Don't Take That Thirteenth Step! It's a Doozie!
Overall Album Score: 5.5 out of 10 Well. I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. (This cliché will never get old!) The good news: This is an album done by professionals. Three of these band members have come from several famous groups, including "Guns N' Roses" (Josh Freese ... a questionable drummer), "Tool" (Maynard James Keenan), and "The Smashing Pumpkins" (James Iha). Also, some of the songs on here aren't bad. The lyrics are decent enough to read (they're neither spellbinding nor particularly thought provoking, however). And there's some good diversity on here! When I saw that this album's category was "alternative metal," I thought it would be loud and monotonous. It is not, fortunately. The songs keep well-enough distance in style from each other (there's loud metal ... and there's even some peaceful, more acoustic tracks). In fact, some of the arranging these guys utilize on this record doesn't stray too far from what Enya is up to in the studio. (Kind of rich ... kind of classical.) All in all, the album is tasteful. The bad news: This album is BORING. That is, when we're not in one of the album's relatively high moments (which mostly occur during the first half). It's entirely decent, but it's not a fun album for me to sit through. The melodies seemed to be particularly neglected here. They don't contain nearly enough hooks to make this a memorable listen. If you're still buying CD's, I'm thinking you'd be much better off finishing that Iron Maiden collection before considering this. It doesn't start out on a high note, either, with a rather dull 7-minute long snooze-fest to get things going. The next few tracks, however, were done quite well. They utilize somewhat decent melody lines. The album gets really boring and banal in the middle. Then we get a surprising, unexpected classical music-inspired "The Nurse Who Loved Me" in the final half (a welcomed highlight!) And the final third after this point is slightly improved but still dull. All throughout, we get some regular post-grunge alternative songs, some which are on the 'poppier' side of the spectrum, and some on the 'heavier' side. Again, I like the diversity! I'm glad these guys were intelligent enough to do that, at least! And this ain't a commercially-minded album, either, which is certainly a noteworthy aspect. All right ... to fans of the bands aforementioned (particularly fans of "Tool" as Keenan is the one who started this band) would probably find it worthwhile to look into this album. It doesn't make a too terrible listen for you guys, I'm betting. However, it's hardly essential for the rest of us. Overall Album Score: 5.5 out of 10 (It's not a waste of my time ... but it's not very good, either. There are some worthwhile moments in here, however, but I would definitely think twice before investing money in this.) Average Song Score: 6.1 (Not a good set of tunes to pick from on here. However, there are two tracks on here that managed to catch my attention.) Album Tilt: 5.0 (Sitting through this album is a chore.) Artist Rating: 5.5 (Even though I have strong doubts about drummer John Freese, these guys are skilled and well-versed. The arranging, in particular, was very well done in spots. However, they're missing a key ingredient in their songwriting endeavors: MELODY!) Track Reviews The Package 6.5/10 This one begins minimalist (mostly just using a simple electric guitar and some stupid drumming) ... it picks up a little bit of steam and then dies out at various times. At four minutes, we finally get some loud, heavy metal guitar licks (not extremely entertaining, these ... they're just loud). All throughout the track, the hooks are nonexistent. And, at seven minutes and forty seconds, this track is way too long and boring throughout. Trying to keep an open mind about the thing, however, the song, which is diverse within itself and does sport a spirited vocal performance from Keenan, isn't relentlessly tedious. It is listenable. Weak and Powerless 7.5/10 This, which I feel like classifying as metal/pop, does have some hooks, albeit you'll be searchin' for 'em. The song is entertaining overall, skillfully done, the lyrics are fine ... it's not daring or anything (it sounds very regular for this day and age). It's not the greatest thing to hit the planet, but it works. The Noose 8.5/10 Quieter ... the melody does have a few good hooks in it. The arranging is kind of spooky ... kind of minimalist with a strange synth going on in the background. The track loses its mystical qualities when the totally uncreative loud, drumming strikes up ... but it's not bad. The coda of the album gets much louder and posh ... this part could have been more convincing. Nevertheless, this is overall a very good song and the album's best. Blue 7/10 This one's a normal song. It's hookless ... the only appeal it has lies in the arranging, which is loud and flooded. I'm straining, but I can find this track enjoyable. Vanishing 5.5/10 This is where the quality of this album really starts to sag. The vocal effects they use at the beginning and end of this song (which sounds like they were just pressing the up and down on the volume switch) is extremely annoying and obnoxious. Then, after that's over with, we really get some disgusting whispering. It's not scary ... it's just vomit inducing. The sort of musical interlude in the middle and end of this song, is enchanting and entertaining, however. A Stranger 5/10 The principle instrument here is the acoustic guitar. The melody line is dull and hookless. The arranging is fairly good ... I just find the song utterly boring! Yawn! The Outsider 4/10 Now this is loud, hookless, and banal. The more I'm listening to this, the more I want to decrease the score. I wouldn't classify this as a mess, but they ought to have concentrated making this one more enjoyable and not just about screaming and loud guitars. Crimes 4/10 A banal instrumental that relies basically on this stupid drumming (Who's the drummer here? Josh Freese! You suck!) and there's a quiet electric guitar line going on in the background. DULL. The Nurse Who Loved Me 8/10 The song still doesn't have the world's most convincing set of hooks ... but this is clearly a classical-music inspired, that's even slightly goofy in its arranging technique. Funnily enough, this is close to being like Enya! (Not something you'd really expect out of an album that has been classified as being "alt metal is it?") I don't really like this track, but I'm going to say this is my second favorite of the album. Pet 6/10 And ... as an extreme contrast to "The Nurse Who Loved Me," we get "Pet" which alternates from being a very loud metal song and a quieter pop song. Fortunately, this one is only slightly dull! The quieter parts are more entertaining than the loud parts, which are banal. And there's still no hooks to be had. Lullaby 4/10 I'm not sure what the heck's up with this one. This, which utilizes this guy's stupid drumming "talent" as the principle instrument and there's this really annoying squeaky, unintelligible vocal line going off in the background. Not interesting at all. Gravity 7/10 Well, at least this is a slightly interesting track. Again, I wish these guys would actually sit down and try coming up with some melodies. That's usually a generally accepted practice! However, I don't hate this track ... or maybe I'm just relieved that it's finally over! It's a quiet, kind of spooky track. It's not affecting, really, it's just not awful to listen to. The instrument choices were interesting. (My, my ... I'm being optimistic, aren't I? I'm really straining to like this track!) Um ... are you an A Perfect Circle Fan? Then go away! The rest of you can e-mail me here! |
All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He once beat himself with a stick.
