The ladies of the canyon are naked!!! ... Ladies of the Crayon Overall Album Score: 8.6 out of 10 Do you know what? JONI MITCHELL IS A HIPPIE!!!! Yeah ... that kinda sucks, you know? ... Well ... no ... It's perfectly okay if Joni Mitchell wants to be a hippie, but she should know one thing before she goes further: I HATE HIPPIES!!! ... It's not the pot-smoking, the bra-burning, or the sex in sleeping bags that I object to (rather, those things are kinda fun) ... it's the whole wearing sandals thing! ... YUCK!!! ... WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THAT I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR FEET!!!!!! ... And that long hair, too. What a crappy generation... Well, I'm kind of sad to say that Joni Mitchell's third album doesn't quite measure up to the uncanny qualities of A Song to a Seagull or the folky-glory of Clouds. Rather this is yet another almost completely different effort than any of those! What shall I classify Ladies of the Canyon as being? ... Organic pop songs? Not a bad idear ... but there's only "Joni Mitchell Magic" present in a select few of these ditties ... and there's a hippie anthem, too. Anybody who enjoys Joni Mitchell simply must own this album. There's really no question about that one. ... It scored an 8.6! ... That's pretty good, you know! ... All I'm sayin' is that it's not a great album. Mitchell writes nice songs, but ... she fails to give all of them great personality. Overall Album Score: 8.6 out of 10 (GOOD ALBUM!!! ... But ... she's only Ms. Magic on about three of these songs, and she's Ms. Hippie Carping About the Environment on one of them. The rest, she's just Joni Mitchell singing a song.) Average Song Score: 8.7 (There's a lot of simplicity on here ... simple melodies ... simple instruments. Sometimes, the songs are utterly gorgeous ... Other times they aren't as such.) Album Tilt: 8.5 (It's a fine album overall. It does get a bit dull, though.) Artist Rating: 8.5 (She shouldn't have let it get dull! But she remains rock-and-roll's premier singer-songwriter ... and she's freaking good at it, too!) Track Reviews Morning Morgantown 10/10 Mmmmm! Delicious! Joni Mitchell delivers a solid melody (featuring her absolutely lovely voice). It's a very organic song that features acoustic guitar (lovely played) and some nicely-placed piano. Yaaaaay!!! Joni Mitchell is awesome!!! And, Sarah McLachlan stinks! Yeah, that's right. I dislike Sarah McLachlan now, because I have the real thing, babies. Sorry to burst you pathetic little bubbles! For Free 9.5/10 (Okay, I don't hate Sarah McLachlan. For one, she's a lot hotter than Joni Mitchell. That cannot be denied.) This is yet another gorgeous song that uses a good old regular piano. I love the melody, I love Joni Mitchell's singing, I love its simplicity, I love that it's personable ... I'm in freaking love!!! I WILL NOW PROCEED TO KISS THIS ALBUM!!! **MUAH!*** (I sure hope whoever these "Ladies of the Canyon" are are very hot and very single. Because I just realized that I had my eyes closed.) Conversation 8/10 It's more upbeat this time ... and it's less priceless this time, in my opinion. It just doesn't have that **AWESOME** feel to it like those last two corkers did! Nevertheless, this is Joni Mitchell doing what she does best: singing songs and playing the guitar. What else do you need? Ladies of the Canyon 8.5/10 What's with the singing in the chorus? Mitchell does a lot of overdubs on her voice and it sounds ... uhhhh ... a bit sloppy? ... SLOPPY??? ... JONI MITCHELL??? Man! In the recent past, I've been having fantasies about her penmanship quality. I would always imagine that it was so perfect. Now I'm not too sure. I am crushed! Willy 8/10 Eh ... not too special. The magic's gone. Nevertheless, I still think this song is nice. It's keeping well with that whole organic-pop turn Mitchell's albums have been taking. Very nice piano, a rather nice melody ... great singing. Joni Mitchell is the best freaking hippie that there ever was. The Arrangement 7/10 BOOOOOOORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! ... Or am I just not being shallow enough to enjoy this song and let this freaking hippie speak to me? ... DO I WANT A HIPPIE TO SPEAK TO ME???? ... Hippies freak me out, dude. Seriously. ... And Joni Mitchell is boring here! What the crap? Rainy Night House 9.5/10 !!!! ... I was just kidding, Joni baby. I don't hate hippies. ... I don't even think you're a hippie. Not one of your songs is about burning bras or peace-baby or rolling ... things. ... And hey! This is another completely beautiful song where she manages to be magical, organic and FREAKING NOT BORING!!!! That bit with the choir in the middle of this was a luverly touch, tooo. The Priest 8/10 ...Eh... This hippie is talking to me again. This song's on the boring side, even though it's perfectly tasteful in the "artistic realm" ... but all of Joni Mitchell's songs are tasteful in the "artistic realm," and I'm sure her fans are eager to point that out. YOU HYPOCRITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (...Actually, I was just kidding about that ... you're not hypocrites ... hippopotamuses, maybe ...) Blue Boy 8/10 She's been watching too much of that old Nickelodeon show Doug ... there was a whole freaking family on that cartoon that was blue! MAN!!!! THAT SHOW WAS A TOTAL TRIP!!! ... Oh ... This is another quite lovely song ... Um ... piano ... organic ... hippies. Big Yellow Taxi 10/10 HIPPIES!!!!!! It's a shallow song, to be sure (man ... don't even deny it you environmentalist pussywillows), but it's a very nice pop song. It was also a big hit, too. That's because it was 1970 and people suddenly started to care about things like clean air and water pollution. ... I happen to think the hippies were all full of it. Frankly, fresh water freaks me out. ... And what good is Earth Day? ... They don't let us out from school on that day ... They just make us plant trees and get scorned at by our teachers for using aerosol cans. ... I NEED TO MAKE MY HAIR LOOK NICE!!! ... It's for the ladies, you see. Woodstock 9/10 An interesting song, anyway! ... It's very slowly-paced and kinda plodding, but hey! It's rather moving and stuff ... maybe Mitchell's most "artistic" song in here ... that doesn't mean it's the most enjoyable song of the album, but ... it's pretty good. The Circle Game 8.5/10 Why bring in the other singers? That chorus sounds like something I used to freaking listen to in Elementary school! (Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...) ((And these lyrics do sound a lot like pre school lyrics ... what the crap??)) But I still like this song! The melody is good! And ... uh ... Mitchell has a great voice ... and ... acoustic guitar ......... and the seasons ... go 'round and 'round ... and the painted ponies ... go up and down ...... PRE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...... I should go find me a jungle gym. I miss those freaking things. ... I used to bite people's fingers and make them fall! Send me your THOTS about this ALBURMGUM here!

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. His liver is the power-house of his body.