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The Kirks

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10

Queen = All the Awesomeness of Everything in the World Bundled Up Into One Freaking Awesome Baaaaanddddddd!!!

Best of all, Queen makes a noticeable improvement with this follow-up to the mostly-awesome Hot Space. This album, Queen is not ready to fully get away from the bloody synth-pop (...remember, this album has such Queen staples as "Radio Ga Ga" and "I Want to Break Free"...) but there's also all sorts of other things in the album.

There's about two HEAVY METAL songs ("Tear it Up," "Hammer to Fall.") ... and they are good at this 80s metal! ... I always thought they would be good at it! (Even though I already knew it before I thoughts it ... never mind.) There's the wimpy pop stuff ("Keep Passing Open Windows") and the teary-eyed "Is This the World We Created." There's even another "A Thing Called Love" in here by name of "Man of the Prowl." Everyone who dearly misses A Night At the Opera should be glad to hear Freddie's operatic contribution "It's a Hard Life." Queen even throws in a real piece of crap ("Machines (Back to Humans)") in here for old time's sake, because no Queen album is complete without some CRAP.

Apart from the crappy song, everything on here is a lovely showcase of Queen's talent. All 9 out of 10 songs are well written, fun, and entertaining. ... Unfortunately, I feel compelled to lump this album with News of the World because of the random feel (...I mean, at least Hot Space had a DANCE theme going... this album doesn't seem to have anything going...). But this is a good album because it has good songs in it. It's not the greatest rock-and-roll album on the planet ... heck, this is just average even for Queen. But this is a fun band (and a fun album!), and there are a lot of good, clean, fun Queen songs on here. What more convincing do you need????

Overall Album Score: 8.1 out of 10 (This is hardly the subliminal Queen album, but it's one that gets an unfair bad rap!)

Average Song Score: 8.4 (The presence of one stinker and without the presence of any great number of classics, this song score is left to be merely *good*.)

Album Tilt: 8.0 (Unfocused, it might be, but it's diverse!)

Artist Rating: 8.0 (This band is hardly washed-up. Only one song's bad, and there are even a few classics.)

Track Reviews

Radio Ga Ga 9/10

These lyrics are stupider than "Stupid" Ben McStupid the Stupid Shepard of Stupidville, Pennsylvania. However, the song other than that proves why 80s music is so awesome! With those idiotic drum machines and mesmerizing robotic synths ... and then those smooth synths in the background. Furthermore, this thing is dragged on for nearly 8 minutes giving it an epic feel. Of course, this band is full of some of the most impeccable songwriters in the business (This song was written by Roger Taylor). What's there not to like about this song? ... besides the lyrics ... and the length ... and the 80s synth-pop stuff ... CRAP! I like this song! It's among Queen's finest of the 80s! You turds don't believe me, do you????

Tear it Up 9/10

...So much for the synth-pop! This is HEAVY METAL hard KISS type STUFF from the 80s! ... Although, thank goodness there's actual *TALENT* in this band, and they can make a cheese heavy metal song be really awesome!

It's a Hard Life 8.5/10

Ohhhh... the operatic opening could only mean that this was by Freddie. And, yes, this is a familiar (and welcome) retread into A Night at the Opera Territory. Some nice piano stuff, good melody, the electric guitar ... AND NO SYNTHESIZER!!!! This is just super solid, classic Queen stuff.

Man on the Prowl 8/10

Sort of a lesser attempt at recreating "A Thing Called Love." ... Not that "A Thing Called Love" was particularly GREAT to begin with! ... Although, this song is certainly more energetic than that one was, and I really like that energetic piano work at the end of this.

Machines (Back to Humans) 6/10

Basically a big fat flop! The song is a cross between the synth-pop incarnation of Queen and the classic incarnation of Queen. The melody isn't very good, the song just seems sloppy and unfocused. Elements of it are entertaining (like that synth groove is kind of awesome), but overall ... ho hum.

I Want to Break Free 9.5/10

WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! John Deacon. That guy is *ON A ROLL* (with butter and jelly). I mean ... he wrote the best Queen song of the 80s so far ("Another One Bites the Dust") and, now, the second best Queen song of the 80s is by JOHN DEACON!!!! This is synth-pop by all accounts (and it's much like "Radio Ga Ga"). It's lengthy, it's super-catchy, and it's got an awesome epic feel. Even more awesomely, they don't let the guitars hide under the rocks. The actual song itself definitely deserves a 10. The only thing I don't like about it is that stupid Queen collage thing at the end, retreading through all the other songs in the album. Didn't somebody tell them that doing that sucked on Jazz? ... BLUH! This is a great song, though. Super duper wuper fruper, and stuff.

Keep Passing the Open Windows 8.5/10

FREDDIEEEE ISSSSS AWWWWEEEESSSSSSOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE... It's true! He might be dead, but he's super-cool! This song has a good melody and it's fun and energetic. It makes me feel HAPPY INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!! ... Good song!

Hammer to Fall 8.5/10

This is a nice power-80s hard rock song. It has a lot of energy, a nice Queen tune (but average for he band). Nice power riffs and some good electric guitar soloing (that we've been MISSING DEARLY) ... but this isn't great by any means. It is fun, though! Hooray!

Is This the World We Created 8.5/10

Oh, this is decent as well. It's a slow, pseudo-thoughtful song that'll NOT have you all teary-eyed about the state we left the stupid world in, but you'll probably like the melody! ... Nice melodyyyyyyyy!!!


I Go Crazy

A good song! And it does sound crazy! ... Wonderfully crazy! And it's powerful and super fun! RINOHIENROIGNEORINGOIENORRRRRRRIGIRIGIRIRIGINRGIN. This is a 9. But I'm not included in the average song score 'cos it'sa bon's trak.

Radio Ga Ga (Extended Version)

Oh, like we really need that song extended ... at least it's not REMIXED (i.e. pooped on).

I Want to Break Free (Extended Version)


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All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. He has a big wick.