Get a piece of this link by giving it your mightiest click... Pieces of Crepes Overall Album Score: 8.0 out of 10 As opposed to The Grand Illusion, this album is not only listenable, but enjoyable! ... MAN!!!! The songs are much better this time around. The melodies are catchier ... the instrumental arrangements are less nauseating ... There are even a few geeky delights in here (looking specifically at "Lords of the Ring," which I do feel embarrassed for enjoying). Indeed, this album is so good, that I think it's time for a celebration. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!! PIECES OF EIGHT = NOT SUCK!!!!! ... That was fun. And now: A man taking off his clothes. Man: [scratches behind] I feel a breeze. It feels nice. ... And now: The rest of the Styx review. This is no great classic of rock-and-roll, though. There are good songs on here, but none of them achieve utter greatness. ... But I never thought Styx was much capable of achieving utter greatness. This is much more than I would have previously given Styx credit for! ... Enjoy it while it lasts, my friends. Overall Album Score: 8.0 out of 10 (Whoah!!! A GOOD ALBUM!!! ... They must've figured out a few things.) Average Song Score: 7.9 (Not a bad collection of songs ... surprisingly. "Lords of the Ring" is the album's weird delight. "Sing for the Day" and "Great White Hope" being not too far behind. They're horribly pretentious just like Styx in their previous albums, but ... they seem to work this time.) Album Tilt: 8.0 (A bit to be desired ... but ... um ... this doesn't make a bad listen, altogether.) Artist Rating: 8.0 (Still pretentious, but they're finally showing some real taste ...) Track Reviews Great White Hope 8.5/10 Actually pretty good. It's a dramatic AOR stadium anthem about some sort of boxer. The song has a decent enough melody and it really manages to rock. The instrumental interlude in the middle of this isn't bad, either! (And I always enjoy trashing Styx for their instrumental interludes.) Even the glitz and glamour that Styx surrounded themselves with this album was nicely done. I get caught up in it, surprisingly enough. I'm Okay 7.5/10 It's hokey, but THIS IS STYX!! If their songs aren't hokey, then they don't exist ... or they're semi-awesome like "Great White Hope." This song is actually pretty good up until you get to the chorus (cue in hokeyness). Until then, I really like the melody. It's hooky and it was well-arranged (I like that organ)! ... Again, the chorus sort of ruins this, but ... whatever. This is Styx and this is okay. Sing For the Day 8.5/10 It's even hokier than the last song ... hokey even compared to Styx's own standards. This song is so cheesy that someone should launch it on the moon with its brethren and then forget that you put it there. Nevertheless, with the decently-written melody and the strong supporting instrumentals ... can you really expect me to hate this? It's too happy! Happy! Happy! Happy! The Message 8/10 A minute-long synth intro to the next song. It uses a lot of pulsating synths. ... It could have been a lot worse. Lords of the Ring 9/10 I couldn't find much of a parallel to J.R.R. Tolkien's book, but ... does it matter? The singing is really horrible on this song and the lyrics might be worse, but ... THERE ARE A CRAP-LOAD OF HOOKS IN HERE! AND THE CHORUS IS GOOD!!! ... The orchestration might be Styx's most synth-heavy ... and that doesn't even suck. Either Styx is suddenly awesome, or I'm losing my touch as a music reviewer. Both, probably. Blue Collar Man (Long Nights) 8/10 An AOR outing for Styx ... and it's surprisingly tasteful and tight. The melody is pretty catchy that rock organ is pretty dark and scary and ... the instrumental interlude isn't awful. Another decent one! Surprisingly! Queen of Spades 7/10 It starts out rather dull and uneventful (though nicely, I will admit). And then this really awesome riff starts up! OOOOooooo!!! ... And the song is sweet for awhile. And then after the 800th time they repeat the chorus, it gets old. The song ends with a pointless electric guitar solo, and then it gets all proggy. ... PROG FREAKS!!! This song would have worked better if it was more focused. ... Rambling songs are best left to *good* prog bands. Renegade 8/10 I don't really care much for the way it starts out. It's slow and a cappella ... it automatically screams PRETENTIOUS at me! ... But then the song starts up, and I'm like ... hey! This is another altogether decent rocker. It certainly works better than most of the other rockers that Styx tried. ... No wonder this is the "classic" line-up. Pieces of Eight 7/10 Um... This song is not suck. Indeed, this is far from suck. It's a power-ballad ... not too catchy or anything, but it's listenable. The melody leaves a lot to be desired, but ... I don't care about that. I still have those brain-poundingly awful songs from Crystal Ball clear in my poor little brain. Aku Aku 7/10 The song title sounds like a Pokemon. The song itself sounds like a typical dreadfully boring Styxumental. ... I don't care for it, because it doesn't really have a melody. But then again, I don't hate it. ... I don't know why I would hate it. Pieces of Eight = Pieces of Poop? Or not? Send your useless thoughts here!

All reviews are copyrighted by Michael Lawrence. He courts the sparks.