The Miracle I Didn't Vomit
Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 This album is kinda like the last one except the great songs aren't quite as great and the sucky songs suck even more. ... And Queen still keeps rolling along. Actually, as you probably know, at this point, Freddie had already announced to his fellow band members that he had AIDS and didn't have much longer to live. However, he wanted nothing more than to continue writing and recording songs. The band thought this would be their final effort ... but (thank goodness) it wasn't, 'cause Innuendo is pretty good, though far removed from the band's peak! And ... ohhhhh ... The Miracle is pretty terrible. There are about three songs in here that I decided to give a 9 to. Songs such as "The Invisible Man" and the last three or four tracks never should have been recorded. *barf*. You know, even though I'm only giving this album a 6.3, I still have quite a fondness for it. This was among the first albums I've ever bought! Of course, I was totally misguided, but ... me and this music go waaaayyy back, man. And ... umm ... I wish I knew what I was doing back then. Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 (Did you ever really have much hope for this? ... NOOOOOO!!! But, anyway, it's not a total waste. "Party" and "The Miracle" and "I Want it All" are good enough for me.) Average Song Score: 7.0 (The album starts off well enough... and then we get a lot of miserable tripe.) Album Tilt: 6.0 (Get out the barf bag if you actually want to sit through the whole thing. ... Your money wasn't totally wasted, though. There are enough entertaining songs in here for ya.) Artist Rating: 6.0 (1989 pop sucks.) Track Reviews Party 9/10 Party! Party! Party! Party! Party! Party! Oh yes! It's time to party like it's 1989! ... This song is awesome in that 1989 way that only 1989 could ever do. It's got very loud drums, obnoxious vocals (but it's still Freddie Mercury) and rip roaring electric guitars (from Brian May, none other) and ... uh ... it's pretty fun, actually. Queen never really pretended to be anything else. Khashoggi's Ship 8/10 Unfortunately, it is still 1989. And the drums are still loud. And ... yeah. This sounds like pretty ordinary Queen-pop. The melody on this one is nice enough and, again, it is still kinda fun. The Miracle 9.5/10 Ohhh... anyone who dared follow Queen all the way to this 1989 release probably love Cheese Queen. And this song is as cheesy as "I'm Your Best Friend" ever was. And the good melody is still pretty much intact. The lyrics are dumb, but ... dudes, seriously. Don't pay attention to Queen's lyrics if you know what's good for you. (Don't you just dig the end of this song? ... Well, I do. I dig it, baybe.) I Want it All 9/10 AWESOME!! The money I spent on actually buying this album wasn't wasted, after all! ... Speaking of this song, it's FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!! This is such a wonderfully HARD DRIVING song that I can hardly stop myself from taking off my shirt, adopting a trailer trash accent, and boarding my pick up truck, yawwwwwwww. Invisible Man 4/10 Oh, to all you people out there, 1989 still sucks. This is an embarrassing piece of garbage even for Queen. The vocal effects are annoying (though, rest assured, they're not Madonna-annoying) and .............................. this song sounds a lot like the "Ghostbusters" theme song. And it sucks. Breakthru 7.5/10 There was some sort of pop song sometime that has the exact same melody as this, but ... I hate that song, and I don't really feel like figuring out the name of it. At any rate, this version is better just because it's more hard rocking! AWESOME HARD ROCKING QUEEN!!!!!! Rain Must Fall 8/10 Oi! Madonna! Try to be as cool as Queen! ............ AND THEY WERE HASBEENS!!!!! This sounds much like a Madonna pop song (that adopts a sort of festive, mambo groove) except it doesn't suck. ... I mean, it's not excellent, but it's gold when you put it right next to Madonna's sexy mug. Scandal 8/10 Dude. Talk about the excesses of 1989. This takes that concept to new heights. And ... somehow ... even though it's overblown to oblivion and it's like 6.5 minutes long, it's kinda awesome. My Baby Does Me 7/10 Who do you think you are? MICHAEL BOLTON??? ... If the melody weren't so danged goofy (THANK GOODNESS) and that crazy vocal performance (that sounds almost like coughing at times ... and, no, Mercury's voice wasn't that weak yet), then I might have trouble distinguishing this from stupid butthead Bolton. ... Not that this is a particularly good song. It's all goof and no ... um ... foof. Was It All Worth It 6/10 I think Queen kidnapped John Williams and forced him to write the intro to this song (which Williams later used for his soundtrack to "Home Alone"). And ... uhhhh ... dudes. What it all worth it? This freaking song from 1989 is all bark and no bite. Although, it's loud. I'll give it that. Loud is good. Unless it's Kiss. Kiss is best listened to with the volume off. Hang On In There 5/10 You know ... I'm really glad that Freddie at least lived long enough to last until 1991 so that he could cut that Innuendo album. ... That's not really a great album, exactly, but he left on "The Show Must Go On." That's how I want to go!!! These songs at the end of The Miracle totally blow. Chinese Torture 3/10 This is a verrrry peculiar song. At least it's honest--it lives up to its name. BONUS TRACKS I don't care. Don't wait for a miracle. Send your probably-retarded thoughts about this Queen album here! i really don't want to be e-mailed at the moment. (Paul Houston) received Oct. 22, 2005 Mostly, I agree. but...........you can't count hang on in there and chinese tourture. they were bonus tracks. And since you didn't count I go crazy on the works, you can't count these two. also, you must admit that the guitar solo in the invisible man is freaking awesome!but, yeah, that song sucks. and the funny thing with party and khashoggi's ship is that most people like one, hate the other. i hate pary, like khashoggi's ship. now i'll go leave a comment about your review of made in heaven. |
All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. Please don't touch my butt.
