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Use your steel wheels and roll on out of this here Rolling Stones page ... Teels Swheel
Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 Well, as the scrolls of history would have it, Steel Wheels is a phenomenal return-to-form for the Rolling Stones. Both Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, apparently, had forgiven each other for whatever the heck they did to tick each other off, and in 1989, they were ready to go back to the studio and make a new album! For some reason, though, I fail to see why this album is so much better than Dirty Work. The studio work had certainly improved, but I can't really say that the songwriting material is so much better! ... There is not a single song on here that I'd call "excellent." A few of them come close, but nobody takes the cigar. Not only that, but there are plenty of songs that I'd call tedious! ... Clearly, Steel Wheels wasn't the comeback album that I thought it would be! That all said, The Stones do try to revisit quite a few of the styles they flourished on during their past. "Sad Sad Sad" was a clear attempt at trying to give us another "Start Me Up" or "Jumping Jack Flash." "Terrifying" is a disco send-up from Some Girls. "Blinded By Love" is a little country rock to soothe your soul! And who can forget the psychedelic thingy "Continental Drift?" ... I wish I could forget this whole album! It's so pale!!! The rest of the songs seem to be good-or-bad late-80s hard rock numbers or good-or-bad adult contemporary. Be my guest to skip this. Overall Album Score: 6.3 out of 10 (This is The Stones' alleged return-to-form ... and it's not that good. The material is rather weak.) Average Song Score: 6.8 (Actually, not a whole lot better songs than Dirty Work I discover surprisingly. Of course, the final verdict on that would be up to YOU.) Album Tilt: 6.0 (This album isn't really that terrible, but it is a bit trying on my attention span.) Artist Rating: 6.0 (Clearly, the Stones are trying harder than they were on Dirty Work, but the material is still rather weak.) Track Reviews Sad Sad Sad 8/10 This is a clear attempt by The Stones to revive their old Jumping Jack Flash, exciting riff-based rock fests. They do an alright job with it, but they fail to put together a riff that matches the stuff from their prime era. Nevertheless, as an exciting rock-fest, this is quite alright! The melody is pretty good, and there's a lot of bashing energy in here. This is a return to form. Mixed Emotions 6.5/10 Hmmm ... I don't like the melody to this one whatsoever. It has a pretty good driving force behind it, though, with good instrumentals and arrangements ... That's not enough, however, to make a great song. This is rather tedious to listen to. Terrifying 7/10 This is a bit of a send-up from The Stones' disco days (ala Some Girls) ... but why is this song bad???? ....... Hmmm ......... It has a nice groove ... they just don't put it to that good of use. Blah. Hold On To Your Hat 6/10 Wow ... Mick just screams the lyrics amidst a toneless backing. Again, the only real redeeming quality of this is the energy ... which we should feel grateful for. But who cares so much if the music is toneless? Hearts For Sale 8/10 Much neater and much more enjoyable as well ... although, it still leaves quite a bit to be desired. The grove was very nicely put together, but the melody really needed a bit of work. Just the same, though, it is uninhibitedly listenable! That's always a positive thing! Blinded By Love 8/10 It's a sick world when the country-rock number is one of the best songs on such a diverse album. A sick sick world!!!!!! The melody on this doesn't have immaculate hooks or anything ... but it does have an alright melody. (Actually the melody reminds me a bit more of traditional Italian music, but that's clearly a country backing ... perhaps this is a Spaghetti Western.) Rock and a Hard Place 7/10 This isn't good ... this isn't bad ... there's a lot of good energy in this, but it fails to inspire. I NEED TO BE INSPIRED! ... OH, SENOR JAGGERIO! INSPIRE ME! Can't Be Seen 8/10 Who the hell is that singing? ... Is that Keith? ... I have no idea, but I thought Keith's voice was poop and this voice is all right. This song has an all right melody ... perhaps one of the most memorable ones on the album ... but it's not great even in the slightest. Again, I think the instrumentals are pretty good. The song still leaves quite a bit to be desired, though ... I think I ought to go re-listen to Let it Bleed or something. Almost Hear You Sigh 5/10 There is NO EXCUSE for adult contemporary! ... NO EXCUSE!!!!! ....... No, Mick, you didn't *almost* hear me sigh ... my sigh is as clear as a bell. SIGH!!!!! (That chanting toward the end of this sounds stupid ... did they recruit their choral singers from an insane asylum????) Continential Drift 7.5/10 Whoah boy! ... The Stones try to even recreate the overblown weirdo psychodellic stuff they did on Their Satanic Majesties Request ... and it's utterly bizarre (and there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for it). Now, this isn't a total failure ... it's interesting. I don't think I've ever heard something quite like this. It has a lot of those old 60s sonic noises through it. The melody and harmonies were clearly inspired by Indian music. Yet, the instrumental backing was clearly produced in the 80s. I just don't know what to make of it! It's not tedious in the slightest, but on that same note, it's not particularly enjoyable. Break the Spell 4/10 Have you ever stuck your finger inside your bellybutton and remove this really strange lint stuff? After that, have you tried smelling it? ... Isn't that just sick? I don't even know what that smelly stuff is or where it comes from. My theory is that it's a parasitic alien embryo that keeps on trying to grow back and I have to continue picking it up so that it doesn't ever try to house itself in my stomach ....... As far as this song goes, it's not very entertaining, is it? ... Or particularly listenable. That's why I usually spend my time picking my bellybutton when this one was playing. (That dumb, monotonous riff makesah me go crazee in da head.) Slipping Away 6/10 This adult contemporary type ballad is so interesting that it's ... it's ............ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oops! I've just fallen asleep. So, until next time, I am Don Ignacio, king of your hopes and defender of your dreams. Fare well, everybody, and remember to tune back next week for another exciting episode called: "The Musical Calculator." Comments. Please. Here. |
