have been a lot better, isn't bad. ... OK, I'm stretching it, but it's true. I enjoy this song.

I Miss You 6/10

This is a filler track more to an extent than any of the other songs. The introduction is just lazy. Three raps on a drum, and then the song starts? Please. The melody is simple and trite, and there aren't any good chord changes. Hum.

I'll Still Be Loving You 7/10

This has a nice, toe-tapping rhythm. The melody is OK, and there are a few good chord changes. The production is OK because it's not overkill. This is no great song of Kylie's discography, but it's pretty good for a diva pop song.

Look My Way 7/10

This is totally harmless and it has a nice beat. I'd imagine that it would fare pretty well in the club scene, where all the happy club goers of the late '80s would have danced to it without caring that it's ... well ... kind of bland. But I do like the beat. It's a cool beat and something good to snap your fingers to.

Love at First Sight 6/10

A catchier melody would have served "Love at First Sight" well ... this song is just bland and trite. Pop songs need great melodies, but SAW was only willing to work hard enough to get a small handful of radio singles out there and not enough to actually fill an album. ... Well, that's the nature of corporate music, I suppose.

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