Click upon this link to go to the main REMEMEMEMEMMMM page... 'Sup Overall Album Score: 8.2 out of 10 Don't you remember the good old days when you could listen to an R.E.M. album in 40 minutes and then get onto whatever else you need to in life? Yeah, you'll probably be feeling such nostalgia with R.E.M.'s 1998 album, Up, whose subtitle should be: "Up: With the Running Time." This album, well over an hour long, is LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG! Their last album Nude Adventures in Hi Fi was pretty long, too, but it wasn't this DREARY! It's like Michael Stipe & company were a bit disappointed with their lack of good melody for this one, so they decided to just drown out the songs with so much dreary synth in the mixing room so that we might forget. Well, as it just so happens, we do sorta forget about it! Many times throughout the album, the songs lush sound are just BEAUTIFUL! ... Other times they're simply "lovely but kinda boring." So, this isn't a bad album at all. It's just long and not exciting. It's pretty to listen to, but people with short attention spans (me) can get kind of antsy if I'm not in the mood for DREARY SYNTHSCAPES. Sometimes I'm in the mood for such things, but not often. All in all, this was a worthwhile effort from R.E.M. It sure could have been done better and it *definitely* could have been done shorter, but it was done okay! All in all, this is a unique and valuable addition to the R.E.M. discography. Bastards. Overall Album Score: 8.2 out of 10 (This is a pretty album that's consistent and has some memorable moments in it. Unfortunately, it's a little too crappy for its own good.) Average Song Score: 8.5 (Contrary to popular opinion, there are songs in this album.) Album Tilt: 8.0 (Contrary to popular opinion, this is an album. It's pretty well consistent and utterly gorgeous in many spots, but it's too DREARY for its own good. And it's also LONG. Oh, man! I coulda been doing something CONSTRUCTIVE in the time it took to listen to this album! Where did my life go?) Artist Rating: 8.0 (They did a very nice job producing these songs ... perhaps too good a job.) Track Reviews Airportman 8/10 Whoah ... with all those sounds, it's kind of difficult to pick out the actual *song* in here! But, are those neat sounds or what? The whole calm and dreary quality to this makes me wanna Zen, or something. I have no idea what "Zen" is, but it makes me want to do it just the same. Lotus 10/10 A song! It has a neat groove, a good melody, and ALL THOSE WEIRD SOUNDS!! R.E.M. sure did a nice job mixing this sucker ... I love songs that are not only well-written but lavishly arranged. I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff! Mmmmm! This song is eXcellent. Suspicion 8.5/10 This song is dreary and wonderful ... but it's too dreary to get a song score more in the 9-range. The chorus, however, is utterly gorgeous!! If I were to only score the chorus, I'd totally be giving this a 9.5. Hope 9/10 That weird bagpipe-sounding synth is really neat. I really like the tune, too. This song is CRAZY!!!!!!!! And, I love the craziness of it. Michael Stipe is one insane *#$(*$%($*%er. This song gets even better as it reaches its conclusion, even though it basically just recycles the same old thing from the beginning. At My Most Beautiful 9.5/10 DANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! Really, if R.E.M. would only have given this song a *perfect* melody, this song really would have been something SPECIAL. Currently, this song is only "special" in lowercase letters. Nevertheless, this song is utterly gorgeous, and it practically makes my heart melt ....... I wish my heart wouldn't melt, though, 'cause that really gives me chest pains. The Apologist 8.5/10 Very nice sounds! ... There seems to be one of every type of instrument in this song! ... Even though that makes the song interesting, it also makes it a bit overbearing ... and it doesn't quite save the song from being melodically dreary. Eh. This is a good song, though. I like it. Sad Professor 8/10 Sad professor ... Sad song. I think it is safe to say that this song, as it starts out anyway, is the first truly dismal moment of the album. And then it picks up steam about 2 minutes into the thing and it redeems itself. Hooah! You're in the Air 7.5/10 R.E.M. is booooooooooooringgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. But the plethora of sounds layered on top of each other in such a lush fashion is alluring, indeedy. Nevertheless, this is the dreariest song of the bunch so far. Walk Unafraid 8.5/10 Oh wow. After that last song, I almost totally lost interest in the album. But I'm listening to this song, and I'm like: "Hey! This song is pretty good! It has a melody, it's not very dreary, and it's really quite interesting!" So, I woke up, took note, and gave the song an 8.5. The End. Why Not Smile 8.5/10 This is a pretty song! Yes, it's DREARY, but it's PRETTY. The prettiness cancels out the dreariness this time, brother. Daysleeper 8/10 She was a daysleeeeeper! One way ticket, Yeah! It took me so long to find out! And I found out! ...... Oh wait. Wrong song. Uh... Yeah, this is just another dreary, stodgy old R.E.M. song from this mentally insane album. But as many mentally insane albums are prone to create, this song is gorgeous, too. Diminished 8.5/10 You *are* diminished, Michael "freaking" Stipe. You used to be the coolest alternative-rock star around, and now you're just a track-layering NOBODY. ... No, actually, Michael's still cool with me. It's the other band members who suck. And Donald Trump, too. I don't know exactly what he did to effect Up, but I'm sure that it couldn't have been positive. Parakeet 8/10 The parakeet's dead. He died of death. Falls to Climb 9/10 AIRPLANE NOISES! AIRPLANE NOISES! ... Oh wait, those aren't airplane noises. That's just a synth. And then as the song progresses, there are more synths. And then Michael Stipe starts to sing. And he sings more. And more. And more. And he never quits. ... Well he does quit after awhile. Actually, this is a pretty good song. It's pretty. It has a churchy-organ kind of feel to it that I find alluring and reassuring about it. It's quite loverrly. Okay, this LONG album is finally over. I've got to go vomit in my mother's flower bed in the front yard now on account of all that liquid that I just drank (that I thought was orange juice, but now I don't think that was the case). Anyway, I'll catch ya later ... at the next R.E.M. album. Up up up up up up up up up!

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. Up!