Just another way to say that I want out of here as quickly as possible...


Just Another Way to Say I Want to Empty Your Bank Account


Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10

Barryyyyyyyyyyyy! Barryyyyyyyyyyyyy Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite.

Well, the year is 1975, the year of the crapper, and the newest pop sensation, disco, has finally taken hold of the American culture. Right at the helm of it, sits Barry White, the biggest, sleaziest, and the coolest disco star of them all. I think.

I'm glad that Barry has quit it with those lame instrumental albums. We're back with the good old singing stuff ...

Um... but Barry is still mumbling... Eh! I shouldn't complain much about that; after all that does go to contribute to a specific sound and attitude that he was trying to convey. But ... crap, man! He just goes too far on these mumblings ... and I don't just mean the subject matter of the mumbling (even though that aspect of it is quite groan inducing). They are just too lengthy! He even decides to devote an entire track to this mumbling stuff and ... and ... grrr ...

Other than that specific track, and the other instances of too-much-mumblin' many of the songs on here are of relatively high quality. There is another track that is just TOO long, clocking in at 10 minutes! Barry White is nothing but a no-good filler-er! Nevertheless, there are a few good disco songs on here that *gasp* are far enough removed from the generic conception of disco that you need not feel guilty for listening to them! However, this probably means that you're best off getting a Barry White compilation.


Overall Album Score: 7.4 out of 10 (Hey! This album tied EXACTLY Barry White's previous non-instrumental album! What a cool coincidence! This is a fairly strong album, but there are enough lapses in taste that keeps this from entering the 8-category. Keep tryin', Barry.)


Average Song Score: 7.8 (Barry White screws the instrumental albums and starts singing again. This is a good set of tunes, however, it is marred by his overconfidence. He apparently thinks that he can sustain a single song for an extremely long time and that we actually enjoy everything that he mumbles about. Although, he did tell someone to take off all of their clothes, but ...)

Album Tilt: 7.5 (Um... When I recall the experience of listening to this album, I remember being content through it. However, I don't remember being particularly thrilled through it, either.)

Artist Rating: 7.0 (He's just too overconfident all the time! He pens a few good songs and delivers a bunch of nifty grooves, but there are too many places in this album that exhibit a severe lack of artistic taste. Sorry, Barry. Yer album is still pretty good, though.)


Track Reviews

Heavenly, That's What You Are To Me 9/10

Well!! Barry White starts off this album with a pretty nifty little disco song! Of course, he simply must start the track off with his deep-voiced love-talking hullabaloo ... but I won't hold that against him! The danceableness of this song is THERE ... um ... I'll never be a disco fan, but I've got to admit that Barry White has created a very solid song here that has some very nice pop hooks, which should please the rest of us who don't want to dance. The instruments are good, of course, but this time, I don't think his scaling violins on this track was the best thing for it. He should have worked to improve them or just have eliminated them entirely.

I'll Do Anything You Want Me To 10/10

...then howabout taking your hand offa my thigh?

More disco! This one has a particularly great groove to it. It's nice n' funkay! This is a much better dance song than the previous track ... even though I don't very much care for one of the song's sub-themes. The tune is very good, and the arrangements fit the song perfectly well ... (though, again, I have to wonder why he felt the need to add the violin tracks ... sure, it's what he has been doing for years, but I really don't think they're necessary). In spite of the sub-theme, this is easily the greatest track of this album ... and I'm even willing to call it a disco song that you need not feel too guilty about enjoying.

All Because of You 8.5/10

This song is a bit more sweeping ... it's still pretty good, but it can't even hope to compare with "I'll Do Anything You Want Me To." Though, Barry's vocals here are nice n' passionate. He did a nice job with it.

Love Serenade (Part 1) 6.5/10

Hhhhck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did Barry White just tell me to take all my clothes off??? ... um, dude? I'm not wearing a brassiere. ... Oh, wait. He's not talking to me. *Whew* I was getting a bit frightened.

Okay, he's talking too much crap for too long at the beginning of this one ... in fact he pretty much talks throughout the whole thing. I demand a song, Bubba! I'm giving this one a rather high score because you might call this song a lot of things, but you can't call it boring! The light backing instrumentals are pretty fitting.

What Am I Gonna Do With You 8.5/10

This is a pretty decent disco song! Again, this one, you don't have to feel particularly awful about listening to it. I'm glad he had enough sense, though, to cut this one off at three-and-a-half minutes. It wouldn't have lasted a whole lot longer.

Let Me Live My Life Loving You Babe 9/15

You know ... this 10-minute song isn't bad at all ... but, yes, it is way too long. At least, however, Barry White identifies correctly the song in which he could extend for 10 minutes. This goes completely against what he did on his early albums! This track isn't awful to listen to the entire way; it could have been quite a bit worse. However, it ought to have been cut off at the six-minute mark. Beyond that point, the song starts to get really tedious.

Love Serenade (Part II) 7/10

Hmmm... I guess Barry decided to revisit "Love Serenade" and give us an actual song this time! Although, it's just a short instrumental, and it isn't really that good, is it? The groove is surprisingly tight-assed for Barry White! He always used to seem so comfortable giving us some loose grooves! This might actually be closer to David Bowie's personal brand of "Plastic Soul." Oh well...


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All reviews are copyrighted by the author, Michael Lawrence. Howdy, stranger.