Grumpy Davy

Overall Album Score: 8.7 out of 10

Let me express to you, in layman's terms, how bizarre this album is.

It is like two ducks making love inside a bon-fire and then two hobos dangling empty sardine cans over that fire on a string ... and something involving a drunk ninja and a hot-pink feather duster with a tiny ballerina inside of it ... and monkeys taking your picture while walking through a college campus ... And ... um ... that pretty much sums it up.

Is this really even music? ... It seems this is the biggest argument concerning this album than anything else. And I say: I don't care! Anything that makes me think about drunk ninjas and hot-pink feather dusters and tiny ballerinas is music to me. Frank Zappa: You're weird!

As far as "songs" go, there aren't very many of those. There are songs of sorts that both open and close the album (the opening sounds like a game-show tune and the closing sounds like a beach-party song). The middle is interlaced with intermingled Stravinsky-like songs, weird conversation, and a lot of experimentation with tapes ... WEIRDDDDDDDDDDD ...

Obviously, this CD isn't for everyone ... but, chances are, if you're one of the few people in the world who have the right personality to actually be into Zappa, you'll probably love this as if it were one of your own. If you're not, then ... um ... Go buy a freaking Cyndi Lauper CD ... and then go to your room and worship that poster you have of Madonna taped on your wall, freak ... and send Michael Bolton a fan letter ... and ... go watch "Spice World" on DVD for the 14th time ... And see Hilary Duff in concert ... and ... and ... and ...

Overall Album Score: 8.7 out of 10 (Zappa's ode to weirdness! It's for nobody except those who celebrate such a thing.)

Average Song Score: 8.5 (Music for the weird soul ... yeah.)

Album Tilt: 8.5 (Um ... It's usually listenable ... I'd rather put on a Beatles album ... but that's not the POINT, is it!)

Artist Rating: 9.0 (That's what this album is meant for, anyway! Zappa's pushing his own boundaries.)

Track Reviews

Lumpy Gravy, Part One 9/10

Yay! Crazy music! ... Yay! Frank Zappa! ... (I think, maybe, Frank Zappa ought to be synonymous with "crazy music" ... definitely with this album.) It starts out with a rather fast paced song that sounds appropriate for a crappy game show theme song or circus music ... yeah. It's also pretty good as far as that sort of music goes ... And then a mid-tempoed song pipes up ... that seems like a mildly twisted form of elevator muzak. ... As the song progresses, it gets even more twisted. ... And then there's these very brief soundbytes and brief, crazy excerpts of music. ... And then there's dialogue. ... Yup ... Dialogue. ... And it's pretty weird, too ... I think they're talking about dark clothes or ... dark water, or ... heck, I don't know. I'm sure that it doesn't matter. ... After awhile, this jazzy song that sounds like it's being played on a worn gramophone and then sped up ... And ... then some really strange noises progress ... obviously, Zappa was playing around with tapes and stuff. ... And ... pig noises? ... More weird music ... More really weird sounds ... a baby, maybe ... And then there's some talk about blowing up an engine ... some weird music that was sped up too fast ... AND THEN almost regular soundingish music (that's still utterly twisted, but ... not comparatively speaking ...) it gets stranger as it progresses ... And then more dialogue of some dude talking about the jobs he had (kinda funny) ... Some ghosts of dialogue is overdubbed on it ... AND THEN harmonica music!! (Insane stuff) ... And some really weird xylophone stuff amidst pig noises ... and sped up drums ... FLUTTTTTTTESSSSS ... And then some almost-normal orchestra music (yayyyy ... normality is good sometimes ...) But then weird sped-up things proceed ... More playing around with the tapes ... Weird artsy (a la Stravinsky) music with clicky noises and funny drums proceed ... and then it's still weird but more orchestral ... and ... and ... and ... ummmmm ... it's over now. ... That was weird.

Lumpy Gravy, Part Two 8/10

"I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!" ... Even weirder dialogue begins Part two (probably mumblings from someone who's high, and it's as fun to listen to as someone who's high). Then evil alien cough sounds follow. And sped up conversations and music (he's playing around with the tapes again). And he very goofily sings something about merry-go-rounds ... and he starts talking like he's high again. (Dudes ... was Frank Zappa really high, or was he just faking it?) ... This conversation actually goes on for awhile (featuring this really annoying laugh ... but it's kinda funny-annoying...) About four minutes into this, we get a really jumbly song thing involving randomly-played (so it seems) percussion instruments. Then a crazy orchestra strikes up (playing nothing, really). And ... a piano starts pounding ... and a horn-band starts playing weird, Stravinsky-like notes ... And ... craziness ensues ... And the conversation pipes up again ... ((((((((((EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)))))))))) ... more weird music ... silly Spanish guitar ... (crap ... why is Part Two so much harder to describe than Part One???? ... this is wewid ...) And crazy drums ... (unlike the drum solos of Blind Faith, this one's interesting) ... More really weird conversation from high-people continue ... and some more Stravinsky-like orchestrations ... and ... even more ... and then some even more far-out, high conversation ... AND THEN, I guess to make this thing full circle, we get another happy, upbeat song that sounds like it belongs at a carnival this time (...or more accurately, I guess, would be the theme song of an unbearably cheesy surf-party movie from the mid-60s...) .... FRANK ZAPPA IS WEIRD!!!!!!!!! WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Dudes. Frank Zappa is totally weird. Take my word for it. And send comments in regards to this album here.

slb23@shaw.ca (Simon B.) received Dec. 26, 2005

This album is either:
a) insanely stupid
b) insanely brilliant
I think it's somewhere inbetween.
Now, people, don't let the begining turn you away or press the stop button or scratch the needle off the vinyl or throw the record out the window or...
where was I? [....]
Oh yes. Despite the general weirdness, there actually are some very nice musical pieces in there. Like the stuff with the symphony (beautiful) or the "end credits" type music at the end (insanely catchy --- also an instrumental of "Take Your Clothes off when you dance" from WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY.)
--- oh oh, on the back cover it says "Is this phase two of WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY ?" Both albums were released with a very short time of each other. ---
The Dialogue: sometimes it's funny, sometimes stupid, sometimes retarded. (i know, i know, its not politically correct, but damn it, if some of the dialogue in here is just plain retarded.) In short: if you are a Zappahead, you should already own this. If you are a casual music fan stay far far away. If you like advant garde (sp?) music, buy this now, etc. etc.
7.5/10