12 Thongs

Overall Album Score: 8.3 out of 10

Yup. This is another album from Randy Newman. And, whattayaknow! It has 12 songs on it! Unfortunately, though, the songs don't sound as heartbreakingly sad (yet oddly lighthearted) as it did on his debut album. These ones still have pretty good lyrics to them and ... yeah, the melodies still aren't that great, either! There's no melodic innovation (or innovation in any respect, musically) on this album whatsoever. These songs are usually neither bold nor overstated.

Rather, these songs are charming and usually understated. If that's a quality that makes you jump up and down in your seat in eager anticipation of listening to this album, then I think I know what you need to do the next time you log onto amazon.com. If you don't care that much about catchy pop hooks or gimmicky studio arrangements or rock-and-roll music in general, and you just want some music from somebody who actually sounds like he's real when he sings, then Randy Newman is your man! Unfortunately, this reviewer (Dick Clark) loves catchy pop hooks and gimmicky studio arrangements, and rock-and-roll music pretty much runs through his veins. So, Randy Newman ain't this reviewer's (Dick Clark's) cup of tea (or anti-wrinkle guacamole facial solution). Nevertheless, this reviewer (Dick Clark, again) thinks that it's cool that Randy Newman is a very sincere singer-songwriter, and this reviewer (Dick Clark) also thinks that Randy Newman deserves to win an Academy Award one day. Not necessarily for one of his songs but for, perhaps, best visual effects or best supporting actor.

Overall Album Score: 8.3 out of 10 (Do you like Randy Newman? ... Whether or not you treasure this album, I guess, will rely only on that fact!)

Average Song Score: 8.3 (12 Songs!)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (Album!)

Artist Rating: 8.5 (Randy Newman!)

Track Reviews

Have You Seen My Baby? 8.5/10

This is a pretty decent, lazy sounding R&B type song. Newman's vocal delivery is a bit more operatic-sounding ... He sounds a bit younger than he did on Randy Newman. That's not a particularly bad thing, but this isn't exactly the guy's trademark! Eh, what can I say, though? It's all good.

Let's Burn Down the Cornfield 8/10

This is interesting. Randy Newman appears to be giving us a type of spiritual. It's not the greatest thing that I ever listened to, but it's far from boring.

Mama Told Me Not to Come 8.5/10

This is a cute-sounding song. Nnnnnnewman continues to be as sweet and charming than ever with this excellent and very brief upbeat number.

Suzanne 8.5/10

I kind of like that threatening organ in this otherwise rather unremarkable slow song. Again, though, Newman is pretty much the most charming and sincere person on this side of the planet.

Lover's Prayer 8/10

Hooray! An upbeat piano ragtime-ish number from Hellooooo Nnnnnnnnewman!

Lucinda 9/10

Nnnnnnnnnnnewman gets all bluesy here! Hurueirohieroh!

Underneath the Harlem Moon 9/10

...This should be called "Underneath the Harlem Streetlight." I don't know why. ... Uh, this is more niceness from Randy Newman. Either you're going to love him to pieces or you're going to fall asleep. I'm pretty much falling asleep, but I can't deny that the guy is very sincere ... and entertaining ... if I wasn't the type of person who would rather enjoy "Iron Man."

Yellow Man 8.5/10

...Uh oh! This song title sounds racist! ... RACISSSSST! ... This is a jazzy, ragtimish song that is RANDY NEWMAN.

Old Kentucky Home 8/10

Stupid Randy Newman sings a stupid COUNTRY MUSIC SONG. Jerk.

Rosemary 8/10

Dude! This is another Randy Newman quality song that's both piano based and charming.

If You Need Oil 7/10

I need oil! I need oil! I need oil! ... I also need Lynyrdyrd Skyyyynerd, but I'm stuck with Randy Newman. This song is uncharacteristically boring for Randy Newman. I mean, I was kind of bored through a lot of his stuff, but I still liked it. This one just goes along verrrrry slowly. And it's almost like three minutes long! That's pretty much a Randy Newmian EPIC!!

Uncle Bob's Midnight Blues 8/10

Randy Newman the HILLBILLY sings us another song. Whoienrhoianoireng! And this is the last song that he will ever sing for us ... until his next album that is.

COMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMENNNT ON RANDY NEWMAN'S 12 SONGS here!!!