It's Finger Stickin'

Overall Album Score: 9.5 out of 10

What can I say about this album that everyone else didn't say better? ... So I had might as well just not say anything! Goodbye!

... Okay, I'm going to continue on with this review ... begrudgingly ... as it is one of the most famous albums that was given to us, graciously, by Mother Rock-and-Roll.

One thing I might like to say about Sticky Fingers that not everybody says (I think) is that this is a bit of a step down from Let it Bleed. I mean ... these are both super-terrific albums and everything ... it's just that Let it Bleed is a better egg than Sticky Fingers is a better egg. ... Oh geez ... I'm beginning to sound like Dan Quayle ... Um ... *pops a pill* ... Whoah! Okay, I'm ready to begin! ... On with the review thingy ...

I'm not standing on the cow-patty alone when I say that "The Rolling Stones" are among the most super super rock groups on this great green planet of ours. And I think Mick Jagger was right when he said: "All this world of rock needs is a huge close-up picture of my waist, and there would be peace." And, indeed, that's what the world got: a close-up picture of his waist. ... Although the peace bit somehow evaded us. Unfortunately, now that the CD world has taken over, Mick Jagger's principles have become more superficial, as this picture of his waist is no longer quite as large as it used to be. But I'm sure that if you stare at it for a long time, like I have, you'll find that the waist is larger-than-life, because ... because ... oh man! I must have popped the wrong pill again!

Sorry ... um ... I'd better close this section of the review promptly. But first, I'd like to say that this album is cool. "Wild Horses" is gorgeous. "Brown Sugar" and "Bitch" kick so righteously that it'll make the world's soc(football)cer players utterly jealous. And, I went to bed with your mother. Read the rest of the review. Good day.

Overall Album Score: 9.5 out of 10 (Perhaps Sticky Fingers isn't as great as a lot of people like to romanticize it as being ... but it IS great.)

Average Song Score: 9.4 (This is an extremely respectable set of songs that are jam-packed with classics! There are a few minor sinkers in here that kept this score from being much higher.)

Album Tilt: 9.5 (This is one of the more memorable albums from the Rolling Stones discography. It's full of some very touching and some mightily kickin' moments!)

Artist Rating: 9.5 (This was a minor step back from the Rolling Stones in terms of quality. However, their previous album Let it Bleed is a very difficult album to beat. Nevertheless, this is a very worthy follow-up.)

Track Reviews

Brown Sugar 10/10

Oh hey! Here's a hard rock song that can put a little zip into the airwaves that surround the general vicinity of your ears. It's a CLASSIC song that's about ... um ... oh ... how unsubtle! Alright, I don't judge the lyrics for nuttin, but with the year being 1971, and the curtain of the sexual revolution being lifted even more, it left the Stones room for being really naughty as opposed to just being naughty in spirit. Ah! Who has time to pay attention to lyrics when you're so busy busting your moves in the living room? We're a shallow race of peoples.

Sway 9/10

And the Rolling Stones hardly let up their hard-rockingness with "Sway." It doesn't kick nearly as much as "Brown Sugar," but the electric guitars are really awesome here (particularly toward the end). The melody, while its still much stronger than what most bands were ever able to get their melodies to be, isn't that good. ... Nope, if you're going to enjoy this song, it's going to be for the electric guitars.

Wild Horses 10plus/10

Oooooooh! How lovely! It's like Keith Richards killed me with his electric guitar from "Sway" and I died and went to Rolling Stones heaven (which currently isn't occupied with too many Rolling Stones ... I can't find Brian Jones anywhere, but there's this one dude here who calls himself the "Great Ian Stewart") ... anyway, as evidenced by the 'plus' attachment to that 10, I like this song a lot. I'm thinking about asking it to marry me. It's such a calm, beautiful song that ... ooooooh ... you should have heard "Wild Horses" before, dangit. I can't describe it. Just listen to it.

Can't You Hear Me Knocking? 10/10

Oh man! This is the coolest heavy metal riff since ... since ... um ... "Helter Skelter," maybe? I don't know what this heavy metal riff is the coolest since, but I know that it's the coolest since something. Believe me: this is a cool riff! I think I'm going to ask it to marry me. This track is nice 'n menacing ... just like classic Rolling Stones ought to be. (And that riff is cool.) Oh ... I forgot. There's other parts to this song other than the riff. It's 7 minutes long and the end of it features a quite ominous-sounding lite-Jazz thing that sounds like something that Kenny G would be able to do if he popped a few pills and developed a second personality -- one that's interesting. And, dude! That's some nifty electric guitar playing in here, too! This is a cool song ... even when we don't get to hear that cool riff. But I assure you that the riff is the coolest of the cool.

You Gotta Move 8.5/10

Bluuuuuuuuuuuuessssssssssss... Boooooooooooooooo... I still find this one entertaining, but I can't help thinking that it's ... just ... NOT COOL! After those four wonderful songs, I'm just not too excited when this straight blues song strikes up. However, certain aspects of the singing and the instruments (which border on being goofy) make this one entertaining for me.

Bitch 10/10

Whoah ... Mick Jagger and Keith Richards follow in the same path that Paul McCartney pioneered and started writing songs about their dogs. Except, I suppose that Jagger/Richards never gave their pooch an actual name. So ... Um ... Never mind about that ... I was attempting to be goofy, but it didn't work that time ... Carry on ...

Oh! This is another super kicking song that has me jumping all around my living room, putting lampshades on the heads of my hamsters, and wiggling my backside around totally in the spirit of THE ROLLING STONES. Um ... yeah. This is another completely awesome song in this completely awesome album. It's just delivered with so much spirit and so much energy ... no wonder the Rolling Stones have lasted so many decades ...

I Got the Blues 7.5/10

Aw dude! ... After all of those utterly exhilarating songs, we get this sort-of-snoozer. This one is also more of a straight bluesy song, and the sheer professionalism of the band keeps it from sucking (and Mick Jagger's vocal performance is excellent, to say the least). But it's a bit disappointing. Good thing that this is the only relatively disappointing track in here.

Sister Morphine 9.5/10

Whoah ... morphine! ... Oh ... Morphine is bad for you. But this song is good for you! Okay ... I find it a bit depressing, but ... it's art ... I guess. The tune is pretty good (it's not the album's best or anything, but it's very strong) ... what I really enjoy here are those licks of the guitar from Keith Richards amidst this rather quiet song. ...sounds like a hippie song to me... These lyrics were allegedly written by Jagger's girlfriend Marianne Faithful who originally sang this one ... but due to the explicit drug references, it didn't get much distribution. The Stones were in a better place to get this one distributed ... 'cause they got the power. HUUAH!

Dead Flowers 9/10

"Dead flowers" sounds a bit anti-hippie to me! Cool. Ooof! This song is country-rock! ... I guess that's okay, though. It's pretty entertaining and fun to listen to. I guess. Yeah ... it is. I think the lyrics are excellent here. Thought provoking and ... excellent.

Moonlight Mile 9.5/10

Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonlight mile! I can't help but wish for something as gut-wrenching as "Wild Horses" was, but that's like asking for something more famous than "Abraham Lincoln." "Moonlight Mile" pales most strongly in comparison, but it's still a gorgeous tune (the instrumentation might have been a little bit more focused in my opinion), but it has all sorts of feeling wrapped up in this package sporting a WONDERFUL performance from Mick Jagger. All of these factors still makes this a memorable album closer. Yet another nice one!

Don't let yourself get Sticky Fingers! Leave your comments about this album here! ... That didn't make any sense, did it ...