Steal some Wheels and roll back to the main Saxon page. Wheels of Steel Wool Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10 Wheels of Steel. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels of Steel. Wheels of Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. Wheels ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof Steel. I Steal the Wheels of Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. I Feel the Wheels of Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. I Like Roast Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeef. I'm afraid I'm going to have to inform you that this album review isn't going to get much more helpful than those previous seven lines, which were some of my uttermost moments of brilliant philosophical meandering, so... Therefore, I am going to try to sum up this album as best as I can in this here paragraph. (After reading this, you don't have to read anything else on this page.) Wheels of Steel by Saxon is a more worthy and more entertaining follow up than their eponymous debut album. That's for sure! Nevertheless, it does reek of early-80s heavy metal-ness and there's no reason for any non-guru of early-80s heavy metal (i.e. normal people) to pick this one up. Just the same, I don't regret any of the time that I wasted listening to and reviewing this album. I think this band was a well-refined one with kick-butt instrumentation skills and some altogether decent songwriting talent. My hat is off to the boys. Okay. You can quit reading this review now. I assure you that the rest of this review is equivalent to pig's garbage. Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10 (All in all, this is a pretty entertaining early-80s heavy metal album. And you can't say that about every early-80s heavy metal album. Heck! You can't even say that about every heavy metal album. Heck! Heck! You can't even say that about every early-80s! Heck! Heck! Heck! At least it's not Kiss!) Average Song Score: 7.7 (Saxon-Saxoff. Saxon-Saxoff. Saxoooooooon-Saxoooooooof.) Album Tilt: 7.5 (Saxon.) Artist Rating: 7.0 (Saxoff.) Track Reviews Motorcycle Man 7.5/10 ...Whoah... motorcycle noises ... You know, I'm always going to regret the choice I made to go to college instead of becoming a biker. ... Oh wait ... I'm in college? Shouldn't I be studying for something? Oh! I forgot! I decided to become a college student and not a biker. That's right ... Um ... I'm supposed to say something about this song, aren't I. It's okay as long as you like loud, quick, and stupid wannabe heavy-metal. Stand Up and Be Counted 8/10 Hello. My name is George Harrison. You might have seen me appearing on other educational films such as "Three Reasons Why You Shouldn't Sneeze in Front of an Electric Generator" and "How to Make Pottery Out of Monterey Jack Cheese." Today, I am here to talk to you about "Stand Up and Be Counted" by Saxon. As you can see, it utilizes a lot of what we might call "heavy metal" electric guitar licks, and there's plenty of them. Unfortunately, it also has what we might call too much "banality" and "ho-hummity" to have what we might call "greatity." Nevertheless, my stars told me this morning to enjoy whatever heavy metal song might come your way. So I shall, and so I do. 747 (Strangers in the Night 9/10 Hello. My name is John Cleese. You might have seen me appearing on other educational films such as "Getting Rid of the Hiccups By Slitting Your Throat" and "Why Women With False Fingernails Should Not Operate a Toaster." I am here to tell you about "747 (Strangers in the Night)" by Saxon. This track has what we might call "a very good melody" as well as having what we would also call "Wow! This was performed very well!" Because my name is John Cleese, I am going to close this track review by cursing you. "I CARRRRRSE YOU!!!!!!!" Wheels of Steel 7.5/10 Hello. My name is Susan Sarandon. You might have seen me appearing on other educational films such as "Don't Fill Out Your Tax Returns With Brown Chalk" and "It's a Hard Life When You're Trespassing on Somebody's Doberman-Pincher-Guarded-Property and You're a Ham." I am here to tell you about "Wheels of Steel" by Saxon. This song is what we might call "The Title Track." It is a song that we might call "okay." The instrumentation is rather "boring," and it also has what we might call "Having a Bad Word in it." Freeway Man 6.5/10 Hello. My Name is Michael Lawrence. I am the owner and operator of "Don Ignacio's Music Reviews." You might have seen me appearing in other educational films such as "Why You Shouldn't Eat Chocolate Pudding With a Corkscrew" and "Never Admit That You're Running Out of Creative Names For Educational Film Titles." He might also add that "This is Going to Be the Last Stupid Simpsons' Rip-Off He is Going to Do For These Track Reviews." Nevertheless, he is "Going to Finish Off This Track Review in the Same Style." I am what you might call "On Crack." I am "Sorry." Speaking of "Freeway Man," it is what we might call "Utterly Inessential." That's not only so because it is "So Short," however. That is also because makes me "Yawn." See the Light Shining 7/10 I SEE THE LIGHT ... shining ... Hey! This is more heavy metal! As you might just have well guessed, it's another semi-cheesy heavy track. It sports some decent performances all around ... but it does piddle around in what me might call "Banal Territory." Street Fighting Gang 7/10 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... Interesting little ditty here. It's being played with wonderful skill and everything that needed to assure the world that Saxon was better than Kiss ever was. But ... um ... let's skip to the next track, shall we? Suzie Hold On 9/10 Oooooohohohohooohh! Hey! This song is 'okay!' ... It's really OKAY, actually. The heavy metal riff is really nice ... the cheesy melody is catchy and enjoyable ... Oh yes! I think it's time to celebrate! Hello. My name is Roger Moore. You might have seen me appearing on other educational films such as "How to Discreetly Pick Your Nose at Intersections" and "Why It's Important Not to Misunderstand Your Barber When He Asks You If You Want Mousse In Your Hair." (I'm a stinking liar, aren't I? ... Ain't it wonderful to be me?) Machine Gun 7.5/10 Hello. My name is Jimmah Cahtah- ...and Saxon completely closes this album with something that's a loud heavy metal song! I must say ... that was unexpected. A bit of a disappointing effort. Apart from some totally *wikkid* electric guitar solos, this is making me feel as stodgy and boring as an ex-president. Nevertheless, the electric guitar solos are totally *wikkid*. Dat eezt guut enuff fer meeeee. Unless you are an ex-president, then you have no excuse to not e-mail me a comment here!

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. His name is Jimmah Cahtah.