Cold Earth
Overall Album Score: 7.8 out of 10 I totally skipped reviewing Flash Gordon. I listened to it and, I can say without hesitation, that that isn't an album that I need bother reviewing. There are not very many actual songs on there! So ... I'm moving onto Hot Space. Well, who really would have guessed that Queen would have embraced the whole 80s dance scene so closely? ... I mean, really! They evaded the whole disco thing when that craze was popular. ... But now they're doing the whole Prince and Michael Jackson thing. ... Well, I guess they did, after all, have that dance hit "Another One Bites the Dust" on The Game, so I suppose that might have dazzled them into making some more clones. But still! This is QUEEN! They're supposed to be making a bunch of goofy piano-pop songs! Not CRAP DANCE CRAP like this CRAP! (And now, a Howard Dean scream: Bleaggggggu!) So, is there anything good about Hot Space? Certainly! For one, there's a really good John Lennon tribute called "Life is Real" on here that sounds very much like an actual John Lennon song! And then there's "Las Palabras De Amor" which is an awesome song that sounds like classic Queen. AND THEN there's that incredibly popular (but not really phenomenal) collaboration with David Bowie "Under Pressure" ... which is a fun song, but it sounds like they sort of made it up as they went along one day in the studio. "Cool Cats" is probably my favorite actual dance song ... even though it's slow dance. Really, there's not a bad song on this album ... they're just below par compared with other Queen albums such as The Game and Jazz. So ... Queen fans who've been evading this for whatever reason should probably own this. There's my advice to you. ......... Now, I'm going to go do something constructive. Like homework. (Oh yes ... I'm in college, aren't I? I should probably do homework one of these days.) Overall Album Score: 7.8 out of 10 (This isn't a great inclusion into the Queen discography, but it's hardly a bomb.) Average Song Score: 8.3 (For what this album is, (CRAP DANCE CRAP) the song score could have been much worse! Besides, there's a few really good tracks in here... and stuff that isn't crap dance crap.) Album Tilt: 7.5 (It's an interesting album, I'll say at least. It's unfocused, though.) Artist Rating: 7.5 (Their decision to write more dance hits to the degree of "Another One Bites the Dust" wasn't the greatest thing they could have done ... and then seemingly random inclusions of miscellaneous other songs didn't help!) Track Reviews Staying Power 7.5/10 Drum machine, bass synths, and awesome horn arrangements characterize this ... rather feeble dance song. It has class and it has a kind of catchy melody, but it doesn't seem to warrant much respect. It's not catchy enough or danceable enough to be considered one of this genre's elite ... and it's not artistically valid enough to be appreciated in that respect. So. Hm. Dancer 8/10 This is a little better. The melody is a catchier, but the essence of it hasn't really improved. I really don't like these drum machines. Come on!!!! You have a real drummer, so why don't you use him????? DUDESS! This is too much 1982 trend following if you ask me, man. Back Chat 8/10 The songs are getting catchier and more fun, but this is still utterly shallow. This song is glossy and classy. For dance pop, this is pretty good, I guess. There's not much else I can say about it ... it's dance pop. There are scant few licks from Brian May (but they're appreciated when we hear them) ... but what a waste of his talent!! I think I would rather have seen Queen getting more into the heavy metal scene of the day. Body Language 7/10 I like that deep bass synth, but the melody is absolutely doo doo ... whenever there actually is a melody. ... Although, I will say that this song is interesting. Heck, it might even be artistic. But who cares about that if the song isn't particularly enjoyable? Action This Day 8.5/10 This is the most robotic-sounding song yet in the album ... but for some reason, it's also the most awesome song I've heard in the album yet. Well, I know the reason! It's catchy!! It has a nice chorus, and it's really fun. I like the synth scales and the saxophone thing in the middle of this. It's hardly "Another One Bites the Dust," but it works. Put Out the Fire 8/10 Whoah! This song sounds like regular old Queen song! It has a regular old Queen melody and Brian May is allowed to show off some of his licks and scaling. Unfortunately, this is only a mediocre Queen tune, but ... oh well. I appreciate it, anyway. Life is Real (Song For Lennon) 9.5/10 This isn't a regular old Queen tune. Rather this song sounds, appropriately enough, like a John Lennon tune. As a result, this is easily the best song on this album. And it's not dance pop! Yay! ...... Heck, this song (which of course is a tribute to the fallen John Lennon) is even rather touching. Nice! Calling All Girls 8.5/10 I've always kind of liked this song. I like the dance groove, and I think the melody is catchy. It's not so danged 80S-POP THAT I CAN'T STAND IT!!! Rather, this is the type of dance song that Queen should be making. This time, the guitars are given center attention to the sound, and the melody is quite catchy. Los Palabras Del Amor (The Words of Love) 9/10 Yay! More normal Queen songs! This is one of the better ones on the album ... it has a good melody. The synth scales even resemble classic Queen (this song could very well have been done on A Night at the Opera ... except they would have used a piano instead of a synthesizer). A good number, I say! Cool Cat 8.5/10 Okay, we're back to those drum-machine-fied dance songs. Although, this is decidedly a "slow-dance" song, and the class and gloss is still totally intact. ... So, I actually like this one. Mercury gives an inspired falsetto vocal performance and I like those guitar grooves. Also importantly, the melody is usually pretty catchy. Under Pressure 8.5/10 This song is a combination of two of my favorite things! Queen and David Bowie! For some reason, though, I could never quite fully love this song as I probably should. Nevertheless, I really like the groove (which, as you probably know, was later used by Vanilla Ice and his signature little (c)rap song). I like the melodies in the song, too, but it changes awkwardly way too often and so it seems unfocused. I think they probably made it up as they went along. So the song is nice, but it's not a totally inspired thing. BONUS TRACKS A remix of "Body Language." Who cares? ... Tony Blair. All hotties in this space, e-mail me your telephone numbers here! |
All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. In spite of the photographs, he really is a handsome devil.
