Brittle Criminals

Overall Album Score: 8.4 out of 10

The good news is Randy Newman has come up with some of his greatest tunes on this album. Let me ask you: how can it honestly get any better than "Short People," "Texas Girl at the Funeral of Her Father," and "Jolly Choppers on Parade?" ... I think not! Never before in a Randy Newman album have I freely given out so many 10s. Really ... there are some great songs on here!

Of course you have probably deduced by the overall 8.4 rating that there is a lot of weak stuff on here, too. Probably the most harrowing weakness is the overall flow of the album. Newman seems stifled here, for whatever reason, and the album doesn't work that well as an overall product. It seems unfocused. One moment, there might be a slow, sad song ... the next moment there's a more upbeat, ironic song ... and then there's a really dumb song that sounds like it was written for a yodeling cowboy. ... This is also the first time in a Randy Newman album that I felt such a thing.

Nevertheless, this album did receive an 8.4, and that ain't bad! If you already purchased Good Old Boys and Sail Away and liked it, then it would be logical to get this one as well. After all, it has some of his best songs on it! This album is good for something, then.

Overall Album Score: 8.4 out of 10 (A step down for Newman. However, this album clearly contains some of his best songs ... and some of his weakest.)

Average Song Score: 8.7 (A good bunch of songs, I say. It gets a little bleak at the end, but all is still good.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (Sorry, but the unfocused feel of the album is a point of distraction. It doesn't seem like these songs particularly were meant to fit together!)

Artist Rating: 8.5 (Oh, Newman is still a wonderful, sincere guy! Yay! And there are even some really good tunes on here. Some aren't that good, but oh well. He sounds like he means what he says anyway.)

Track Reviews

Short People 10/10

GREMLINS!!!!! ... For whatever reason, I decided to look up the lyrics of this song. It didn't help me figure out what it means. Anyway, this is a very cute- and fun-sounding song ... only it's absolutely cynical. ... Crap, who cares much about lyrics when this has such a great, upbeat tune and it's great to sing along with ... if you decide to memorize the lyrics! This was a pretty successful pop song, too, I believe. (I saw it on an old episode of Saturday Night Live, anyway. I thought it was funny that Randy Newman wasn't old.)

You Can't Fool the Fat Man 8.5/10

This is more of Newman's quaint'n'frank songwriting ... it's a fun-sounding song yet with cynical lyrics. Hmmmm! The melody is what holds this score down. It's good, but it's not great.

Little Criminals 8/10

A TITLE TRACK! WOWOWOOWOOOO! ... Anyway, I think too many lines of melody repeat too much. Newman's clearly trying to go into a more ROCK route what with all these drums. I like ROCK and I like DRUMS ... there's even some electric guitar in here! But don't let up on the TUNES, man!

Texas Girl at the Funeral of her Father 10/10

BLOODY CRAP! ... Well, this isn't rock music, all right. This is an utterly, terrifyingly sad song that ... oh ... brings out all the unmanly emotions in me. ... Excuse me ... *tracks down a tissue*

Jolly Choppers on Parade 10/10

Cool! Not only are there DRUMS here and stuff, but there's a good melody! It's a beautiful song that absolutely soars ... furthermore it picks up steam as it goes along. Oh! How gorgeous! ... One of the most gorgeous things Newman has ever done, I reckon.

In Germany Before the War 9.5/10

This is another one of Newman's absolutely sad songs. The instrumentation here is so downbeat that it's hard not to hold back a tear just listening to it. Unfortunately, such is not happening to me because I'm on drugs. But this is an immensely amazing little song. I think Randy Newman deserves an Academy Award.

Sigmund Freud's Impersonation of Albert Einstein 8.5/10

Did you know that Albert Brooks' real name is Albert Einstein? ... Yeah, freaky isn't it! ... Anyway, this is yet ANOTHER awesome song. ... Well, actually, this is very strange. It's sort of a typical (i.e. good) Randy Newman tune, but part of it incorporates the German national anthem and, for whatever reason, ends with the Christmas carol "White Christmas." ... Hmmm ...

Baltimore 9/10

What's with this song? Part of it sounds like a regular old Randy Newman song, but the chorus sounds like an AMERICA song! CRAP! ... But this song is actually pretty good. Even though this is the most radio-sounding song Newman's ever done to this point, I enjoy it. It has a good melody. The electric guitar is not exactly Eric Clapton, but it's almost refreshing.

I'll Be Home 8/10

I'll be home ... sleeping! Actually, this song isn't as bad as all that. It's another one of his slow, deep, and sad songs. Except this one isn't quite as deep or tuneful as "Germany Before the War" and "Texas Girl" was. Oh well!

Rider in the Rain 8/10

Randy Newman trying his hand at country music. Unfortunately, this sounds too much like old timey Tom Mix yodeling singing cowboy stuff than good old Randy Newman. ... Although, this song is far from being a waste. It's just not too special.

Kathleen (Catholicism Made Easier) 7/10

Hey! I'm not complaining about the lyrics! Newman is a good lyricist! ... I am complaining about the melodies. There's not much point to lyrics if it's not put to a GREAT melody. This melody is good, but it's not GREAT. ... Newman is capable of GREAT melodies, so there's no reason for me to praise this song! It's on the sloppier side, if you ask me. Newman seems to be attempting dirty blues, or something. It's a bit disappointing!!

Old Man on the Farm 8/10

Sad ... slow ... not too great ... but it's RANDY NEWMAN! Sorry I can't be much help anymore, but I really have to pee. Sorry.

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