Go back to the Fartzy-Artzy Procol Harum page NOW! Are There Hot Chicks at the Procol Harum? Overall Album Score: 8.9 out of 10 Impressive! Impressssssssssssivo! Wow! Somebody combined classical music with blues-rock to create a new kind of art-rock ... which, as we say, is the daddy of Prog Rock. And, unlike many art-rock albums, it ain't boring! Their HUGE HUGE hit, which is included as a bonus track here, "A Whiter Shade of Pale" is almost entirely unique, and it holds its place today as one of the most utterly beautiful songs ever written for all times. (Quite an accomplishment, if you ask me.) So........ why should I talk about this track in the bulk of this review instead of discussing it below? This is the song that jumpstarted Procol Harum's career. Even the All Music Guide is in agreement: Procol Harum would have been diddly without that song By that, I mean they probably would never have existed in the same form without it, though both Gary Brooker and Robin Trower were destined for great things. 'Pale' was an absolute smash in its time! It had significant airplay on the radio and everything ... people loved it. After recording that, the record company wanting to take full advantage of their time-of-popularity made them VERY QUICKLY assemble a full band and record this album. (These songs weren't written in a hurry, though. Most were already penned before 'Pale' hit the charts.) ... they were just recorded with very little polishing and gloss. As I write this, I have all but three of the early Procol Harum albums, and I can say with some confidence that this is their best, even though their subsequent records are done with considerably more gloss. And, Procol Harum wasn't a band that only wrote one good song, either. They wrote tons and tons of great songs, and tons and tons of great albums! I know ... I have most of them! But, this is where it all started ---- the humble beginnings. Before I go any further, I should mention that, for some people, Procol Harum might not be an easy band to get into. For one, they can be boring. Many of their songs tend to just RAMBLE with no particular tune in mind (well... of course there's a tune, but they're generally void of too many interesting hooks, and that will probably bore many people). Also, there isn't a whole lot of diversity. But, I suppose the question is: Does it need diversity? As beautiful as this album is, perhaps diversity is only secondary. (Oddly enough, when a song pops up that tries to be different, it ends up being slightly misfired.) To close this part of the review, I would like to add that a major problem I encountered when I first got this album was that I couldn't listen to it all the way through. I would get through "Conquistador" and "She Wandered Through the Garden Fence," but after that, I'd merrily press the skip button until I hit that "Whiter Shade of Pale." After listening to that, I'd usually not feel like listening to anything else because it was so good, so ... I would listen to it again! And again! AND AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! Now that I've owned this album for quite awhile, I've had more opportunities to get to know the rest of it a little bit better. So ENJOY! Procol Harum's an utter delight! Overall Album Score: 8.9 out of 10 (This is truly an album that every serious rock fan needs ... even if they only listen to it for "A Whiter Shade of Pale." I must insist, however, that you purchase this album instead of the Procol Harum greatest hits. Every song on here is worth having.) Average Song Score: 8.8 (There are some GREAT songs in here! Most notably that "Whiter Shade of Pale" song, which blows everything else on here OUT OF THE WATER. That's not the only good song on the album, though!) Album Tilt: 8.5 (I don't know ........ after listening to this, I don't always get the feeling that I just listened to a great album.) Artist Tilt: 9.5 (Nobody can deny its historical importance. NOBODY! Procol Harum was an innovative band, and they exhibited it wonderfully. However, I can't also deny the fact that many of their tracks ramble without getting particularly interesting.) Track Reviews Conquistador 10/10 The album begins with this true keeper! A lusher version of this song made the radio airwaves back in the day as well. (Procol Harum's status as a one-hit-wonder is automatically exterminated!) It has a good, catchy, sort of Spanish-inspired, little tune ... and the instrumental passages are truly inspired. The second best track of this album, though barely. She Wandered Through the Garden Fence 9.5/10 It has kind of the same blues/classical music inspiration that made "A Whiter Shade of Pale," and it's memorable and utterly beautiful! The lyrics?? Hmm... I suppose I should explain something about Procol Harum's lyrics (written by Keith Reid). They're very poetic, which usually means two things. 1: They're beautiful. 2: Don't sweat it if you have a hard time interpreting them. This is an art-rock band! You're supposed to not understand stuff! Even though I should (and I have paid attention to the lyrics) I won't even attempt to tackle them. Sorry! I always got bad grades in high school when we studied poetry, anyway. At any rate, I'm into Procol Harum for the music! Something Following Me 8/10 This is one of those rambly songs! It just goes on and on and on without really any particularly nice hooks in it. Nevertheless, it's utterly beautiful, and it's easy to get caught up with the atmosphere. Mabel 7.5/10 Okay ... here's one of the most unique tracks in this album. I usually see it as a highlight (because it's so different), but I can't say I enjoy listening to it anymore than the relatively dull "Something Following Me." It's a very silly song resembling Vaudeville that is fully equipped with goofy sound effects. Yup. It'll surely pique your interest! Cerdes (Outside the Gates of) 8/10 This track begins with an strange (if not phenomenal whatsoever) riff and the song progresses to another rambling classical/blues Procol classic! Nicely performed and sung. Of course, this song is different from other songs on here, but it's easy to overlook that fact. A Christmas Camel 9/10 The track starts with scaling chords on the piano and descends into, yet another enjoyable Procol ramblin' classic. This one leaves me a bit more enthused than some of the other ones, so I give it a 9! Kaleidoscope 8.5/10 Actually... after listening to this song, it's easy to see the band's proto-Prog rock status. This track, in particular, sounds almost like something that Genesis would be up to 5 or so years later. It rambles, but this one is also quite enjoyable. Salad Days (Are Here Again) 8/10 Hmm... this one leaves me a little bit less enthused, but it's still, yet, another enjoyable classic! Do they ever relent? NOPE! Good Captain Clack 7.5/10 If you're listening to this album in the background while doing something else, this will also be another so-called highlight. Though ... as I'm listening to the album more closely, I find the track a little bit too silly with this electric organ sounding a bit too much like a cheap wedding. Repent Walpurgis 10/10 This track is famous because it is the closing track of one of my most favorite mix tapes!! NAAAAH! It's not famous for that! In fact, I'm the only one who's ever heard this mix tape. Well... I LOOOOOVE this instrumental track because it's so dynamic, scaling, and -- well -- just PERFECT. It's even memorable! Trailing on the coattails of "Conquistador," this is the third best track in the album. Though, as I'm listening to it right now, I am SO tempted to distinguish it as number two, but I won't. This is certainly one of Procol's career best. Bonus Tracks: A Whiter Shade of Pale 10plus/10 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh baby! This is the tamale of EVERYTHING. It's so beautiful ... so captivating ... so .................. GAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm speechless! Oh man! This is one is --- without a doubt --- one of the greatest songs to ever come out of rock and roll. MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT! In fact, I think I'm going to shut up about it and let you listen to the track yourself. Just go out and get this album NOW!!!!!!!! THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lime Street Blues 8.5/10 This was the original B-Side to the single "A Whiter Shade of Pale." It surprisingly takes a more bluesy turn (whereas 'Pale' takes a more classical turn). If this would have been in the actual album, it might have helped to spice things up a little! Homburg 9/10 I believe this track was another single. It's utterly beautiful, but it's pale compared to "A Whiter Shade of Pale." Even though it rambles, it rambles with some interesting hooks! Yet, another priceless addition to this album! The Rest: I'm not going to count the other seven bonus tracks in the album score. What's included are alternate versions of "Salad Days (Are Here Again)," "Mabel," "Cerdes (Outside the Gates of)," and "Something Following Me." And then, we get alternate versions of songs that will appear on Procol's following album Shine On Brightly including the title track, "Magdalene (My Regal Zonophone)," and "Quite Rightly So." Especially, the addition of these last three tracks makes purchasing Procol Harum even more worthwhile! GET IT! NOW! Do you agree with this review? Or am I just an incorrect, ugly frog with warts on my beak? Leave your comments here!

All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He endorses most over-the-counter painkillers.